The Meaning of Life

2020. Wow. What a year so far. The year of the unpredictable, the unexpected.

For many of us, this has been the year of the rug being pulled out from under our feet, the year of ‘can you wake me up when this has all blown over?’, the year of subconsciously building our mental resilience… It's also been the year of hangovers on a Tuesday, video calls over the internet, searching high and low for hope and learning what PPE stands for and how to wear it properly. The year of trying to stick to the rules whilst doing our best to navigate a way through a world turned upside down. 2020 has been a *shocker* of a year for many, not to mention all the sad stories of people who are no longer with us due to COVID-19.

But it hasn’t been all bad. Some of the heartwarmingly selfless, courageous actions people have taken to help each other out, the communities that have pulled together when they most needed to, the incredible efforts of the key workers to make others' lives safer and even the humour and home-made entertainment that found its way to our screens helped to lightened the mood when all the news was unerringly bleak. There were some bright moments.

And a lot of questions. I remembering wondering when things would get back to normal, when I could wake up and feel hopeful again. But no one could possibly have the answer to that. I came across a few people who said, ‘well, this is a testing situation, but if we can just hold it together for a bit longer, it'll be alright.’ And others who had accepted things would be different for a while, maybe forever, but that might not be a totally bad thing, just that 'what would be, would be'.

I asked them to explain how they reached that state of mind. They said to me, ‘nothing is ever totally one-sided. There’s always room to adjust our perspective and reflect. We always have the option to figure out what elements we have control over, and accept that even if we can't change or fix the situation itself, at least we can alter how we react to it.’

Their words resonated with me. I spent some time thinking about what it meant for my own day-to-day and what the implications could be for my own rising tides of concern. Because I was anxious. Not just about this invisible virus that appeared to be spiralling out of control, but also what the life of a musician might look like with cancelled tour schedules and venue shutdowns, not to mention economic turmoil and people who might not be able to afford to go to gigs or buy merch anymore. I spent a few days processing what was happening in the world and trying to find a way to stop internally battling the reality, to stop asking why and try and seek an acceptance that the bigger picture was simply out of my control.

As I started to focus on acceptance, I realised that a bigger question, one that I’ve asked myself for so many years finally had some answers too. I got home and wrote down a page of thoughts, a spring of consciousness about the meaning of life. I wrote it partly for myself and partly for others who have been finding life - and in particular life in 2020 - challenging. I wrote it to reassure, and I hope it brings some reassurance to anyone watching. I also tried and find some other ways to be creative, which is how this piece on Vocal - and this video footage/music took form. I decided to take my iPhone out with me on some walks, did some filming, edited the video, wrote some music to it, brought it all together and uploaded it to YouTube with a voiceover on it... It's the video above.

And here’s a transcript:

I asked myself a question the other day

I asked myself what I think is the meaning of life

I realised I had a few ideas and I wanted to share them

The meaning of life is noticing all the small details

Laughing when we need to laugh

Crying when we need to cry

Standing up for what we believe

But letting go when it’s time

Its being honest with ourselves and those around us

Finding ways to make other people smile when they’ve had a hard time

Helping those who need help, shining a light to brighten their darkness

Its letting our conviction guide us when we feel totally lost

Doing the right thing even when it throws us out of our comfort zone

Admitting defeat when the victory is long gone and coming to terms with that

Valuing every moment we have and waking up with just a little bit of excitement

Because no one knows what the day ahead might bring

It’s having the courage to love with our whole heart

Even when the fear of that love being rejected scares us

It’s admitting we’re wrong when we’re wrong

Being vulnerable and open minded

Remembering we’re only human , and remembering that’s enough

Finding connection when we least expect it

And giving ourselves time to get where we’re going

The meaning of life is life itself

We can’t stop it and it will go on even when we’re no longer here

It’s life

And that’s it