healing
How to heal fully and properly.
A Dragon & A Girl
PART 1 I tell myself this will be short & simple, but I am only ever one of those things. Nothing I say, think or feel is ever simple. It’s all or nothing with me, which is maybe a fault of mine, but it is who I am anyway. I could say it’s wrong, but I’m not convinced that’s right.
By Alysha Whitted6 years ago in Motivation
Being homeless
In life I always heard the saying “disaster can strike at any moment”. I never really knew what it meant until the one day disaster took my whole life and turned it upside down. My parents took us out to eat dinner and when we got home we were shocked by a scene that looked like it had come straight out of a horror movie. Police cars covered the entire street and it wasn’t until we got out of the car that we realized what had happened. Broken glass filled our driveway, our door was wide open, and we could see our possessions scattered throughout the driveway. We had been the unfortunate victims of a home invasion. Weeks went by and though we knew it was a big deal, my siblings and I were not concerned that this would escalate. For the next three months, even though my parents tried to hide it, we could tell something was wrong. They were struggling to make ends meet and our lives were different but we still had hope that the situation would turn around and we would be back to living our old life in no time. Finally, month four came and my parents were late on rent for the fourth time. The landlord hadn’t been so lenient because she said it was becoming a habit. The next day we were served with a three-day notice. We spent the next few days moving all of our stuff behind our next-door neighbor’s house. He was a pastor and told my parents that he had no problem helping us because we could not afford to rent a storage unit. He even gave us money to stay in a motel room for two nights. Little did we know, this was just the beginning. We were homeless and we had to accept it no matter how much we didn’t want to. For two months we were completely on our own with no family, nowhere to sleep except the car and just enough money to provide us with meals every day. One day my mom got sick of seeing us like that and she asked for help. We didn’t know it, but we were about to meet a bunch of people that didn’t want to judge but wanted to help. Organizations like homeless coalitions and the amazing people that worked for them helped us with shelter each night. One day we met an amazing group of Christians who opened up their church house to us and allowed us to stay there for a month. We decided to drive to our old house and bring what was left of our belongings back with us because we needed more clothes and personals. When we got there we were met with a very disturbing sight. Our bags of clothes and shoes were ruined due to frequent thunderstorms and were then full of flies, maggots, and other bugs as well as mold and an extremely bad smell. We were able to salvage about 5 bags of clothing and the rest was hauled off to the dump. We reached out to more programs and they were able to give us clothes, shoes, money for food and gas, and hope that things would turn around. Seeing how hard everyone worked to make sure we were okay and that they had a genuine love for us is what kept us going every day. There were times where we would feel like giving up and a member of the church would pray over the phone with us and let us know that we would make it through. Over the course of the year 2019, we had somewhere around twenty-five to thirty programs helping to get us off of the street and we were able to meet so many people that were in the same situation as us and had been for way longer than us. Even though we didn’t have much, we gave what we could to somebody that was lower than us and had nothing at all. A few people would question how we could give away and we barely had enough ourselves and it was because over the course of those six months we had come into contact with some marvelous people and they showed us that if you are able to help someone you should because you never know how much your blessing means to someone. There were so many moments where it looked like no progress was being made at all. Numerous folks would help us find houses or apartment complexes and we would eventually end up getting denied. Even if we felt like the efforts were hopeless, we had an amazing team standing behind us and telling us to keep going. They were so motivational and understanding of our situation. After four more months of searching the day, we were all so hopeful would come, finally came. An apartment complex called my mom on a Saturday morning and we couldn’t hear the conversation but we saw tears streaming down her face. “Just another disappointment,” we all thought but when she hung the phone up she said four words that sent chills down my spine and tears to my eyes. “We found a place” was all she had told us before we were up and running around the motel room packing our belongings in bags and throwing them in the car. The entire way over I was too emotional to actually know what was going on. When we pulled into the complex a representative from the homeless coalition had been sitting in the parking lot crying. When she saw us she ran to hug my mom and said “I told you, I told you. Give it to God and he will work it out.” It amazed me to know that her, along with many other amazing individuals, had never given up hope and cared about us so much. Never once did we think that this world was filled with such amazing people. Once we were in the apartment, programs