healing
How to heal fully and properly.
Frozen still
I sit here with a deep gravity to my field. I sit here frozen still confused on where I should be. What should I be doing right now? How can I help? How can I stop all the suffering, all the pain, all the screams from crying out. How can I save the innocent from those who are ignorant. Save the animals who have suffered long enough from the choices we have made. Sitting here I have realized I can't. I can't move, for I have no way to get there. I can't speak, for I don't have a voice people listen to. I can't help, for I don't know if I have any power to do so. I CAN'T move and it feels like I will be like this forever. That the pain will never stop coming, that as long as we keep looking the other way, pretending that we don't see this suffering, it will consume us all. Then we won't have a choice but move and speak up. We will be forced to acknowledge what is and accept that hell is happening on earth. I am so afraid of what's to come. Our souls are growing but not nearly at the rate they need to be. We have continued to distract ourselves and shed light on only what is true to us. Disregarding truths and pain because they are not experienced by our own being. How can we be so ignorant to believe that that means they don't matter. We are all one. We are ONE consciousness living in a universe that is growing and making mistakes. I am sitting here frozen telling myself that there is nothing I can do but reach out my soul to every being that is hurting. For if they are hurting so am I. For if they are hurting so are we. These mistakes that the human race keep making have consequences and when we meet our doomsday I only hope the human race is humble enough to believe that we had this coming, that we did nothing as the world burned and mother nature spoke more clearly as she ever has. The world is on fire and I'm sitting here in my cool apartment frozen to the fact that to do something means to change. To be uncomfortable, creative, determined, loud, strict, brave, courageous and most importantly strong. We have so much power to be better than who we were yesterday. We are also so blind to the fact that we are in control of what world we want to live in. I am done with being still. Done with being frozen. I don't know how to unfreeze myself but, I know that being frozen is the first step down a long journey of self-discovery the world needs to face. I hope the world sees what mother nature is trying to say. I hope we freeze with fear so that we can rise above and stop the suffering that occurs every second of every day. I am still frozen and it really feels like I always will be. Never the less my soul knows deep inside that we are capable of unconditional love because that's our true nature, we have just forgotten. To all the souls suffering all over the world, I call out to you. I send you all the bravery and strength needed in these burning times. I send you understanding and compassion for yourselves and for your families. I send you the deepest form of love, reaching out to let you know I'm here and will continue to be there frozen still in time. I get it now. I feel it like a presence. I am frozen because I am waiting. Waiting for my orders. Leaving my body to rest and get ready for the battle that's coming my way. I might be frozen but I will never not fight for what is right and what I believe in. I am frozen still, rising slowly but powerfully.
By Elisha6 years ago in Motivation
Flip Your Script
Your perspective is and always will be your reality. When you change your perspective, you will change your entire life. A perspective is a point of view sowed by a set of beliefs. A belief is manifested by a chronic thought pattern on a particular subject positively oriented towards the likelihood of something being true, whether you like it or not.
By Ilyse Rothman6 years ago in Motivation
I was done...
Maybe you’ve seen me around at a mall shopping with my son Donovan. If you have, you’d probably never guess I was battling cervical cancer or that I was a single mom with no baby daddy support. Maybe you could take a look at me or my Instagram @xnauli and calculate that I have it all together and my life couldn’t possibly be hard. But that’s just it. I think you can agree that life can be hard and life isn’t always Instagram pretty. The only difference is made between the one who goes harder and the one who goes softer.
By Stephanie N6 years ago in Motivation
The Strong Woman’s Burden
I hear so many women speak about the burden that the expectation of strength brings to their lives. When am I allowed to be weak? When am I allowed not to have all the answers or solutions? When will I be allowed to name my pain and be given the space and room to heal? While I am broken and shattered by this world, I am still expected to carry the load of the daily functions, whether it be family, work, school, society, etc., there is an expectation that I still show up. At some point we must accept our humanity. While being superhuman would be nice, the reality is that we’re just as fragile as any other living thing, and we also require nurturing, and emotional, physical, and spiritual nourishment. From my own personal experience strength sometimes happens, not because I choose it, but because there is no other choice. There is also an element of fear that abounds when I think about weakness. Even though it is quite natural and human to have moments of weakness, there is a fear that arises at the pain that vulnerability can bring. If I open myself up, will there be supports to help me heal, or will someone just pour salt in the wound.
By Kanisha Moye6 years ago in Motivation
HAVING LUPUS, IS NOT A VACATION. PERIOD
“OMG, you’re at home all day, must be fun! Right? Why do you complain, I wish I had the same life as you!” This statement I have been hearing and listening to past many many years of my life from people who do NOT know me fully, and even sometimes from my friends.
By Fatema Siddiki6 years ago in Motivation
Your Responsibility
Firm boundaries weren't familiar to me. My boundaries weren't always respected. At a young age, they were violated. It was hard forming firm boundaries for myself. I didn't know how to enforce one in the first place. That's something I never had the tools for. I wasn't taught healthy boundaries and growing up I wasn't able to demonstrate or form firm boundaries towards others. Especially in sexual relationships. I became an impulsive person and I didn't think about the consequences. Even if they would float up, I'd tie up a boulder and let it sink back down. I was indecisiveness, which came from the part that I wasn't clear with my own needs. Knowing our boundaries and needs are important and it keeps us from being manipulated and taken advantage off. They are the guidelines that we've put up to be able to have a safe, respectful, and supportive relationships with others.
By Merichel Sanchez6 years ago in Motivation
Goodbye ana, and hello to me.
