Goodbye 2020… Hello 2021!

Okay, I’m dead certain that everyone will celebrate with me that this Professor Umbridge of a year (2020) is finally gone! Last year was a tough one, yes, but if we dwell on the past then we will forget about the future and all of the advantages it holds. So, I’m going to give you some advice on the best way to move forward from last year!

Well, if there’s one thing I’ve learnt from last year, it’s how to move on and stop dwelling. In order to understand why I move on the way I do you have to understand exactly what my life was like as a fourteen/fifteen-year-old girl in year nine. Being a fourteen/fifteen-year-old girl is hard enough without five other things happening in her life that changed how she thought, felt and saw herself in many different ways and now I’m going to tell you about them and how I delt with them.

First is Covid-19:

We all can relate to Covid-19 but let me tell you what it was like for me. Covid-19 really hit my life in March where my school had to go into online learning for 3 months. During these 3 months I, had to sit assessments, homework and general class work through a computer which would regularly crash on the school website as there were too many people on it. I also had to do dance classes through online learning. But the best way I found how to deal with this was to think what you’re going through is much better than a lot of other people, and that you’re lucky. So, each day I, woke up and wrote a new positive message to help me through the day and made it an effort to contact at least one of my friends or family members to see how they’re going. I’ll admit it was extremally hard to keep this up every day but I’m glad I, did and before I knew it, I was back at school and everything was back to somewhat normal.

Unfortunately, this was until the sixteenth of the June when my whole world changed…

Second is my grandpa dying:

Now I know a lot of people had the loose of a family member or more because of Covid-19 but my Grandpa didn’t die from Covid… he died from lung cancer spreading to his brain. Grandpa was diagnosed three years ago; this means I, should have prepared for his death a lot sooner than I did but after each year with him diagnosed and still alive I let my hopes get the best of me. This was until he fell in the shower and went to the hospital. When he went into the hospital, they did some tests to fine the reason for when he fell in the shower and found out that the cancer had spread to his brain. I went to see him after I got all the news on Friday, and he was back to his normal goofy self and so I let myself have a small amount of hope that he would be okay… until I went and saw him again on Sunday and he couldn’t see, hear, or register that I was even in the room which really hit me. On are way out my Dad told me that the doctors said that he is probably going to die at some point this week and that this was the last time I was probably going to see him. Of course, being me, I didn’t believe him until the sixteenth of June, that Wednesday was when my whole life changed as my Dad walked into my Mum’s house in tears and just nodded. You see after me and my Dad left on Sunday, we made a deal that no matter where I was or what I was doing, he would come and tell me that Grandpa had passed away. So, when I saw my dad on Wednesday night, I knew Grandpa had passed away. So really the only advice I can give you to help with the loose of a family member is to keep the people that love you close and not push them away and talk to them, let everything that you feel out because it helps, more than you could understand.

Now, at this point in time I’ve gone through Covid and my grandpa dying, so ask yourself… what more could I possibly go through? Well, let me answer that for you!

Third is my dad losing his job:

Now losing your job is also a big consequence of Covid-19 but my Dad lost his Job at the exact same time my Grandpa died. So, my Dad had many things happing in his life and being honest I didn’t appreciate how well my dad delt with everything until now. This I, delt with by talking to my Psychologist and getting advised on what to do. The advice she gave me was not to worry about it and try and focused on myself not my father and so I listened and now my Dad is as happy as he can be in a new job and getting paid well. Sometimes the best thing to do in a situation is ask for advice and just maybe the perfect answer will be given to you.

Now I know that relationships have a 50/50 chance of lasting and an even less chance when you’re a teenager, but this is the story of my worst relationship!

Forth is my abusive ex-boyfriend:

Yes, I know what you’re thinking! Why is a fourteen-year-old girl dating someone well I’ll have you know that’s what my parents’ exact thought was when they found out… five months after we started dating. Now if I’m going to tell this story right, we need to go back to the day we meet… end of year eight. We meet in the school library doing a puzzle the school brought for everyone to do. Since that day ex-boyfriend and I started to hangout almost every day despite my friends warning me that I was just going to get hurt.

