Keep Your Life In Your Hands

We live in a fast-paced world, where everyone waits for 'further instruction'. We are so used to being 'told' what to do that we forget that we have a brain of our own and a life that is ours. Some find themselves ‘trapped’ in a certain situation believing there is no way out of it because another person is ‘controlling’ him or her. Some are raised in a certain way (faith, culture, etc.) and this ‘controls’ them for the rest of their lives. Whilst it is good to be guided, it is not right to be so ‘controlled’ that you find you cannot even think any other way. It is important to ‘think for ourselves’!

In the past, certain ways of living have been expected. For example, it was ‘expected’ that girls would grow up to get married and have children and that ‘should’ be their lives. Boys were expected to grow up and take over the family business, or go into certain careers, to ‘take charge’. School used to teach by rote with the class copying everything they were taught, and from school, certain jobs were ‘expected’ to be taken by boys or girls — boys went into accounting, medicine, etc, girls went into domestic service as maids, sewing clothes or as above, getting married and becoming a mother.

There is nothing wrong with any of this. Becoming a mother is one of the most beautiful and precious ‘lives’ a woman can have. Becoming a bank manager is rewarding for the young man who has worked every hour. However, today, we no longer live by these ‘rules’.

Out of interest, the Renaissance heralded a shift in thought that brought to the fore individualism and personal power or empowerment. Descartes mentioned the importance of individual reason over established doctrines, and that individuals can and should shape their own destinies. (A little deep but interesting).

“Self-Agency” is another way of saying a person has control over their own thoughts and actions and life. They understand that they have a responsibility to direct their lives in the right direction, and to do what they want to do. He or she becomes proactive and not just reactive, taking a lead in his or her own individual life. This is a good way of embracing our strengths and accepting our weaknesses, growing and becoming resilient in our everyday lives.

It is true, we are ‘raised’ a certain way, teaching us how to act and what we ‘should’ be doing and this is good guidance so that we go in the right direction. However, there is nothing wrong with, after learning all of this, “choosing” what path we want to take and how we want to live. Even when living with others, (mum and dad, or family, or even friends), we can still be our own individual selves without offending anyone. If our family and friends really love us, they will accept us anyway.

This is so good for our Mental Health, something which everyone is becoming more aware of these days. Instead of being locked inside ourselves, ‘obeying’ a certain way of living, we can be free mentally to accept who we are and how we want to live. We recognise our ability to influence our own way of thinking and thus, our own actions. It is interesting that many who are depressed and have anxiety problems, very often admit that they feel they have no control over their lives and what they do, possibly not realising that they can take back that control at any time of their lives — it is very often the way we are brought up.

Unseen challenges can seem like we have lost control, for a short while. For example, I ended up in Intensive Care in hospital, very ill, for nine days wired up to a machine that helped me breathe. This came out of the blue and I was totally stunned when I came round, even after the doctor explained everything to me. For a short while, my mind was closed and I had no thoughts apart from: “I want to feel better and go home.” Such a simple thing! Thanks to the expert attention of the doctors and nurses, I’m still here today and I will never be able to thank them enough. It took me months, not just to get better but to ‘unlock’ my mind and go in the direction I wanted to go in. Thankfully, I have a kind husband, understanding family and amazing friends — yes, I am lucky. I was still able to ‘take back my life’ and am a happy, busy wife today.

The world around us is slowly changing into an ‘individual’ world, where the future generation will know the beauty of freedom of mind, and they will have the ability to do what they want to do and live how they want to live.

They and us must always remember: “our lives are in our hands.”

(Note: I have used AI for the first time but only for the 'ideas', all of the words are my own, the experience is true, and I have enjoyed writing this, thankyou for reading.)