He Loves Pain More Than He Love Me!

“You are leaving me?” Carl Mattis questioned Deana as she packed her suitcase.

“No, I am packing to leave pain,” she answered, throwing the last pieces of her clothing in the larger suitcase.

“What did I do?” He demands easing towards her.

She grabbed a heavy glass vase off the nearby dresser and demanded, “Don’t come any closer.”

Carl stepped back away from her in shock and pleaded, “You know I would never hurt you.”

“You have for the past eighteen months we have been together,” she informs him, replacing the vase.

“Tell me how I have been hurting you, and I will stop,” he proposes.

Deana shoved her suitcases to the door, opened it, shoved them towards it with her right foot, then explained, “You love pain more than you love me.”

Carl hollowed in laughter. She grabbed her suitcase and began to exit when he rushed over to her. The look she gave him halted his steps, and he backed away, both hands raised in the air. Then asked, “How do I love pain more than you?”

“Every mistake you make that adds extra suffering to our relationship and your life is repeated over and over. You add more torment to my life than love.”

“So, I made a couple of mistakes, doesn’t everyone?”

“Most of your mistakes were repeated, no matter the cost to you, me, your health, life, my sanity, and our relationship. I pay with you because I am in love with you. But you are more in love with torment than with me.”

“How the hell am I in love with pain?”

Deana sighed, nodding, then explained after resting her suitcase at her feet at the door frame, and sending her rage back deep within her, “When I have a headache, I find its cause, take the necessary precautions, then don’t repeat its causes. As a female, I have menstrual agony. I find ways to minimize it or keep it at bay. I am allergic to certain foods, scents, and materials. I find ways to keep hell away. You don’t. You add pain and hell to your life, taking no precautions to keep them and their agony away. You keep repeating everything in your life that brings pain.”

“And that tells you I am in love with it?” he asked in confusion.

“Smart, sensible people hold on to what they love. And avoid what they hate. I am sorry, but I hate pain. Goodbye.”

Carl stared after her in shock as the truth attacked his internal organs, ripping his heart apart.

“But pain is part of our lives,” he defends.

Deana slowly eased around, then educated with a smile, “The necessary ones are. Because pain is a message our bodies are sending to us to teach us something. Your actions, choices, and decisions send them in heaps to you, and you don’t listen. You add unnecessary and unhealthy pain to our relationship and lives.”

“So, pain is your teacher?” he asked.

“Damn right it is!” she snaps back.

“So, pain teaches you to run away from me?” he teases.

She slowly eased closer to him, touched his cheek, and shared, “It teaches me common sense. Your pain is a result of how you live. That kind of unnecessary pain, no one with sense will accommodate. Sensible humans don’t add pain to their lives unnecessarily.”

“So, you are saying I have no sense.”

“How you live and the decisions that you made told me. How you live speaks louder than anything you can say,” Deana said, then turned and walked away.

Now, he realized why his relationships weren’t working. He wasn’t learning from his mistakes. He wasn’t aware that she paid for his mistakes, too.

I agree with Deana, sensible humans avoid what they hate and hold on to what they love. In every relationship, your spouse helps to pay for your mistakes. I don’t like pain, so I learn from my mistakes and strive not to repeat them, thereby causing no harm to anyone.

Pain is my teacher. I listen to it and don’t add it unnecessay to my life. Annelise Lords