To Ana To me. Ana, you've been with me a while now, but I think that it might just be time to let you go soon. So please don't tighten your hold on me. You are a demon that only I can see. Or so I thought so anyway, until I realised that others could see it written all over my face.
By TBIRRA6 years ago in Motivation
The great office temptation
It’s day two of me quitting sugar and alcohol for a year. I’ve done a month no sugar once before - I remember it being difficult for the first couple of weeks, then once you get past the insane withdrawal headaches and the insatiable cravings it gets a lot easier. I was ultimately successful in proving that I could do it for a month, but as soon as the month was over I jumped straight back on that wagon with an enormous slice of cake and I haven’t looked back. I feel quite positive going into this experiment this time around, but I’m quickly realising there were some things I hadn’t thought of. When I quit sugar the first time round I did it in the middle of the year rather than immediately after the Christmas holidays. I also work a 9 to 5 office job and figured that going back into the office wouldn’t be any more difficult than it normally is after nearly two weeks off. That was until I wandered through the doors this morning.
By Sarah Wells6 years ago in Motivation
Dear Joseph
Dear Joseph, I want you to remember that life may not always give you what you want. You can work hard and strive for a better experience, and people may never see the effort that you put in. But I want you to know that it's fine to feel this way. Life is not easy, and often times it's filled with laughter and love, but you will have your fair share of trials and tribulations. You have to hold your head high in these moments and keep pushing forward so that you may bring your dream into fruition. People may not agree with the goals you have, and they may criticize you for the aspirations that you have. That doesn’t mean that you need to give up. You just have to close your mind to the close-minded people that don’t believe you can do it.
By Joseph K Manibusan Jr6 years ago in Motivation
Lone
christmas day... the most happiest day of all... and the most lonely for some people. some day i will tell you of my story but for now all i will say is my adoptive parents divorced in my early teens and i lived with my dad for roughly the same amount of time as i had lived with my mom. but this year things changed and for the first time in a little under a decade, i met up with her and talked... about nothing. i was quite upset that she never mentioned about “the incident” or offered an apology. i still wonder to this day that if she had would i have forgiven her? anyways fast forward a few months and i’m starting college, a brand new adventure awaits but i unfortunately can’t seem to enjoy it. ever since meeting her, my broken life that i had slowly pieced together was threatening to collapse on me again. i didn’t want another breakdown, i didn’t want to feel like i didn’t want to live anymore, how could she come into my peaceful life and take it away from me all the while smiling at me as if she never wronged me? questioning my mental sanity, my roommate who happens to be a psych major, suggested i get help. i don’t want to be prodded with questions, i know they don’t care, it’s their job to listen not to care. so with no option but to figure it out myself i began to sink deeper into the monotony that was my life. if i was not in class, then i was working, if i was not working or in class then you would probably find me in a bathroom stall just sitting and finding peace in a place that had a locked door. day in and day out everything had a pattern... but i couldn’t show that to other people so i went into incognito mode, trying to be invisible to everyone. Thanksgiving break came sooner than i wished and after having been constantly pestered by her to have thanksgiving dinner with her and her family, i caved. the day of found me in a disoriented haze. nothing in my suitcase seemed to be good enough so i went out and bought new clothes, my hair survived my brutal attacks to it as i wrestled it into a style, and finally i carefully applied my makeup. i find that a lot can be implied if you look at me in the eyes when i’m wearing makeup and this time was no different. I had on a dark brown base with black eyeshadow lining my upper and lower lid as well as black waterline eyeliner and black mascara. all black, everything everything all black. the rest of the family had arrived early that morning and yet i still found myself sitting and waiting well into the afternoon. she had said “come to thanksgiving dinner” and dinner wasn’t until late afternoon right? i had time right? after sitting around for another couple of hours i got a text from her asking if i was still coming. i figured it was now or never. quickly replying, i hopped into the car and started it up. the drive over i felt nothing, my hands clutched the cold leather steering wheel but i may have been touching the clouds, i couldn’t have told you. eyes focused on the road without really seeing anything... thank goodness there was barely any traffic. the heat was blasting so hot that my hands on the wheel were burning but my body felt ice cold. when i arrived, she asked me if i was scared. i don’t remember saying anything at all to her but as we went inside, i plastered on a smile. my brother, my sisters, my i suppose adoptive step dad... all people i hadn’t seen in years... all in one place. the night went by fairly well and by the early evening i left with my oldest sister. during the ride home she pestered me, as i knew she would, with unabrasive questions about how i felt. i answered with, “i have no regrets, only bad decisions, but she doesn’t have much time left.” looking back on it a month later i feel the same way about it as i did then. nothing. christmas was much of the same. she invited me and i declined. i needed a break and time to put back the fake mask on again. we ended up meeting at ruby tuesday where in the end of our lunch i started feeling twitchy. my muscles were jumpy, i couldn’t sit still or keep my eyes on one particular thing, and my teeth started clattering. upon seeing this she restrained from making any more conversation. looking back on it, i think it was a minuit breakdown. i can’t have another major one, i don’t think i will survive it. so back to the shopping cart. i have spent my whole life being alone, pushing others away because i don’t want to be hurt because of her. but this lone shopping cart taught me that being alone isn’t worth all the trouble just because of the pain. because of the pain i became stronger and for that i’m thankful. so this is my 2020 promise to myself. i want to find myself and when i do i want to love myself so hard it hurts because no one else can do it for me. i hope you will stick around to see my journey because this decade has got to be better than the other two. i promised myself it would be.
By Sofya Maxnide6 years ago in Motivation
