Life on Furlough

Hello friend!

How are you? How have you been in those days I left you without writing?

I missed you, sorry for not coming back earlier. I was just.... I didn't manage the time really well to write to you.

Things are going great! I finished one of the courses I was taking (the funniest one ahah), I am half way through the other one (it's way more boring, but still useful), I published my video on youtube finally (I procrastinated for loooong), I filmed the audition and I am really close to finally publishing my business! I have been productive, mate!

I am proud of myself and my mood is way better now, I feel ok and happy, no more anxiety and panic. I keep studying, I keep writing and I still have to film a few things, which is good.

I love filming, but I don't know why the preparation holds me back. The thought of doing my makeup, preparing the camera, dressing up and preparing the light makes me feel so lazy.. I don't know why. I always thought it was the thought of failure, you know? When you are at the beginning of some sort of journey, nobody knows you and you won't have so many visualizations, but if you never start then you will never have one. Being at the beginning is more emotionally difficult than the actual difficulties you can find working on it. You have to be mentally stable and strong to be patient and work hard on every detail of your project. Starting something new is not that easy, it will never be, but if it is something that you like it's so much fun!

I truly believe in "follow your passion and you will never work a day in your life". That's why I keep going. I am 22 years old, I want to reach my thirties with a career I like and my life settled, so it's important that I work hard now. And I also love my passion! I love acting! That is what I am living for, the only place in the world where I can be and nobody will judge me. Or, they will, because as a famous actress everyone will have an opinion about EVERYTHING I do in my life, but they will judge my characters most of the time and when they will judge my life, they will do it from an ignorant and blind perspective, which I don’t really care about.

I am so ready to work and be famous! It’s always been my dream. Not the fame specifically, but that will be a consequence of being a successful actress that does three films per year. At this point, I have the life I want and I deserve. That’s why I was born, that’s why I exist.

I wasn’t used to thinking of myself as someone destined to great things, but I am and now I see it. Living in London really helped me on that, if you live in London and you stay at the same level of the city, you perish ahah. I am building my future and my life in the way I want it and nobody will take that from me. Every mistake and success will be mine, because I worked hard for it and nobody else. That is the sweetest feeling ever!

I am happy I wrote to you again, it’s lovely talking to you. You help me a lot by reorganising my thoughts and refreshening my energy. Thank you so much.

I see you tomorrow my friend,

Love, G.