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The Anxiety of Infinite Options: Why Choosing Feels Harder Than Ever

From Netflix to dating apps, the abundance of choice is making us miserable instead of free

By Ahmet Kıvanç DemirkıranPublished 5 months ago 4 min read
“A lone figure stands before an endless wall of glowing doors, symbolizing the overwhelming burden of too many choices.”

When the internet promised us “everything, everywhere, all at once,” it sounded like a dream. Unlimited shows to stream, endless restaurants delivering to our door, infinite profiles to swipe through in search of love. Choice was supposed to equal freedom. But instead of liberation, many of us feel paralyzed.

We scroll for hours on Netflix, unable to decide what to watch. We open a food delivery app, and after browsing for 20 minutes, we’re too tired to even order. We swipe through dating apps until our thumbs ache, never sure if the next profile will finally be “the one.” And when it comes to major decisions—like choosing a career path, city, or partner—the stakes feel overwhelming in a world of seemingly endless possibilities.

This is the paradox of modern choice: the more options we have, the less satisfied we feel.

The Paradox of Choice

Psychologist Barry Schwartz coined the term “the paradox of choice” to describe how abundance doesn’t make us happier—it makes us anxious. When choices were limited, we took what was available and moved on. Now, with infinite options, every decision feels like a test.

Choosing one Netflix series means missing out on thousands of others. Saying yes to one job offer means closing doors to countless alternative futures. Even something as trivial as ordering sushi instead of pizza can trigger regret: “Maybe the other choice would’ve been better.”

This fear of missing out (FOMO) feeds our dissatisfaction. Instead of enjoying what we picked, we obsess over what we didn’t pick.

Decision Fatigue: Why Our Brains Shut Down

The human brain wasn’t built for a buffet of endless choices. Studies show that decision-making drains mental energy. The more small decisions we make, the less willpower we have left for big ones.

That’s why CEOs like Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg wore the same outfit every day—not because they lacked fashion sense, but because they understood decision fatigue. One less choice meant one more ounce of focus reserved for meaningful work.

Yet most of us spend hours debating trivial things: which moisturizer to buy, which playlist to listen to, which coffee shop to visit. By the time real decisions arrive, we’re exhausted.

The Tinder Problem: The Endless Swipe

Dating apps are the perfect metaphor for our modern paralysis. On paper, having thousands of potential partners at our fingertips should increase our odds of finding love. In reality, it creates an illusion of infinite possibility—and with it, infinite doubt.

Why settle on this person when the next swipe might reveal someone better? Each choice becomes provisional, each connection temporary. Commitment feels risky when endless options hover in the background, promising something “more perfect.”

The result: a culture of ghosting, half-hearted relationships, and perpetual searching. The paradox strikes again—endless freedom leading to endless dissatisfaction.

Regret and the “What If” Spiral

Even after choosing, many people fall into the “what if” spiral. Psychologists call this counterfactual thinking—imagining the outcomes of paths not taken.

What if I had moved to that other city?

What if I had chosen a different career?

What if I had dated the other person?

Instead of feeling peace, choices become haunted by imagined alternatives. It’s not just that we’re overwhelmed before making a decision—we remain anxious after.

Why Simplicity Feels Like Relief

Interestingly, people often feel happier in environments with fewer choices. Think of walking into a small bakery where there are only three types of bread. You pick one, and that’s that. No regret. No mental gymnastics.

This explains why minimalism, capsule wardrobes, and even curated subscription boxes have surged in popularity. By outsourcing or reducing decisions, people reclaim mental clarity. Less choice often feels like more freedom.

How to Escape the Choice Trap

The world isn’t going to stop offering us options. But we can change how we navigate them. Here are a few ways:

Set boundaries on options – Limit your search. Instead of scrolling endlessly for dinner, commit to choosing from the first five restaurants.

Practice satisficing, not maximizing – Instead of chasing the absolute best option, aim for “good enough.” Research shows satisficers are happier than maximizers.

Automate trivial choices – Meal prep, recurring orders, and routines reduce mental clutter.

Value experiences over optimization – Instead of worrying about the “perfect” choice, focus on being present with the one you made.

Reflect on values, not options – Choices become easier when guided by principles. If family, creativity, or health is your compass, decisions fall into place more naturally.

The Deeper Question: What Are We Really Afraid Of?

Beneath the anxiety of choice lies a deeper fear: the fear of missing out on the best possible life. Modern culture tells us that with enough research, optimization, and effort, we can craft a perfect existence. Every choice feels loaded—one wrong move, and we imagine we’ve ruined our future.

But life has never been about maximizing every possible outcome. It has always been about living fully within the paths we do choose. Freedom doesn’t come from infinite options—it comes from committing to the ones that matter.

Closing Thought

Next time you find yourself paralyzed in front of Netflix or endlessly scrolling on your phone, pause. Notice the anxiety creeping in. Remind yourself: perfection is an illusion, and “good enough” is often the doorway to real joy.

Because in the end, it’s not the number of choices that matters. It’s the courage to choose—and to live deeply in what follows.

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About the Creator

Ahmet Kıvanç Demirkıran

As a technology and innovation enthusiast, I aim to bring fresh perspectives to my readers, drawing from my experience.

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  • Marie381Uk 5 months ago

    This is so true 😊🦋😊♦️

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