Life Is but a Series of Decisions
My reality is a culmination of past decisions
I’m not an anxious person, but bouts of anxiety have been seizing my insides lately. It began in the wee hours before a heavy rainfall. By mid-morning my bedroom was flooded. I moved things off the floor and heaved my dresser onto my bed to prevent water damage, all the while madly proclaiming ‘life is happening for me and not to me’ repeatedly in my head. Fortunately, I had a lunch date. When I returned, the water had receded.
While the water very slowly evaporates, I sleep on one half of my bed while the drawer takes the other half. My comforter is pinned underneath it, so I’m sleeping under half a comforter too. My desk is crammed with things. The dryer has gone kaput, and my wet laundry is draped all over the place. The windows seem permanently fogged and streaked with condensation. Mold has begun to creep along the sill. It’s chaos.
There are many things that could be triggering the anxiety: intuition, chaotic environment, impending move, mold.
The fact that my reality is of my own creation had already been slowly dawning on me, and that is also anxiety-inducing. The weather is out of my control, but heavy rainfalls in the past have caused flooding in the lesser-inhabited parts of this house, like the laundry room. It was only a matter of time before the flood waters reached me.
Human society has decreed floods an act of God.
I made the decision to stay. I’m faced with the same questions now as I was then. Do I move to a place that will inevitably be less affordable and possibly out in the boondocks? Or do I put up with my living situation? Heavy rainfalls don’t happen every weekend.
That’s all life, or reality, really is, a series of the decisions I’ve made. Even situations seemingly out of my control that influence or shake up my reality, on a fundamental level, I still made a decision. Deciding to not do anything is a decision. I am the one who decides to stay, take action, do nothing, or put something off to a more convenient moment.
Resisting making a decision or opting for the comfort zone are decisions based in fear.
I am the primary decision-maker for my life, and my reality is a reflection of the decisions I’ve made. My present moment is a culmination of decisions I've made in present moments past. All we have is the present moment, and we can let it pass by or we can exploit it to its fullest potential.
Others can also influence my decisions, and my present reality may not be completely of my own making. I must only point the finger at myself, rather than someone else, because only then can I take full responsibility for my life and get back in control. I am the one who will live this life till the end.
I think about my ideal life, and the version of me that is living it. All that I want is around me waiting to be yanked into reality through my decision-making powers. The thing is, I don’t know what to choose. I don’t know what I want.
If I don’t know what I truly want right now, then decision-making becomes difficult. I tell myself I want love, but am I ready for love to show up tomorrow? Or am I a bit hesitant towards love because I want my reality to look different than the one I’m currently experiencing before love comes and therefore on a subconscious level I’m blocking it? In order for me to make the decisions that will get me the reality I desire, I need to know what I want first.
Rather than mull, I sit in meditation to feel.
Now as I move about the chaos, I think about that girl who always shows up in my imaginings. The girl who is the best version of me and living her best life. What would she do? I ask myself this each time I’m faced with a decision, no matter how big or small. I ask ‘what would she do?’ when I get dressed, make my meals, go grocery shopping, and even when I’m procrastinating. Before every single thing I do, I ask myself what would that girl do? I am already her, I just have to make the decisions and choices she would make.
I don’t need to have it all figured out in this moment. I just evaluate whether or not the decision I’ve made is rooted in fear with the understanding that I may have to step outside of my comfort zone, and I take it one decision at a time.
About the Creator
Neelam Sharma
Been on a spiritual ride for awhile, and these are my takeaways
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From the earliest memories I can recall, life presented me with two roads. One was smooth, inviting, and well-trodden—a path that promised comfort, approval, and ease. The other was rough, rocky, and uncertain—a path of struggle, obstacles, and lessons that demanded effort, patience, and resilience. I never chose the smooth road. I never took shortcuts. Not because I was fearless, but because something deep inside refused to let me live a life that wasn’t earned. The easy path whispered promises of fleeting satisfaction, fleeting success, and fleeting recognition. It was tempting. Many around me chose it, and I often wondered if I was foolish for ignoring it. But I learned early that true growth is rarely convenient. The easiest choice often leads to emptiness, to regret, to a quiet knowing that you could have been more than you allowed yourself to be. Hardship became my teacher long before success ever noticed me. The lessons it offered were harsh, uncompromising, and often lonely. 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It grows quietly, in the moments no one sees—the early mornings, the long nights, the repeated failures, the times you push forward when giving up would be understandable. Resilience is not simply surviving; it is deliberately choosing to continue, to stand again, to pursue the path that tests you the most. It is knowing that walking away is easier but will never lead to the person you are capable of becoming. I have walked many hard roads in life. Each one was different, yet the lessons were the same: comfort cannot teach endurance, shortcuts cannot teach discipline, and fleeting success cannot teach respect. Every struggle, no matter how small, adds to your character. Every failure is a mirror that shows you who you really are. And every choice to face hardship instead of fleeing builds a foundation that lasts long after temporary victories fade. There were times when I felt truly alone. People around me often misunderstood my choices. 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Comments (7)
Flooding is devastating and SCARY! Beautifully written story, I loved it. Congrats on Top Story! 🎉
Neelam, you’ve shown incredible strength through your story. It’s a heartfelt journey of facing chaos head-on and discovering yourself along the way. The way you’ve embraced decision-making and used your ideal self as a guide is inspiring—it’s a beautiful reminder that even in tough times, we have the power to shape our reality one choice at a time. ([email protected])
🎉 Congratulations on hitting Top Story on Vocal! 🏆 Your hard work and creativity truly shine through, and it’s so well-deserved! 🌟 Keep up the amazing storytelling—this is just the beginning of even more success! 🎈📖🙌
Congrats on Top Story on Vocal! "Life is But a Series of Decisions." I wanted to capture how our choices shape our paths and how even the small, seemingly insignificant decisions can have lasting impacts. Life’s journey really is about the twists and turns that each choice brings.
Very relatable! Sorry about the flooding. That in itself is a nightmare. And I really loved the insight of this line: -All we have is the present moment, and we can let it pass by or we can exploit it to it’s fullest potential.- Well said! And congrats on your, TS!
wow every bit of this, has great knowledge and insight well done and congrats👌
Ohh! You truly a brave girl ✨Neelam. Your story captures a poignant journey through chaos and self-discovery. You faces unexpected challenges, like flooding and anxiety, while realizing that life is a reflection of the choices we make. By asking, "What would my ideal self do?" they navigate uncertainty with courage and intention, embracing the power of decision-making. Ultimately, it’s a heartfelt reminder that even in the midst of chaos, we can shape our reality and step into our best selves, one choice at a time.