like food pantries, goodwills, thrift shops and even members from a few churches gave what they could. Within a week of us being in our new apartment, we had new furniture, clothes, shoes, food, and extra money in our pockets. I remember the first day we stepped into our house. We all stood around talking about how unreal everything felt. At one point all of us sat together and cried because it felt that unbelievable. Not only were we grateful for a place to call our own, but we were grateful that even when we felt like it was the only option, we never gave up. Day after day for a year, my family and I were faced with troubling situations. Some we never thought we would make it out of. Through it all, we realized one thing, that the world is filled with great people and all it takes is motivation to join those great people. Whether you pray with someone who’s struggling or provide a person with enough money to get a room and a meal, it only takes a small deed to give someone enough hope to keep going. I picked up on habits like donating my clothes instead of throwing them away, speaking up about something I can help with if someone is asking, and making it my business to help anyone in need even if it’s just sitting and listening to what they have to say. My heart goes out to the many people who took time out of their workdays and even came and helped us on their days off. Growing up I took life for granted and looking back I realize how bad that was. Being homeless taught me that you don’t need expensive shoes and clothes to be a respectable person in society, you just need to have a good heart and a desire to help. For so long I was afraid to tell anyone what I went through, but now I embrace it. I was homeless, I saw what it was like to live in a car and not know where my next meal was going to come from some nights, and I experienced scary situations that kids shouldn’t have to go through but if you ask me I’ll tell you it was all worth it. I say this because I learned a lesson from it. I learned that nothing in life, besides life and death, are promised to us. So I’ve learned to live life and never take anything I have, even though it isn’t much, for granted because it can be gone in the blink of an eye.
By Eliza Crawford6 years ago in Motivation
Stup!d G!rls
Growing up I didn’t feel like myself. I felt these unrealistic expectations to be someone I wasn’t. I had to be white. I hated my curly hair because when it was curly it was too short and I felt ugly because my ears stuck out. I had all these emotions about not wanting to be who I was. Because of the world we all live in. I felt like I had to be white in order to get ahead in life, and that’s the truth. It’s been the truth forever. Growing up I dressed goth, and at times I felt like I couldn’t be dressing this way... only white people dress this way. So even though I felt like myself dressing in all black wearing chains and dark circles around my eyes. At the same time I felt out of place. Everywhere I went I got stares and it made me feel like they were starring at me because I wasn’t white and I shouldn’t be dressing this way. What made it even worse was school. People always asking me why I dress like that, asking me do I worship the devil. A lot of people are so small minded. Because I didn’t worship the devil at all, I was a believer in extra terrestrials. I swear I am so tired of the world being so small minded. There are so many unbelievable things in this world and the only thing people want to worry about is money, electronics, clothes and sex. Worrying about wether you have more and look better than the person you stand next to. Growing up my mother dressed me in pink, I had Barbie dolls and baby dolls, I was spoiled. And that was part of the problem. I thought I had to look like those Barbie dolls, I wanted too. But it wasn’t me. Barbie dolls give young girls these unrealistic expectations that this is what they should look like. And with the majority of Barbie dolls being white it made young girls who weren’t white feel like they should be. You have to be light, you have to have strainght hair, you can’t eat, you have to be boney, you have to put on makeup, you have to dress this way and look this way. This is not the message you should be sending. We should be teaching young girls to be strong, and independent. We were not born just to have babies and clean up after our husbands and children. We should be teaching them that they can do whatever they want, be whatever they want. Now I’m not saying that all parents do this. Some parents have a brain to teach their girls that they can be strong. Put down the makeup and pick up a football. Put down the phones and pick up a book. Tell them I want you to be more. I want you to be intelligent, strong, independent, caring. To be your best self. Now that I am older, and having more knowledge about all these things... I love myself, I love my curls, and I know that my style does not belong to just one race. I can be who I am with confidence. I can listen to my rock music and ignore the voices of people telling me I shouldn’t be listening to that because it’s the devils music. It’s not that I ever wanted to be white, because I didn’t... I just wanted to be who I was without feeling like I had to be white in order to have the confidence to be who I am because I felt like that’s what the world wanted me to be. You can be whoever you want to be and don’t let anyone tell you different or put you down because once you do, you have given them power over you and that’s when they can do whatever they want to you. Stay strong.
