People Don`t Give A Fuck

We spend alot of time and energy passing judgment on ourselves, getting anxious, and assuming what everyone else might be thinking about us.

But why? When no one gives a fuck.

That may sound harsh, but it’s a good thing, and you shouldn't either.

I mean by this that the people we are concerned about thinking about us probably aren’t. And if they are, they are probably just as concerned about what your impression of them is going to be.

I started to notice that I had a pretty bad habit of building up in my head, assumptions, worries, what other people say on the bus or maybe in a waiting room were thinking of me. This habit isn’t something that I would conscious of either. And I’m also not even close to being alone in doing this.

Let me give you an example.

Taking the bus to get around, I spend alot of time on and waiting for them, people watching. When I am on a full bus or at a crowded stop, I noticed that pretty much everyone is avoiding not even just eye contact, but they’re avoiding any interaction. Everyone is mentally calculating where it is socially appropriate to let your eyes land without someone thinking you’re staring at them, or worse, mistaking your vacant gaze for an invite to communication. In most situations, If someone is in the direction that I have to look, I notice they get very uncomfortable. They start looking nervously back and forth at you, mentally assuming all of the judgments they think you’re passing when really, you’re wondering where the hell your bus is.

People tend to believe they have a sign advertising their baggage, that we automatically only see the worst parts of them. Oh, they`re looking at me. They probably think that I’m (insert insecurity here). When in reality, we’ve got better things to be giving a fuck about, rather than judging you and building themselves a life story for you.

Yes, people judge and make assumptions based on how you present yourself, that is the point of a first impression, and we don’t get to choose how other people see us. The beautiful thing about this is though what people think of us is none of our damn business. I love/hate this fact. I hate it because I tend to care to know what people think of me, but it’s also freeing in the fact that it doesn’t fucking matter.

Most of the people you encounter you will never have to know about, deal with or act on these thoughts of you. You can’t change and don’t need to defend them, and you’ll probably never get the chance to, anyway.

For most of the people you see in a day, your impression of them will only last as long as the current interaction.

Once this habit was officially a thing of the past, it was honestly a little liberating. After all, every interaction with someone starts with them seeing you in one way or another, and at the end of the day, they will still decide how they see you; it’s just how it is.

And if they ARE staring? So what stare back ;)