How to Try New Things When You're Scared of Failing or Looking Silly
Gentle encouragement for stepping out of comfort zones in a trama-safe way
Trying something new can feel exciting but for many people, it’s also terrifying. The fear of failing, being judged, or looking silly can stop you before you even begin. And if you have trauma, a history of being criticized, or grew up in an environment where mistakes weren’t safe, trying new things can feel emotionally dangerous.
But here’s the truth: your desire to explore something new is a sign of aliveness. It’s your inner child tugging at your sleeve saying, “Can we try this?” It’s your deeper self whispering, “There might be something beautiful here.”
Let’s explore how to gently, safely, and compassionately try new things even when fear is loud.
Why Trying Something New Feels Scary
Fear doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means your nervous system is trying to protect you.
There are real reasons you hesitate:
1. Fear of Failure
Maybe mistakes led to punishment, ridicule, or shame growing up. So now, your brain tries to avoid anything unfamiliar.
2. Fear of Looking Silly
If you were criticized for being different or told to “be perfect,” your inner child might still be protecting you from humiliation.
3. Fear of Wasting Time or Energy
Burnout, trauma, or chronic stress can make anything new feel overwhelming or risky.
4. Fear of Disappointment
Sometimes we’re afraid to want something because wanting creates vulnerability.
The good news is: none of these fears mean you can’t try new things. They just mean you need a gentle, supportive approach.
Step 1: Start With Permission, Not Pressure
Give yourself permission to be a beginner.
You don’t need to be good at something to enjoy it. You don’t need to turn a hobby into a job. You don’t need to master anything.
Tell yourself:
- “I’m allowed to be new at this.”
- “I don’t have to impress anyone.”
- “Trying is already a victory.”
Trying something new is a form of self-care, not a test.
Step 2: Regulate Before You Begin
If your body feels unsafe, your mind won’t explore.
Before trying something new, take 1–2 minutes to ground yourself:
- Place your hand on your heart
- Take 3 deep belly breaths
- Say softly: “It’s safe to try.”
- Notice the floor beneath your feet
Your nervous system needs reassurance before your curiosity can blossom.
Step 3: Start Micro-Small
You don’t need to sign up for a full class, buy all the supplies, or go all in.
Start tiny:
- Watch a YouTube video on the activity
- Try it for 5 minutes at home
- Do one small version, not the whole thing
- Try it once, not every day
Instead of “I’m going to learn painting,” try: “Today, I’m going to doodle for 2 minutes.”
Instead of “I’m going to learn guitar,” try: “I’m going to hold the guitar and strum 3 chords.”
Small steps feel safe and safety builds confidence.
Step 4: Bring Curiosity Instead of Judgment
Instead of thinking:
- “I’ll probably be bad at this.”
Try:
- “I wonder what this will feel like.”
- “What if this is fun?”
- “What might I discover about myself?”
Curiosity is the opposite of fear. It opens the door for exploration instead of performance.
Step 5: Let Yourself Look Silly
Being silly is actually good for your nervous system. It helps break perfectionism, softens anxiety, and awakens joy.
You’re allowed to:
- Laugh at yourself kindly
- Make mistakes
- Look awkward or uncoordinated
- Be imperfect and still worthy
If your inner child never got to play freely, this is your chance to give them what they missed.
Step 6: Ask the Right Questions After Trying Something New
Instead of asking:
- “Was I good at it?”
- “Did I look stupid?”
Ask:
- “Did this bring me joy?”
- “Did this feel interesting or soothing?”
- “Would I like to try this again?”
- “What did I learn about myself?”
Your worth has nothing to do with performance.
Step 7: Try With a Safe Person (If You Want To)
If trying something alone feels overwhelming, invite someone who is:
- Supportive
- Non-judgmental
- Patient
- Gentle
Or join a group where everyone is a beginner. Like a beginner’s yoga class, art workshop, or intro hobby course.
Being around other beginners takes the pressure off.
Step 8: Know When to Pause
Trying new things should feel exciting or gently challenging, not traumatic.
Pause if you feel:
- Overwhelmed
- Panicky
- Numb
- Dissociated
- Like you’re forcing yourself
You can return later. Your safety matters more than progress.
Final Thoughts: You Don’t Need to Be Fearless to Begin
Trying new things isn’t about being fearless, it’s about choosing small bravery while still feeling afraid.
You’re allowed to go slowly.
You’re allowed to explore gently.
You’re allowed to play.
You’re allowed to rediscover joy.
Every time you try something new, you tell your nervous system:
“The world is safer than I thought.”
“I’m capable of more than I believed.”
“I deserve to experience new things.”
And that is healing.
That is courage.
That is transformation.
About the Creator
Stacy Faulk
Warrior princess vibes with a cup of coffee in one hand and a ukulele in the other. I'm a writer, geeky nerd, language lover, and yarn crafter who finds magic in simple joys like books, video games, and music. kofi.com/kiofirespinner
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