If love feels more like walking on eggshells than walking hand-in-hand, you might be dating a narcissist

Falling in love can be magical. But when the person you’re falling for turns out to be a narcissist, that magic can quickly turn into confusion, self-doubt, and emotional exhaustion. Narcissists are often charming at first, but their behavior soon reveals control, manipulation, and a deep lack of empathy. The tricky part? They’re often masters at hiding their true selves. Let’s unpack how to spot the signs early - before your sense of self gets tangled in their web.

They crave constant admiration.

At the beginning of a relationship with a narcissist, you might feel like the center of their universe. They shower you with praise, grand gestures, and attention - it’s called “love bombing.” But what they’re really doing is setting the stage to keep your admiration flowing in their direction. Over time, you may notice they expect constant validation and become cold or irritated when they’re not the center of attention.

Narcissists depend on praise and admiration to prop up their fragile egos.

They lack genuine empathy.

Empathy is the foundation of any loving relationship, but narcissists often pretend to care rather than truly feel what you’re going through. When you’re upset, they may brush it off, blame you for overreacting, or turn the conversation back to themselves. Over time, you may start feeling emotionally neglected or unseen, even when you’re vulnerable and open. They might be able to mimic concern, but it’s not rooted in genuine connection.

Narcissists can fake empathy, but their actions eventually reveal emotional detachment.

They make everything about them.

Conversations with narcissists often follow a predictable pattern: no matter what you bring up, it ends up being about them. Whether you’re discussing your dreams or a bad day, they either one-up your story or steer the conversation toward their needs. This isn’t just annoying - it’s a sign they prioritize their experience over yours. Over time, it can feel like your voice is shrinking in a relationship that should feel like an equal partnership.

Narcissists dominate conversations to reinforce their importance.

They subtly undermine your confidence.

One of the most painful parts of dating a narcissist is how they chip away at your self-esteem. They may offer backhanded compliments, compare you to others, or act indifferent to your achievements. These tactics are often subtle, but over time they erode your confidence and increase your dependence on their approval. The goal is to keep you second-guessing yourself so you stay easier to control.

Narcissists use subtle tactics to weaken your self-worth and maintain power.

They never take responsibility.

If something goes wrong in the relationship, a narcissist rarely owns up to it. Instead, they shift blame, deny what happened, or gaslight you into thinking it’s your fault. You might find yourself apologizing constantly or feeling confused about what’s real. This can lead to emotional exhaustion and self-doubt, especially when you start questioning your own memory.

Narcissists deflect responsibility and rewrite reality to avoid accountability.

Their love feels conditional.

At first, a narcissist’s love may feel intense and consuming. But over time, you’ll notice it comes with strings attached. They’re affectionate when you’re doing what they want, and distant or cold when you assert your independence or question their behavior. Love should be unconditional - but with a narcissist, it often feels like a reward you have to earn.

Narcissistic love is transactional, not unconditional.

They isolate you from others.

Narcissists often try to separate you from the people who love and support you. They might criticize your friends, pick fights with your family, or guilt-trip you for spending time away from them. At first, it can seem like they just want you all to themselves - but this is a form of control. The more isolated you become, the more dependent you are on them for emotional support.

Isolation is a common tactic narcissists use to increase control over your life.

You feel drained instead of uplifted.

Healthy love makes you feel safe, supported, and energized. If being with someone consistently leaves you feeling anxious, unsure, or emotionally worn out, it’s worth taking a closer look. Narcissistic relationships are often filled with highs and lows that feel emotionally chaotic. Over time, you may notice you’re more tired, less confident, and even depressed.

A relationship with a narcissist drains your emotional and mental energy.

You’re constantly trying to fix things.

In relationships with narcissists, the emotional labor often falls entirely on you. You may find yourself walking on eggshells, trying to “communicate better,” or excusing their behavior in the name of love. But love shouldn’t require you to abandon yourself to make it work. If you’re always fixing the relationship while they do nothing to grow, you’re carrying more than your share.

Narcissistic relationships often rely on your effort while they avoid self-reflection.

In conclusion, spotting a narcissist in a relationship isn’t always easy, especially when love clouds our judgment. But the signs are there - craving admiration, lacking empathy, dodging accountability, and controlling through subtle manipulation. The most important thing is to trust how the relationship feels in your body and heart. Love shouldn’t leave you confused, exhausted, or doubting your worth.

Real love nurtures your spirit; narcissistic love drains it. Trust yourself enough to walk away when you feel the difference.