The Actual Issue Overcoming Jealousy

Ways to Overcome Jealousy.

“AH! THEY HAVE THIS AND THAT, WHILE I’M STRUGGLING. MY LIFE IS SO DIFFICULT, I CAN’T EVEN FIND HAPPINESS! IF THEY’RE HAPPY, THEN I MUST SUFFER. IF THEY SUFFER, THEN I’LL FEEL RELIEF.”

Ever felt that way? Most of us have, at least once, and I know I have. That feeling can be utterly draining. Jealousy takes over me, and I find myself thinking, “I can’t let that person surpass me; my pride won’t allow it.” This often leads me to resort to underhanded tactics, like spreading rumors — not entirely lies, but enough to cast a shadow over the person I’m talking about. “This person is this way; that person does that.”

Reflecting on my past actions, I ask myself, “What was I really doing? Did I truly believe that slandering others would make me a better person?” The answer is no, and deep down, we all know this. Yet, we struggle to let go of that feeling, don’t we? It lingers in our minds — the belief that they are somehow better than us.

So, how do we release ourselves from this grip of jealousy? I won’t tell you, “Don’t be jealous” — that’s too abstract. It’s not like you can just switch off the feeling. So how do you actually overcome it? You might have heard this before, “Let jealousy be your fuel for motivation.” That’s true, but let’s take it a step further.

Acceptance

The first step is acceptance. Tell yourself, “Yes, that person is better than me. So what?” It stings to admit, but once you accept it, you can move forward. Acknowledge that their achievements don’t diminish your own potential for success. Success is personal and subjective. Everyone defines success differently, so what does it mean to you? For me, it’s about becoming a kinder person, little by little.

Remember, you’re often focusing too much on external factors — things you can’t control. You can’t control your friends, but you can control yourself. This is just a reminder of what you likely already know.

Acknowledge Their Success

Acknowledge that your friends may be ahead of you. Say it out loud if you must, perhaps even in front of a mirror. Look yourself in the eyes and repeat it. When discussing the person you envy with others, offer genuine praise, “They’re really good at this and that. They’re a remarkable individual.” Say it, and try to mean it. Keep saying it, over and over.

Be genuinely proud of your friends. You have amazing friends who have accomplished great things. When they achieve something, celebrate it! “Hey, that’s my friend!” Take pride in their successes. When they smile at you, smile back — genuinely. Mean it.

I emphasize “mean it” because true meaning comes from acceptance. Sure, there may be moments when they act superior or distant, fully aware of their advantages over you. But don’t let that shake you. Remember — acceptance is key.

The Power of Smiling

Smiling can profoundly impact your mood. Imagine feeling down and taking a moment to force a smile while recalling a cherished memory, no matter how small. This simple act can shift your perspective, allowing a flicker of happiness to return, even if just for a moment. Such an action can transform your outlook, guiding you toward a more positive and uplifting mindset.

Tell yourself you’re happy for them, compliment them, and accept the truth, “Yes, they are better than me, and that’s okay.” Gradually, the jealousy will subside, allowing you to focus on your own growth.

My Journey to Freedom

Why am I confident this approach works? I can’t say for certain, but it worked for me. Jealousy is a heavy burden that weighs you down and shapes you into someone you don’t want to be. I struggled with deep insecurities and jealousy whenever I saw others outperform me. But now? I’m free. Finally free.

Disclaimer The content reflects personal experiences with jealousy and self-acceptance. It is for informational purposes only and not professional advice.