She's The Plan

She chose herself --- and damn, it was fun !

I always thought that being single was the worst thing that could ever happen to me until I had a break up and faced the phrase of single life. If I exclude the part of missing my former boyfriend and some romance in life, I would say that being single is awesome.

I made a lot of friends and reconnected with a lot of people. I had time for myself and the things I loved to do. I had a lot of time to spare for my new goals and dreams. I felt so free that I need not tell anyone about my whereabouts or the reason for going out with certain people. I need not worry about the partner's whereabouts either. Everyday I plan something new and exciting for myself, that can be a hobby or meeting my friends. My fear of having being left alone turned into loving my own company.

I no longer think of anyone's feelings before doing something. I have made this strong bond with myself and prioritise my own wellbeing before everyone else. When I am unhappy, I have this strange certainty in me that the next moment I might start dancing or smiling. There is no one to add to my misery. Well, also no one to make me happy but I AM ENOUGH. I have my beloved friends by my side but it is to be understood that at the end of the day, it is just me and myself.

I no more fear my partner's withdrawal or being unfaithful. I have faced my fears already. I do not live in constant insecurity that my partner might forget me in certain season or might stop loving me or hurt my feelings. Insecurity and expectations are the two swords that pierce your heart if not kept in control. It might kill you, making you a living cadaver.

I feel like I have a lot of space in my life to fill with positive feelings and love. I am willing to grow into those empty spaces. I want to be more than just one thing. I want to learn as many things as I can. Anything that grabs my attention, I want to learn it.

There is this one valuable lesson that I learnt - "external factors serve only temporary happiness on your plate". The real happiness generates from within you. Our soul is actually very happy and joyful by default, it is us who make the worries and bring out stress and get so consumed that we forget to be happy. My story was that I thought events and people make me happy so I always expected for some kind of external factors to give me the happiness I wished for and when my expectations were not met, I would overthink and make myself miserable unintentionally. It was because of my faulty believe system until self help books peeped into my life. I took refuge in alcohol for being happy but trust me on this, it might make you happy when you are consuming it but the next day when you wake up, and when you and your hangover talks, you feel the worst. Alcohol lowers your vibration. It gives you the illusion of happiness, not real contentment.

It is normal to miss the cute life that I had with my former boyfriend but without that slap from life, I wouldn't have learnt my lessons. I trusted the divine forces and it gifted me the most precious thing : mental peace. It is an art in believing the unseen. But you have to be wise with your life.

There is another thing I learned.....if you don't know how to love yourself then no one will love you. Give yourself the things that you expect from others. Do all those things for yourself that you want others to do and see how life turns out to be. Be your own love of your life. Learn to be alone, it is an art and it gives you the solace that you so long for. Focus all your energies on yourself and see how people become attracted to you. Wear your confidence. Stress not about the things that is out of your hands. I believe in the concept of "SLOW BUT STEADY". You cannot become your highest self or a millionaire overnight. Your goals require constant and steady efforts. Never compare your progress with others, they too worked every single day to reach where they are now. Never sympathise with yourself.

Be the WARRIOR, not the princess of your story.