How does the mental healing start?

Before I describe the moment you will know your healing process starts, I will tell you a bit about myself.

I was born in a relatively unstable family, which looked pretty normal if you were looking from the outside, but then life happened, and it got worse and worse. I grew up confused, deeply sad and it looked like nothing worked my way. I was struggling in all areas of life, family, relationship, career, all you can think of. I had no idea what planet I was living on and what purpose I had. Despite the misfortune, anxiety, depression and other things going into my past life, I always had a huge amount of curiosity and hunger for self-improvement. I don't know why I was attracted by that and I don't remember when exactly it started, and probably you don't know the reason behind your search either, but you are looking for answers.

The moment you know your healing has started has probably passed a while ago. The first step is to look for answers somewhere else. You are not happy anymore with what it's given to you. You start to question everything around yourself and you feel you cannot move further if you don't take action right now. That is your innerself telling you it is tired of the toxicity you surround yourself with and something needs to change, and fast.

At the beggining of the pandemic I felt like everything was too much for me. I was alone with my thoughts for far too long and I just couldn't manage them anymore. I couldn't hide myself from them, nor hide them from others in any way. That was the moment I decided to take my healing further and step out of my comfort zone.

The first sign that your healing has started is simply having second thoughts about certain things. For example, you tell your best friend a huge secret about yourself and he or she goes on telling someone else. You would have thought it was normal, because you have seen it happening before, to you or to someone else, so sharing your secrets to the world is normal, although it makes you feel guilty and ashamed. The voice inside you irritates you so much, you cannot contain it. The voice is the healthy adult who wants to get to the surface and say "THAT'S ENOUGH!"

The second sign is that you admit to yourself you need help, real help. Self-improvement books do not fill that void anymore, nor they feel like they could guide you to your desired outcome. I had my moment when I knew, in my heart, that my healing process couldn't go further if I was the only one driving that car, because it felt like it was going nowhere. I told myself "You either ask for help and guidance, or you will be stuck here, forever, while everyone is moving on." The thought of being left behind scared me.

Next thing you do is trying to open up about everything that went wrong in your life and try to figure things out with a professional who is there to guide you, but it feels so unnatural to talk about yourself, when no one ever attentively listened to you. It is hard, building trust takes time, and it is such an alien feeling. It took me from several months to couple of years to trust people, but on my way to my answers, I have changed my ways from "I won't tell anyone anything about myself so I don't get hurt" to "I choose to offer to different people different levels of trust, because it is my right and my choice to make." It was so empowering. For the first time I felt uncomfortable, but in a good way.

To be able to heal from the past and grow stronger as a healthy adult, it is essential to inspect the trauma, and understand it.

I will drop a short story of my journey to healing myself from the trauma every week. Please stay tuned for tricks I have learned, facts and truths we tend to ignore.

If you liked the article a littel help would be greatly appreciated.

Stay tuned with your innerself.