Start Fresh

For 29 years I walked this planet without taking a single second to check in with myself. I filled my days with distractions and exhausted my mind chasing materialism and validation. I lied, cheated and hurt people. I don’t remember doing these things on purpose or from a place of malice, but there was also no attempt to stop. Life was always about my needs and my desires, but last year that all changed.

2020 forced me to go within and think about the way I was living my life. It made me come to terms with the narcissistic behaviour I’d shown, and made me re-evaluate the compassion I had for not only my fellow human, but for all living things. I was compelled to face up to my demons and counter them with love instead of suppression, and this conscious healing has lead to the brightest days of my life.

We grow up conditioned by thoughts, judgements and behavioral patterns that were never our own. We unconsciously pick up toxic traits and carelessly project them onto the people we meet. For years I’d been snowboarding down a deeply entrenched path that was so deep I believed it to be the only way. Sometimes it’s just easier to follow the set of tracks laid out in-front of you, however I’ve found that if you’re tracking someone else’s footprints you rarely look up and enjoy the view. It’s not until your mountain is shaken and the snow is smoothed over that you realize you can create your own path.

Trauma whether emotional or physical is painful, but the pain leads to healing and healing leads to growth. This rebuilding process is exhausting but know that it’s worth it, and there are people and resources that can help, but first we have to be willing help ourselves.

This lockdown we're in conjures up the image of the caterpillar. It evolves from lacklustre larva into a beautiful butterfly, and begins an entirely new life with a higher perspective. The time we take to go inward is us growing our wings and developing our true colors. So welcome this process because it signifies the beginning of a new life.

We have to deal with the blockages in our lives by facing them head-on. A daunting task that requires strength, discipline and self-awareness. However this work results in new insights about ourselves, and a newly developed emotional intelligence more in-tune with our core beliefs. We can sit for years and complain about how bad we’ve had it, or we can take action today to create a healthier future, for ourselves and for everyone we come in contact with. The change starts from within.

My resolutions for a happier, healthier life:

• Quiet your mind. Listen to the thoughts that operate behind the noise, and tune into what it is you really want.

• Recognize don’t react. Catch yourself when triggered by something and rise above the emotion. Think about why that person or situation got under your skin. Everything has a root cause and all can be healed.

• Lead with love & compassion. Love everyone and everything despite conceived flaws.

• Speak your truth. Don’t lie and watch how your world changes.

• Help others in need. Even if it’s as simple as a smile, you never know what someone else is going through.

• Be conscious about what you consume. Whether it’s food, television, music or the company you keep. Align yourself with things that raise the vibration of the earth instead of diminish and destroy it.

• Express yourself. Do the things that make your soul smile. Any type of creative expression serves as meditation that allows us to get lost in our art.

• Do one thing every day that contributes to your goals. Small wins compound. Don’t shame yourself for not figuring it all out instantly. The fact that you’re identifying the shadows in your life is a huge step that you should be proud of.

• Re-connect with nature. Appreciate and respect it. We are all one.

I’m thankful for 2020 as it brought with it the lessons I needed to grow. Soon I’ll emerge from my cocoon and spread my new wings with one mission, add to the beauty of this earth. I will continue to work everyday to become a better person and do my best to lend a helping hand wherever I can. I know there will always be ups and downs, but having awareness of the valleys will help me appreciate the mountain tops. I’m not satisfied with resting in peace, I’m gonna live in it too.