The Surprising Reason Why You Shouldn't Care What People Think

Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt worried about someone else judging you for something. Well, I can’t see you, BUT I’m sure you agree with the statement.

We all get worried or insecure about what someone else is going to think about us; whether it’s someone saying something about our outfit not being stylish, a picture we post on Instagram not getting enough likes, your friends talking behind your back about a career move you’re working on, or people criticizing artwork you display and not having anything positive to say about it.

Whenever we are putting ourselves out there, in any way, it’s hard to not have that voice in the back of our head telling us someone isn’t going to like it. The problem is, that thought is going to hold you back more than you can imagine, and I’ll tell you why.

The Problem

Think about it. If you are scared of something, how likely are you to do that thing?

If you’re terrified of heights, do you think you’d go skydiving this weekend? Or, if you’re scared of ghosts, do you think that you’d choose a horror movie to see tonight over a comedy or something less likely to put you on edge? The answer is no.

Of course we all want to face our fears, and we most likely will at some point; but the point is that the odds of us choosing those activities over other, more comfortable ones are smaller.

Let's go back to people judging you.

Think of it this way: You’re starting a side hustle. It’s something you happen to be really good at, but it’s not what you’re known for. You start bringing it up to people you’re close to for feedback. You’re friends aren’t sure that side gig is really the best for you; it’s risky and not the standard job they’re used to. You’re thinking now that if you put it out there online—for more people to see and hopefully hire you—that everyone you connect with on social media will see and think the same thing that your friends said.

Now you’re scared of what people are going to think. How likely are you to pursue that side hustle and put it out there as much as it needs to take off? Not so likely.

This problem is really more detrimental than you think. Imagine the big dreams for your life never passing the starting line just because of the fleeting thoughts of someone you used to know in high school; or because of the gossip between two of your not-so-real friends? Even if they'll be over it in a few weeks when there's a new story to talk about?

This thought is very sad.

You could say that you’ll just wait until you have made whatever you’re doing absolutely perfect; that way, no one can criticize you. Well, we all know that is totally impossible. Not only is there no such thing as perfect, but even if you did get as close to perfect as possible, people still have totally different tastes from one another. You can’t please everybody. You will be judged. That’s just life, you can’t stop it from happening.

The Solution

If you think about all the great ideas out there—all the beautiful pieces of art, all the movies made, all the crazy-successful people who made a huge career change to get there—you will see that all of these things have one thing in common. They were all judged by somebody. Whether it was by huge industry leaders or by their own mothers. Someone was questioning their idea, and someone was probably telling them it could never happen—or at least telling others around the gossip table.

Did you know in Walt Disney’s early days, before Mickey Mouse, he was fired from another job for “lacking creativity?” Crazy, right?

No one; not even you, me, or Walt Disney; can ever be completely clear of judging eyes and nosy ears. Yes, you can do everything in secret—hell, I started a blog in secret for that exact reason! But I soon realized that I would never get anywhere, nor reach the people I wanted to reach, while keeping that thing in the dark. It’s not possible. In order to be successful, you have to put yourself out there.

Now, this is definitely not for everyone and that’s totally okay. But just try it. I am a very shy person and I struggled with insecurity most of my life; I definitely did not think I’d be the type of person to be able to confidently put myself out there—and I still struggle now and then. But I’m doing it, and it’s not so hard once you get used to it. So, just give it a try.

What You Can Do About It

Try making changes in your life to keep you from thinking about people judging you.

How did these success stories I mentioned earlier get past the judgment? They stopped looking at it; and when they saw it pop up in their face, they ignored it and kept going. Easier said than done, right? Definitely. But it can be done.

These are the changes I implemented in my own life to get where I am today: carefree of people’s judgment and working on my own success. It’s not easy, I still think about it from time to time; but it is possible to keep it from holding you back. You have to remove people's negative opinions from being right in front of you.

If it's on social media, block their profiles or make your own private. If it's gossip in your friend group, remove yourself from those conversations. Anything you can do to keep the thought of someone judging you or something that you're doing out of your mind.

Wrapping It Up

Caring too much about how people are going to judge you or what you’re doing will hold you back way more than you think. We can never keep people from judging us; someone is always watching unless you keep yourself hidden from the world. But hiding will never move you forward.

The problem is that so many of us hold the opinions of irrelevant people so high. High enough that, because of them, we can’t even get our project to pass the starting line, or get ourselves out there in front of people.

Not caring is definitely easier said than done. But it is possible to care less by implementing changes into our lives that help us move forward; no matter what those people are thinking about us. These changes will help you learn how to keep those judgments from distracting you from your goals and from living your life.

The solution is to first realize that you can never be perfect enough for people to not judge you, and then to remove that judgment from your mind as best you can. If you’re constantly trying to perfect yourself, you will never actually get yourself out there. The most successful people today were judged, even by the people closest to them, and look where they are now. What you can do about it is block those people and their opinions out of your mind.

Caring too much about what people think is not going to do anything to stop them. But it will stop you from living how you want.

Do you, boo.