It’s All a Matter of Perspective

Perception, like possession, is nine-tenths of the law—three simple questions to help you reframe your thinking.

I was talking with my sister-in-law about the power of perception, and the fact that our perception quite simply becomes our reality. We all believe that we live in a real world, a world that is based in reality, and yet the reality is that we all live in a world of perception, of perspectives, each of them different. Mine, yours, your family's, the perspectives of person next to you, the perspectives of the person you work with. All of us have a slightly different perspective. Our perception of what is going on becomes our reality. Perception, like possession, is nine-tenths of the law. If we perceive it to be true, it will be true. It quite simply becomes our reality. Having learnt this, I have been able to use a very simple technique to help me to change my perception, and in changing my perception, changing my reality, and that is what I want to share with you.

Learning to change my perception

I first learnt this when I was working at Sage. I was Head of Sales for the UK. It was a fairly big job, and I was going through a real period of self-doubt. I was really struggling with my inner imposter. My imposter syndrome was at its height, and I was scarily fighting for control. I went to my coach, and spoke to them about how I was feeling and that I was struggling with an overwhelming sense that I wasn’t enough—that I wasn’t a good leader, that I wasn’t good enough.

They asked me a few questions that really made me think. The first was, "Why do you feel like that?" I thought about it, and I couldn’t think of anything; I just knew that was how I felt. I couldn’t explain it; it was just how I felt. They asked me another question: "What facts are there to support you perception?" It was a difficult question, so I gave it more thought and I couldn’t think of any. They asked me, "What facts are there that disprove your perspective? That maybe make it not true?" Again, I gave it some thought, and I couldn’t think of anything. So, he gave me his three facts:

1. I had just been made "Leader of the Year."
2. I had the most engaged team—My employee survey had just come back, and I had the highest score in the company. In fact, the score was above the five-year aspiration for the company.
3. I had just hit my third consecutive quarter of double-digit growth.

When faced with his three facts, I found myself struggling to not agree with his perspective, and not to make that my reality. And so I did, and I chose his perspective.

Three simple questions to help you reframe

1. Why do I feel like that?
2. What facts are there to support my perception?
3. What facts are there that disprove my perspective? That maybe make it not completely true?

By asking these three questions you are able to, first, understand how and why you feel as you do. You build on this with any facts or evidence that support your current thinking—This is where we usually stop, as we are almost predisposed to only look for the evidence to support our thinking. We are a culture that makes decisions on emotion, and then look for facts to quantify our choices. By asking the final question, we push ourselves to see a full picture, our view and any opposing view, and in doing so, we open ourselves up to different perspectives.

The results can change your world

So now, when I find myself really struggling, really facing that self-doubt, I ask myself the same three questions. Why do I feel like that? What facts are there to support that perspective? And, what facts are there that disprove that perspective? In those three questions, I can find my reality, and I can find my new perspective, which enables me to move forward positively and achieve my goals.

If you have found this useful, and want to hear more about my journey and how it can help you gain confidence to overcome your imposter syndrome and tame your inner beast, you might like to join me at:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/351903022417849/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCnx5nzFFd4aRG3q-WwSl1gw?view_as=subscriber