No one is obligated to like you

No one is obligated to like you

That's right, folks. You have heard it here first: No one is obligated to like you.

Let that sink in for a minute.

It stings, doesn't it?

It's alright if it does, because it means that you are 'human.' To be "human" means to be a part of something; to have an identity that defines 'who you are.'

Humans crave acceptance from other human beings. This stems from our very basic need for survival. After all, humans descended from tribes. The key to early human survival was to be included (and accepted) into a social group. Failure to achieve this could have dire consequences for an individual. Their very access to shelter, food, and physical safety could be put at risk.

Yet, we are living in the year 2025. We [humans] have ascended from hunter gatherers, congregating in cold, isolated caves, we are 'modern.' We live in concrete structures. We drive vehicles with a rear-view camera, blind spot monitoring, and Apple CarPlay.

Which is not to say that our biological programming has been altered since the origins of our species. In fact, it hasn't. Our current psychological state of function is directly liked to our past conditioning.

Smart phones and social media cannot simply short circuit long-standing evolutionary psychology. We are mentally "pre-programmed" for a reason: survival.

While reproduction and survival are always the primary drivers of any species, social acceptance plays a substantial role in determining both our survivability, as well as the quality of human life.

One needs to look no further than the predominance of social media, in modern human society. In fact, social media has become a significant modern tool in reinforcing one's concept of social acceptance. While it can be a useful device for retaining and maintaining social inclusion and cohesion, oftentimes, social media can negatively affect one's psychological state, exacerbating mental health issues like anxiety and depression.

So, in an existence where human acceptance is incredibly vital; and in an era, where technology has only exacerbated this 'need,' how does one properly function when they may feel deprived of the necessary amount of social approval?

The answer: self-love.

More accurately stated, self-acceptance.

When one fully embraces who they are, and accepts themselves unconditionally with no caveats, then they have truly stepped into a new understanding of their relationship with others and to the rest of the world.

When one truly accepts ALL of themselves, not just bits and pieces, in essence they are aligning with their natural state of being. They have reconnected with their true humanely nature.

One realizes the undeniable truth of their existence: They are a being of abundant worth and value, regardless of any circumstance, internal or external.

Their value is not measured by the zeros in their bank account, or the length of their friends list on Instagram. There exists nothing in this world to measure their worth, because they are already worthy. Their value is in inherent in themselves; it is not obtained through outside means.

Which brings us all back to the original point of this article: no one is obligated to like you.

Why?

Well, for starters, all humans possess the ability to perform acts of free will, when it comes to how they choose to function in their life. The ability to choose freely ensures that individuals have the choice to view and judge others based on their own personal beliefs (and preferences).

It is deeper than that.

If one values themselves unconditionally, then the label(s) that others place on them are meaningless. The amount of 'value' another person sees in you is of no consequence to you. In other words, whether someone likes you or not is trivial.

The only truth that matters is the truth of how you view yourself.

It's uneventful then if a person doesn't like you. Why?

You love yourself!

Loving yourself is the ONLY logical way to function in this life.

No other human being is obligated to feel the same way about you, as you feel about yourself.

Remember that pesky 'free will thing?' Yep, it's that again.

The only relationship that carries any substance is the relationship you have with yourself.

Maintain a healthy relationship with oneself is critical to maintaining a positive relationship with others.

When you truly, unconditionally love yourself, the opinions and judgments of others bare no consequence to your mental welfare.

In fact, possessing a healthy love of oneself inevitably protects one from any harmful emotions, that others may direct towards you.

Consider a theory proposed by noted author, column syndicalist and psychological counselor Linda Arnold:

• 25% of people will like you no matter what

• 25% of people will like you, but may be persuaded not to

• 25% of people will not like you, but may be persuaded to

• 25% of people will not like you no matter what

In essence, of all the thousands (potentially) people that you will encounter throughout your entire life, a quarter of them will like you; a quarter of them will dislike you; and the other fifty percent may or may not like you.

Those are some daunting odds!

However, one should not feel discouraged that (potentially) half or more the people one will meet in their entire life span will not like you.

Although it may seem quite depressing to have others not like and appreciate you, you have no control of how others view you.

Let me say that again because it is significant for one's own self-esteem and self-image of themselves: You have no control of how others view you.

How others view you is a consequence of their own internal mental and emotional conditioning.

The psychological process of forming "like" and "dislikes" is incredibly complex, stemming from a whole plethora of different factors, built-up and molded through countless years of living life.

In fact, there are SO MANY different emotional, psychological, cultural, and other factors that come together to form a person's view of others, one could argue that it is a nearly impossible to have any type of control, in influencing how another person will positively or negatively evaluate and judge you.

So why try?

Isn't it incredibly easier to just learn to accept yourself, rather than to hustle to make others like you?

THEY will like you if they want to like you; it's not the other way around.

It makes much more sense to fully accept yourself, and to venture out into the world with this sturdy psychological foundation.

You are in a way better position to enjoy life, and to enjoy the experiences you have with others.

Remember: Life is good.

You are good.

You are perfect just the way you are.