Rebirth

The Fall

Three entities engulfed his body, taking turns like a spiritual brothel. Later realising these are the demons that represent his past, present and sovereign. The representations of what he had come to understand were his imbalanced archetypes, but also the guides to his true purpose.

Let us start this story at the beginning where a once wannabe entrepreneur was opening, what he thought was going to be his big break, his best idea yet, the one that would work! And so, it all starts with the failure of this projected purpose. The collapse of what he wanted people to see him as because all his life what mattered most was what people thought of him.

The business eventually left him in what he was to believe was 100s of 1000s of pounds in debt. The collapse led to failures in other areas of life with his partner and two children who needed a man and a father in their lives, but instead the vacant spot was a shell of a soul who regularly broke down and struggled to breath in fits of anxiety. Eventually build ups of tension and lack of communication rose between his partner and he as fiery words spat across a love laden battlefield.

One specific argument led to him rushing to the car to try and breath but finding himself struggling to catch any life breath as the world around him started to spin and disgruntled roars bellowed from his being.

Desperation

An irrational mind convinced him to believe that people would be better off without him as continuations from the business’s failure haunted him in the forms of bailiffs knocked the door to scare a response, and letters falling through the letterbox of the once safe door of their home, and to top it all he found himself with no regular income to keep any of it at bay.

In belief that no one would be able to help or listen to what he had to say, and knowing he provided no benefit to those around him he entered a building, in which his other failing business was held, with no intention of walking back out.

With a cliché pen in hand and paper ready for last words the sudden arrival of another anxiety attack halted his actions, collapsing him in a pile of fatigue with the thoughts of cowardice at the precipice of his mind accompanied by a voice ‘Your Family need you! Whatever you choose people will think things about you, but their views, just like you would sooner or later be forgotten!’ And with that, what was once a belief that ‘they’re better off without me and this is the only option’ became a swelling of connection to my family and a small inkling that maybe what others thought didn’t matter too much, prompting him to search for answers. First one being what was that voice!

Shift

In time the notion of caring about what people thought began to fade little as the journey inward began to engulf his life. A regular practice of intuitive meditations, breathwork and stoic practices followed, opening him to new experiences beyond explanation and his analytically logical mind.

Many practices later his journey guides him to sit with a Shaman. Not realising that this ceremony would finally fulfil his previous intentions. This night he would die.

After many ancient methods of breathwork, soul retrieval and other shamanic practices he breaks through into infinite chaos, he finds himself battling with lineal time as a concept, and loops through endless lifetimes, rebirths, deaths and suffering not fully understanding the dimensional shifting, all of which felt like eternity.

His consciousness breaks off into many shattered fragments and the primary focus of the mind centres on a battle with three demons. Each of which gave names and had very specific characteristics.

One was very proud, he ruled, and he raged himself to the forefront of consciousness, he was powerful and owned the body and there was nothing anyone could do about it as he fed on hot coals and fire it portrayed itself as a molten coal beast.

One needed to know everything, it was constantly searching for answers, jealous of anyone who knew more or was further than he in anyway. He whispered, asked, and intellectualised every experience taking away any allowance or acceptance of the moment. He contorted like dark smoke in the air blocking access to intuition.

The third was lazy, slothful, and wanted to abuse anything to try to satisfy its insatiable need for consumption of any and all pleasures. Portraying as a yellowy green obese and unwell looking gargoyle he only cared for himself and what he could get.

The battles raged for lifetimes until the exhaustion of the loops made the man succumb to the reality of their existence. In acceptance of them and by showing each of them love in the way that each of them needed their powers subsided and their intentions satisfied bringing balance to the internal conflicts.

Birth

Finally, I came face to face with stillness, peace, and love. I found myself connected with source, infinite consciousness, universal-energy, Aum-Shakti, Rei-ki the force of many names in many tongues, none of which truly translate its infinite existence and it was there that everything and nothing made sense and I found meaning and purpose in my journey through meaningful connection with my family through ceremony.

After a while and a few intuitive moments, I came to realise these Demons were nothing more than my imbalanced archetypes, chakras, and energies projecting in a way for me to understand and love my perceptive darker side.

These ‘demons’ now look and act very different and guide me as strong balanced archetypes down my path of constant discovery and guidance of others. Showing me elements that resonates with my purpose of facilitating safe space and healing through shamanic principles, alchemy, and stoic practices. I now Guide people towards a place of empowerment, discovering life pleasure, happiness, and purpose!

Thank you for your time reading this, and I hope you find something useful in the words!

If you feel drawn to, or resonate with these words do pledge so I can continue to write and work towards guiding others on the more difficult shifts in their reality! Thanks again! :-D

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