Poe 'Vices

Dear Poe,

I recently broke up with my girlfriend after five years. I feel lost, like I don’t know who I am anymore without her. I’ve tried journaling, hiking, even therapy they tell you to do at grad college, but nothing’s working. What do I do?

– Hollow in Halifax

Poe-plies:

HI.

OKAY. LISTEN.

I too be dumped once…

By THE SUN. Barsteward.

Left me cold. Colds like chicken from fridge. Outina dark toos.

BUT I RAN. FAST. Into bathroom.

Screamed at tap. Barstwerd. Bit the towel.

Youz got FIGHT.

Journals??? No. No. MY Fwend. NO!

JUMP on the TABLE and DEMANDS the LOVES.

or like… maybe biteS it?mAYbe.

Yeah. Bite it goods. Barsteward.

An' You needs do some jumpins.

An' Lick somethins mamma say no lickin's.

THEN.

Eat.

The CHICKENS.

LoveS and Poes AND sTUFFS x

PS You like my 'Vices. You thin' good 'vices then uz can buy mez the chicken. Like fank you chickens. Ok? Bye

PSS: Wait. Chickens for mez Here:

🍗 Buy Poes (mez) a Chickens. Pleez

PPSP: I forgots. Also. You have problems? Tell mez about it at my emails an' i HELPS YOU TOO! I fiXES IT!

[email protected]

OK. BYE.

cHICKENS. bE.

PPSSP: aLSO here in da comments. You can tells me anythinks yoz want. I gives you good 'vices

UZ wELCOME

Mez Poe x 🍗

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About Mez (Poe)

Mah Catdentials

HI, HIS I’Z POES. I SCREAMS. I BITES. 'ICKLE BIT. ONLY 'ICKLE BIT BITES. I LOVE CHICKEN. I HATE NOT-CHICKENS. I RUNS FAST. I THINKS LOUD. I LICK PLASTIC FOR TRUTH. GIVE ME FRIDGES. LOVE ME. WAIT—NO. WAIT. YES. LOVE CHICKENS. – Poe x

PS Chickens

HI.

HELLO.

OKAY LISTEN—

OH MY GOD-shit a-duck-egg- IS THAT CHICKEN?!

No—wait. It’s just the chickin shedlight. Sorry.

…I LOVE THE chickin shed LIGHT. The fridge light.

Ahhh

The Messiy-ah.

What? You wanting somethings?

Oh. Me. Yeah right. You got chickens?

Meh. You sucks.

Meh.

Me.Hmmm

So yeah. Hi. I’m der Poe. Like the raven guy. Well, the writer, penner dud'man. But he dead. Dead as a quill. I caught tha' one. But tha' anova story for 'nover time. Not dis time. Next times. Maybes?

I not dead tho

Not dead. Yet.

Me 'live. Like wires and thunder. Lives.

Ha

I’z black likes Crows. I’z fast like leo-pard. And I’z LOUD...Like, em. Mama she says likes fog horns but I thinks like lions. King of der jungles. S'me. Raaar.

I was born hungarey and I wills die dr'maticarelly—possibly mid-meow, probably in the catchen. Who Iz kiddin's. I gone die mid-chicken. I seenzs it.

I live with twos old dogery cats, they thinks they thinks they like like, allgrown or whatevs but thez just olds.

Akela, she a b**, meh mamma says I canz says stuff like thats coz I 'ickle. But I know 'ickle. I BIG. Big like 'anther. I 'ANTHER. Meh. She lives in de box and talks like she’s from some soap opera from befores the paper be existings. I gives her times coz she olds.

Mowgli- he thinks he posh and smart and alls thats but I see hims. I seen hims. Lemme tell youz he be licking his butts on the rug just likes the rest of us 'elines. I seen it I seen it he licks his butts! Mamma says hez gots a stars butt but don't looks know differen' to my butts. I checkid it. No differn's. He jus' a butt.

I loves screamings and tha'.

Sometimes I screams coz the chickin' shed be opens.

Sometimes I scream because the chickin shed don't be open.

Sometimes I scream because… I… I forgot. But. I screams :)

I screams therefores.

I IZ.

I HAVE The THOUGHTS. Lots of dems. Thoughts I means. And I has a mantra. Wanna see?

Looks 👀

-Chickin be love.

-Chicken be life.

-The floor is be lava, 'less it has de crumbsis.

-If you stare into the void, the void will offer snacks. Hi snacks. Iz Mez.-Poe underland

Mamma says I’z “a lot.”

But what she dunna understand me. I iz a lot but not allot like she saysis it.

I am emotions. I am velocities. I am the echo of a scream inside a cupboard. And I dos stuff toos. Lots of stuffs.

Likesis:

1. Running. Just… running. Coz.
2. Biting the air. It be toughs. Basteward.
3. Licking things that definitely aren’t food but might be spiritually food. Gorra finds outs, rights? rights?
4. Climbin' curtains like they insulted my ancestors. Coz theys probablys dids. More bastewrds.
5. Sitting on the laptop coz iz warm and I iz cold. De end
6. Also: I have never once completed a thought. I leaves them 'round the house like tiny emotional landmines. You’re welcome mama. Nuggets.

Anyways I love you.

Wait. No.

WAIT.

I hearts CHICKENs.

OKAY BYE.

No.

Wait.

Ok bye.

Give me chicken

- Poe x

PS Chickens