My Mind Matters to me

I am about to have my 57th hospital admission at my local private hospital and am 44 years old. I have had more operations than years on this earth and live in controlled chaos, surviving enormous adversity across EVERY facet of my life. I have spent most of my adult life proving that a positive mindset and consciously choosing to adapt and evolve have given me the drive and determination to keep going.

I have endured more than most people believe appropriate for open discussion. However, I know by owning my painful past and wearing my scars as the badges of honour they are, I am referring to all of my scars = as physical, mental, emotional & spiritual, having given me more than it has taken away.

I continually learn and grow; I keep a mindset that to live is to evolve, to evolve is to endure, and to endure is a responsibility that I take seriously. It allows me to pass on what I can to help as many people as possible in every way I can contribute to THE HIGHEST GOOD OF ALL INVOLVED AT ALL TIMES.

I live with severe chronic nerve pain encompassing over 60% of my entire body; I have many degenerative diseases. I was diagnosed with pain-related depression 9.5 years ago and again three years ago, requiring admittance into a psychiatric facility both times. Two years ago, I was diagnosed with multiple PTSD from a long list of "traumatic" events in my life, including a few that were only unearthed during a series of regression therapy sessions. Those repressed traumatic events & their associated memories directly correlate to several toxic relationships and toxic people I have surrounded myself with (both consciously & subconsciously) and have allowed to stay in my life whilst cutting other far healthier people out.

What I know for sure is that I have always been able to make almost every person I meet love, fear, respect or hate me with ease. I have been highly successful in business whilst juggling chronic illness, domestic violence, children with diseases, and traumatic events. I have been accused more times than I can count of being complex, aggressive, judgemental, hypocritical and discriminatory. I have been praised for being inspirational, approachable, compassionate, considerate, kind and, my favourite, fun!

I have written a whole lot anonymously to help me heal. I doubt I will ever take ownership of those posts because they each served their purpose of allowing me to vent, to rage, to comfortably sit in each of my many roles, including victim, victor, carer, mother, daughter, sister, observer, critic, enabler, enquirer, concerned bystander, employer, employee, accusor as well as accused, etc.

I know now that the world needs to heal in every way imaginable across every language, age, continent, society, religion, social structure and environment.

So many UNCOMFORTABLE topics need to be discussed openly, with empathy, compassion, acceptance, understanding and the singular view of facilitating positive change in every arena, across every medium, affecting as many past, present and future citizens of this world and its collective consciousness.

For the first time, I am asking the question; PLEASE TELL ME what you think and how you feel after reading this brief introduction and looking into my eyes in the above photo (which is three years old & about eight hair colours ago). My name is GG Graham, and I will be sharing much more moving forward with my name and face attached to everything I do, whether it is via the written word or social media.

My intentions are pure; I do want to help, I am now willing and able to do it publicly, and I believe that right now, the modern healthcare system is advancing in leaps & bounds; however, it needs more empathy, compassion, acceptance, tolerance and streamlined processes giving all nurses far more support, respect and ongoing PAID training.