By GH0zTx6 years ago in Motivation
Happiness is About Moments
It is hard growing up without parents, but I believe it is worse when you have parents, and they do not care about what happened to you or your siblings. Careless people with no heart, no conscience, no feelings, selfish people only care about them. Leaving kids around with no care in the world allows them to be abused, mistreated, and killed. How can you be a happy person? People ask. I ask myself the same question plenty of times. For a long time, I did not answer, but I did have a lot of unanswered questions. A lot of doubt about myself, my sanity, my personality, how I act, how I speak, and the way I look. I grow up with so many insecurities, trust issues, depression, etc. My whole life was about questioning myself. What I did wrong? Why my parents did not care about my siblings or me? Why is my brother dead? So many questions, so much pain. Today, almost forty years old. After battling with myself, with two divorces, with the memories of war against cancer.
By Norma Crenna6 years ago in Motivation
Cycles
It’s been a while since the last blog post I've written....A lot of things have happened in my life in the last 9 months and to try and round them all up sounds a bit mad in and of itself so I think I’m just going to leave the details out and sum things up thematically over the next few weeks/posts.
By Ayaan Abdullahi6 years ago in Motivation
I Found My Voice Again
My name is Chontell Lucas. 5 years ago I was involved in a life altering accident. Before the accident I was a singer, teacher, and advocate for Sarcoidosis. My mother passed away from Sarcoidosis in the year of 2012. I was completely devestated. I had 2 choices to live or to die with depression. I chose to live. My life was finally purpose driven. I founded and organization in honor of my mother and Sarcoidosis Advocacy. Sparkle Nation, LLC. derived from pain that I turned into purpose! This organization stands for shining your life in the face of adversity. When people see your light, it’s definitely contagious. Life was good, my music career was taking off tremendously after the release of my first single. My entire life was music. I believe I came singing out of the womb. The origin of my name means “to sing.” Well, this accident didn’t take my life, but it definitely tried to deminish all hope. This accident or incident changed the trajectory of my life. I suffered 10 broken ribs, my lungs collapsed, tracheotomy, 2 fractures in my neck, concussion, and I was on life support with a minimum chance of survival. The doctors let my family know that if I lived, I would never speak again, or sing. God proved them wrong. I’m alive today, and I’m speaking. Although the instruments that were used to save my life has altered my vocal chords. I’m still able to speak, but very low. Here’s what no one knows. I literally thought my life was over before I started therapy. I didn’t know what I would do with myself, because I didn’t think God could really use me beyond my singing abilities. Boy, He he proved me wrong. Singing was just the vehicle used for a short while to lead me to my destiny. The physical pain was excruciating, but the emotional pain was just as intense. My hope was diminishing and I was holding on on with my faith for dear life. My mom is gone, now the very instrument that I use to bring me peace, and to give God glory is gone. What is there left to do? Why am I here? My therapist told me in my first session, “You are more than your singing ability.” That phrase changed the trajectory of my life. I began to act like I was more, thus producing more. Today, I have 13 Empowerment Pageant Franchises for girls, A mentor program, and a plus size online boutique. I’m also the former Ms. South Carolina Plus America 2016. I firmly believe that life is more than breathing, it’s the motion of growth, learning, and truly becoming what you were created for. I’ve won several awards on my pageant journey: The Miss Community Service Award, The Director’s Award, People’s Choice Award, Ms. Congeniality Award, and Talent Award. I had the opportunity to travel to Dallas, Texas to participate in the Miss Plus America Pageant System, where I received The Smile Award for Positive Social Media Influence and Best Overall Interview Score. In addition I was crowned Ms. Yellow Jessamine Plus America 2017. During this particular reign, I received several awards and placed 4th in the National Plus America Pageant System.
By Chontell Lucas6 years ago in Motivation
Life Without Suffering Isn’t a Good Thing
Pain and suffering is the key to all windows, without it, there is no way of life.” -Angelina Jolie The young boy opened his hands for the doctor, revealing the burns his mother insisted were a result of picking up hot coals. Shaking his head, the doctor thought, “There’s no way any human would voluntarily hold a burning coal long enough to give third-degree burns like this.” The black, oozing sores had to be a result of child abuse, but the woman shakes her head, “No, we call him Sin Dolor- the painless one.”
By Anna klawitter6 years ago in Motivation
Growth
This was taken about 5 years ago, and how much I have changed physically and mentally!! I didn’t even know how much until I realised that I started to censor myself in order to avoid conflict or just avoid looking like an idiot- I never use to care about stuff like that.
By Aj6 years ago in Motivation
