Maybe you’ve seen me around at a mall shopping with my son Donovan. If you have, you’d probably never guess I was battling cervical cancer or that I was a single mom with no baby daddy support. Maybe you could take a look at me or my Instagram @xnauli and calculate that I have it all together and my life couldn’t possibly be hard. But that’s just it. I think you can agree that life can be hard and life isn’t always Instagram pretty. The only difference is made between the one who goes harder and the one who goes softer.
Don’t get me wrong, I have softie moments 😢, like when Rose tells Jack she’ll never let go 😤 but she lets him sink anyway 🥺.
But what I’m talking about is pressing on through the bs, through the opposition, and through the resistance. No matter what form it comes in.
Cause when you do, press on through, it’s not that life isn’t hard any more, you just build that hard muscle and that heavy weight starts to feel lighter. Life in itself, is a work out. Pick your weights and exercise.
Battling cervical cancer was my opposition and it triggered in me a greater resistance toward my aspirations, my hopes for a future, and even a future with my son. I went from one of the most motivated and ambitious, to one of the most depressing and antagonistic human beings.
Then I look over to The Maker’s Diet book that I put aside on my nightstand across the room and never started (I had looked at the food limitations listed and said, “F*** this, this is too hard- I can’t eat anything I want, I’m better off dying eating what I want”).
The book was a recommendation that my flight passenger showed me after telling me how she outlived and overcame stage four tumor cancer (when doctors were saying she wouldn’t make it), on my way to Italy (for my 25th birthday), and this was a month before I found out I even had anything.
I finally pick up the book and start reading (a year later after finding my condition was worsening), cause I had this appifany that I would maybe inspire someone in my situation one day and that I would want that person to live, to flourish, and prosper, especially my son.
After the imperfect discipline of implementing the three phases of the Maker’s Diet, I retest, and my results come back.
(Note that one out of every three people have HPV, according to 2016 medical statistics, and it is the leading cause of cervical cancer for women- clinically incurable.)
Right in my face, printed on a VA letter (Veteran Administration) from the VA Hospital.
Negative.
Let me remind you, that before these results, before stepping up and reading through the Maker’s Diet, I was ready to die. I was overwhelmed with being a new single mom, the responsibilities of requiring more time and another income, the aftermath of serving deployment in the U.S. Army, and the social pressures of living up to the expectations of my dreams in the entertainment business as a singer and actress.
My cousins stop showing up, my friends get busy, and no one was emotionally or mentally available to cheer me on. Just me and my little baby, who by nature knew that I was his source of survival.
I then realize that the outcome of my choices were never dependent on the approval of the ones I love most. They have their own problems. It is my responsibility to be here for my son, by first being here for myself. Honestly, this is something I’m still learning how to do- cause I don’t live with just myself anymore.
Tired of feeling so damn sorry for myself, I just couldn’t stand feeling sorry for myself anymore. I started thinking about how many people in the world might actually feel alone, isolated, for their own reasons, who may be wondering if there’s anything else worth doing with their lives.
Well, I’m here to tell you. I’m sure you can find something. ♥️
Atleast, listen to my song and share it with someone who needs it:
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