Soon it was next year, and we stayed in contact. About half-way through the term, we started to date, and it was really sweet and normal (despite the fact that I wasn’t allowed to date till I turned 16), until we went into online learning at school which is when I started to see a side of him that I didn’t like and wasn’t ready for, so I broke up with him thinking that was the end of it… but unfortunately, I was wrong and before I knew it, we were going back to school, and were dating. Not long after did the relationship turned into something that was extremely uncomfortable for me, becoming worse and worse as time went on. Until I started to distance myself from everyone at a notable rate because I blamed them for not knowing but, how could they? It’s not like I told them what was happening to me!

But in term three week three everything changed! My parents found out as they always do, doesn’t matter how long or how they just do! So, I explained everything to my parents and much to my surprise they helped me through it. My life changed in at a significant rate over the next five weeks… My Mum contacted the school to say that I wouldn’t be returning there for a while, I was locked in my own house for five weeks and was to do online learning during the time I was not at school. I also, went to many Psychology sessions, Hypnotherapy sessions and changed my hair colour, attuited and clothing choice because every time I looked at myself in the mirror, I was reminded of him… While all this happened, my parents worked with the police, the school, my Psychologist and Hypnotherapist to make it safer for me to come back… but none of the plans they came up with would work. So, I went in for half a day at school to say goodbye to all my friends in a closed and controlled environment and was walked around the school with my head of house to get my teachers of that year to sign me out of school. After this it was the holidays and I got to see my friends one last time before I started my new school in term four…

This! Was probably the worst thing that happened to me in 2020 but I got through in with help from my friends, family, Psychologist and Hypnotherapist… So, if you’re in a situation where you’re afraid and getting hurt speak up and tell people because I can guarantee that they will help you no matter what. Now… are you ready for the very last curve ball my life in 2020? Yes? Excellent!

Fifth is moving schools:

Now moving schools is something people would normally do at the start of the year or halfway through the year. So, I obviously wasn’t going to do that as that was for normies (normal people) so being the brilliant, minded person I am I moved at the start of term four… right before the end of year exams! Lucky for me I came to the school in term four and therefore, wasn’t allowed to do the exams as it was unfair. So, right there and then I knew what my silver lining in the dark stormy cloud called 2020 was… “No Year Nine, Exams” this was the hit I needed to know that everything was fine now! Was I right? Definitely not…

As most people know when you move schools you are classified as the new girl or boy and therefore are treated as such. For me these included rumours and a bad choice of friend group on my third day at school… But let’s first start off at day one so you don’t get lost. Day one started off with a half school tour by one of the teachers, then a very awaked English lesson and an even more awaked lunch and recess as the people I was hanging out with didn’t seem like the type of people that I would want as my main group of friends. Day two wasn’t really any better… However, I did meet my now female bestie in Geo and my Crush and his friends in elective. After I meet my Female Bestie, Crush and his friends the day seemed to fly by and before I knew it, it was the end of the day. When the next day started some of my friends were acting weird as they were asking me about my Crush… who I met yesterday and when it got to recess, I learned the horrible truth that some of people that I thought were going to be really good friends with me had been spreading rumours and started treating me like a piece of dirt on their brand-new shoes.

Fortunately, I had made at least one good friend who helped me find and settle into a new group of friends who happened to have my Crush and Female Bestie and some of my Crush’s friends in it.

I started hanging out with my new group of friends every day from that point on. But unfortunately, me and my Crush started to get a little bit to friendly causing me to start have PTSD and flashbacks of my ex and grandpa. So, I worked with my Psychologist and Family and school on that and told my crush what was happening to me and once he knew the whole truth not just the half one that his friend told him causing a huge drama between the group, he was really supportive and helped me through my PTSD and flashbacks in any way he could. Soon it was the end of term and I was officially a part of a group that understood me for me and helped me through everything I was going through. I also made some funny and happy and altogether just amazing memories with my new friends.

And that’s how I made it through last year by telling people what was happening to me and asking for advice and/or help. So, please don’t be afraid of the new year and what it holds because as long as you have people that love you and are willing to help you through any situation, you’re in, then you have everything you can possibly ask for. Take it from the girl who went through five things that turned her world upside down and showed her a whole new angle to her life in the time spam of a year… and yet still knows how to laugh and smile and be her happy, goofy, sarcastic fifteen-year-old self!

So really what I’m trying to say to all of you is that the power of moving on is not, to be underestimated. And to face the challenges and adventures the future holds head on and to never look back!