The Myth of the Fresh Start: What No One Tells You After You Immigrate

When people talk about immigration, they frame it like a magic reset button – the chance to leave everything behind and start over clean. But here’s the truth most won’t say out loud: you can change your environment, your job, even your timezone – but if you don’t confront what’s inside, your past will travel with you.

I learned that the long, hard way.

What I Wanted to Leave Behind

Before moving to Canada, I felt something stirring inside me. A kind of dissatisfaction with the way things were – not just in my environment, but within me. I had good habits, sure, but I knew I could do more, be more.

I didn’t just want a new life. I wanted a new mindset.

But I also carried a quiet hope: maybe the distance from home would help me figure out who I really am – beyond what my family expected of me, beyond tradition. See, in the Philippines, it’s common to live with your parents well into adulthood. You absorb their habits, their way of thinking. I didn’t want to be stuck in that loop forever.

Coming to Canada was my chance to break free. To discover me.

The Loneliness That No One Warned Me About

The “fresh start” felt exciting at first – new job, new city, new routines. But it didn’t take long for the silence to creep in. And in that silence, all the things I thought I’d left behind began to whisper again.

I missed my family. Not just in the obvious way – but in the soul-deep kind of way that only immigrants understand. And yet, I chose this distance. Not out of rebellion, but out of growth. I needed space from them, from their thinking, from their grip on how life should be.

Still, that doesn’t make the loneliness easier. It just makes it more complex.

You Bring More Than Luggage

I came here with my wife and now, my son. I came with hopes and a sharp mindset I’ve always tried to maintain. But I also unknowingly brought things I was supposed to leave behind.

I brought the habit of overworking – hustling past the point of exhaustion because that’s how we were raised. I brought the unspoken guilt of sending money back home for years, quietly drowning in bills here while feeling like I couldn’t say no. Because that’s what a good Filipino child does, right?

But here’s the thing: I’ve been doing it for over six years. And now that I have a family of my own to care for, I’ve started questioning these expectations. I don’t want to pass them on to my son. I want to break that chain.

The Real Work Begins After You Land

I thought immigration was the hard part. Turns out, the real work started afterward. It’s the emotional labour of standing your ground in a new culture. Of learning how to speak up, take space, and trust yourself – even when you feel like the outsider in every room.

In this country, being timid or overly humble can be mistaken for weakness. So I’ve had to grow some edge – not in arrogance, but in confidence. And let me tell you: that takes more strength than filling out any immigration form.

I Wasn’t Running Away – I Was Running Toward

People think moving abroad is an escape. For me, it was the opposite. I wasn’t running from my problems. I was sprinting toward a better life – for me, for my wife, for our future. I wanted growth. I wanted clarity. I wanted freedom.

And even though Canada didn’t erase the past, it gave me the space to face it – and that’s how real transformation begins.

For the Dreamers Thinking of Immigrating

Let me be real with you: immigration won’t fix your life. But it’s still better than doing nothing.

If you come with the mindset of reinvention – not escape – then you’re already ahead. Just know that a new country won’t change you unless you’re ready to do the inner work too.

And if you feel like you brought your baggage with you – congratulations. You’re human. Now unpack it, piece by piece, and decide what’s worth keeping.

Because you don’t just move to a new country to change your location. You move to become the person you’ve always known you could be.