The cave of wonders.

I think I checked out? 🌎 Somewhere between childhood and at 19 after having a my oldest child. Scratch that actually I’ve always been strange and weird. I feel like an alien on this planet. I’d prefer to sit in my own mind because that’s where the fun happens. Out there in the dull, chaotic world there is too much noise.

In my mind there is a quiet 🤫 so much quiet in fact I can hear myself think, I can hear my inner child running around happy and free trapped only by my responsibility. How I wish I could go back but go back to a happy childhood with a home full of peace and joy. To relive my teenage years and have one last get together with my friends before I destroyed my brain cells with copious amounts of substances.

However my childhood is where it all began deep in the magic and isolation of my imagination and my mind. I can see my inner child inviting me back calling me back to freedom... I can see a wild forest and my younger self walking wistfully into the forest with ore and wonder turning to invite me in excitedly. What will I find? What will I experience? What will I become? Am I ready for the journey?

Ready or not here I go.. so I give in and follow slowly as my younger self invites me into this mystical space. Every step Into my imigination feels safer the deeper I go. I am noticing as I keep a close watch on my younger self (as to not loose my way) that every step ignites a beautiful reaction to the forest floor. This is no regular forest this is the forest my imagination created with the careful production of my younger self. This is a beautiful, mystical space. The trees form a thick canopy amd the overtone is deep blues, purple and yellows. The trees are comforting as if they touch your shoulders as you walk past to say hello. This place is safe and familiar. So safe I want to go deeper. I shift my focus on to my younger self who has excitedly picked up the pace it would seem she has confidence in my following and is no longer checking behind to make sure I am pursuing the journey. Well it’s too late now I’m captivated by this space and it’s wonder. I don’t think I could ever do it justice by explaining and describing these surrounds. Then again, perhaps I could only ever truely describe this place as it was my younger self who designed it.

At this point my younger self was getting so far ahead I decided I needed to pick up the pace but it would seem the faster I ran the faster she would go. So I stopped as in the distance I saw a clearing and resigned myself to the fact that this was the desired destination. I watched as my younger self turned around at the entrance of the clearing. I could not make out her face clearly but I could tell she was smiling. With that she flicked her long dark hair, twirled in her frilly frock and ran into the clearing barefoot with no fear. This would be a safe place. With that she was no longer in sight. I took comfort that my young guide seemed overly excited to run into the clearing. So I continued forward. Each step was now filled with anticipation as I picked up the pace. I was very keen to see where my young guide went and what mystical designs might wait.

Finally I reached the clearing the tones and hues of this place were now brighter as I looked out to a bright and rolling hillside with green trees, the greenest grass I’ve ever seen followed by the bluest sky and yellow sun. Completely different to the dark blue and purple hues of the long forest entrance.

I could not see my guide despite my scanning the vast hillsides and beyond. This made me apprehensive to move forward however every instinct told me it was safe to do so. I took a step out of the forest entrance and as I did I noticed a figure walking towards me. This time it was a tall figure and from the distance they looked male. They were walking slowly but directly to me I decided to wait. This gives me time to figure out who this person might be.