Relationships

Ok! I just wanted to put my opinion out there about relationships, I realized that I have never had a successful relationships to the point that I really feel that I am not relationship material, I have never been loved all I know is pain and hurt. In fact the only play I seem to attract is married men that just want to have something on the side and I truly don't want a married man because he has already showed me his true colors.

I am not a dumb person and I cannot accept a cheater, Why would I want someone that is not faithful to his spouse? See I am collateral damage at the end of the day I am the one that has no respect for myself. I was told a long time ago that , I would never get married again not unless God sent the man that I need in my life and I really never had a committed relationship. I was told by a medium that I would never get married: but I did get married ( I thought back and said ha she was wrong) I was only married for 8 years and that was the most toxic relationship and plus he cheated with my family member, I realized that the marriage wasn't suppose to happened, but that was me trying to prove the medium wrong but she was ultimately correct because I never experienced true love and I never had a faithful man that was willing to fight for me. I deserve to have a healthy and happy relationship.

Ok! I am not willing to get dragged through the mud just to say that I am in a relationship, I refuse to be unhappy and unhappiness is the focal point in my life because of the decisions that I made to try to maintain unhealthy relationships. I am 100% single because I now I see the real person and not what they try to display lets say I see the wolf underneath that sheep's clothing. No matter how hard they try I can see the shadiness, deceitfulness, and truly not a good person and when I call those red flags out I tend to get cursed out and told I am making a big mistake, and I am just angry and bitter.

You see by being disrespected by stating your opinion I know that I made the correct choice not to pursue those relationships. I have to tell you that Monica a musical artist broke it down in her song Commitment. " It don't take much, a little affection and some of your time, that's all I'm asking for feels like this dream will never come true I just want somebody who knows how to listen, and give me attention, who won't break my heart he has to have good intentions, I ain't hard to please, I don't need a lot just show me that you care" and she goes on to say " Can you be there when I need you most? And when I say I don't? make me feel secure forever".

This is not much to ask and until I find that type of commitment I will be single. So ladies once you find out that you don't have to settle being alone is not a bad thing and when that person comes along and he is offering you Commitment and he loves you unconditionally and he raises you up and give you the respect and love you deserve that's a good man, if he takes your most intimate moments and bring information up that you trusted to tell him RUN!!!!!! that's a red flag.

I am just not really understanding why do people get into relationships just to cheat ( not everyone is a cheater) stay single. When are we going to take the power back and stop accepting anything that a man throws at you; remember love does not hurt, it's not abusive, it doesn't disrespect you, love is enduring, love is a breath of fresh air, love is asking you how your day was, love lifts you up. I see so many tv show that women are being disrespected and then they say but I love him that's a broken woman. I will be the first to say that I never had love, I was always disrespected and many times I got ghosted no explanation just gone in the wind. I use to say I didn't get any closure; the closure was him leaving and once I realized that I stop crying, I will never ever let a man have that type of power over me again.

I was treated wrong, I cried many days and nights until I realized I dodged many bullets that's why I always wear my bullet proof vest. I am just realizing who I am and what I want in life. I will no longer settle because society have you believing that you have to get married to be happy, I am happy for those that are married happily, but for me I might be alone for the rest of my days and I am fine with that, if love real love presents it self than am all in but for now I will continue my journey with loving myself first and doing what's best for me.