The Life After

It's funny because I feel like my deepest passion, the thing I come alive for is unspoken. Or less spoken of I guess would be the most accurate way of saying it. My life, my goals, my future is wound around the one thing that should've destroyed me - but didn't.

When I was nineteen I was gang-raped on my college campus. By three D1 athletes, one of the three was also an international ambassador for the University I attended. As you may believe that destroyed me I fought and fought hard to get my rapists in trouble with the school, and with the local police. Neither fought with me though, sadly they lacked the intention of helping me get these guys some sort of punishment or legal trouble. Instead, they graduated with the same titles and honors as before. So I left. I went as far as physically possible while remaining in the states from where the university resided. I did a program where I got to experience life overseas for three months and it was the best decision I could have ever made. With that being said I actually met Jesus and gave my life to Him and that was the jumpstart of my heart and passion for helping others who have been sexually assaulted and helping them find healing.

In 2019 I started an Instagram page and launched a video talking about my experience and what I had endured. But didn't stop there - created a vulnerable environment where others could read a similar experience to their own and find validation in their healing process. Helping people heal from horrible things is my passion, listening to their stories of rape and assault and giving them the validation of saying "I get that" or "me too." There is power in the connection and when it comes to something like rape - there are similar wounds. Having someone just get it versus having to try to explain why you're feeling what you are is hard. It feels impossible. I want to continue doing this - keep pushing with people giving them a no-judgment zone, give them the freedom to ask questions.

The point isn't just to give space for people to ask questions and stay there. I want to help them see hope and freedom again on the other side. I never thought I was capable of loving or receiving it. But there is life after. There is hope and love and life.

Being a twenty-three-year-old woman this isn't exactly what I had in mind when it came to my life, and what I wanted to do. But I've been so honored and blessed to walk with others who invite me into some of their darkest moments. My platform is social media, and I try to be the opposite of everyone one else, I don't put on this idea that my life is somehow perfect. I strive to create a safe space to be real and pull people out of what they've tried so hard to create for themselves instead of just being themselves. There is beauty in the pain, there are lessons, others need that wisdom. I don't find many people talking so openly about the hardships they've faced and that is what I'm trying to do. Be real with me, tell me when things suck, ask how I made it through the first few months after my rape, ask me how I learned to trust again. We need each other, we need vulnerability and realness. Otherwise, there isn't healing, if we keep pretending everything is fine we will lose part of ourselves in that pretending.

I'm fully in, I'm dedicated to people who are desperate for healing, who are tired of the perfect Instagram reels, and the perfect lives of these perfect humans that don't really exist. I'm committed to the broken and the hurting - I'm committed to their healing. I don't even really know how it will look to continue in this journey I know I was created for, but I'm ready for whatever it may look like.

That is it, that is my passion. There is life after.