Finding Equilibrium

As a young woman I was always taught that how I looked mattered more than what I thought. That I had no more to bring to the table than to be pleasing to look at. The Body Positivity movement came far too late for me and not a day goes by that I don’t struggle with my outlook on life. Throughout my teens I was suffocated by the judgement I received from my family members and my so called friends. After years of conditioning I just didn’t have the confidence to rise above and to make changes. The desire to transform was always on the forefront of my mind, however I didn’t have the courage to take those steps until my mid-twenties. While I was pursuing my first degree in technical theater I was truly able to open my mind to other possibilities. I was coming into regular contact with people who encouraged me to see the world differently. Who made me believe that I could do or be anything I set my mind to.

I began by tracking my habits as they were and by writing an honest reflection at the end of each day. It opened my eyes to how terribly I was treating myself. The worse I ate, the worse I felt. I was allowing myself to see stress in my life that didn’t actually exist. After a week of observing I decided to make changes. At first, I took extreme measures. I limited myself to only healthy/organic eating in addition to exercising every day of the week. I was keeping track of every calorie I ingested and I was calculating how much exercise I needed in order to “work off” more than what I was eating. I kept hearing how great I looked and how proud I should be, but I still wasn’t happy with myself. I kept up with this routine hoping that eventually I would catch the enthusiasm of those around me.

Months later a friend picked up on how unhappy I was and she brought me along to a yoga class. During this hour the concept of balance and moderation was finally one I could comprehend. I understood that in order to be truly healthy you also need to be okay with sometimes being “unhealthy”. Indulging or taking a day off every once in a while is not something that should cause guilt, but is necessary in order to lead a fulfilling life. Once I adopted this mentality I was able to let go. I allowed myself to have fun without constantly thinking about how much time I had to spend on the treadmill. I was welcomed with open arms into a community of struggling young women. We shared our stories. We found inspiration in the transformations we read about online, much like the stories that can be found at Testimonials – My Complete Transformation. We helped each other grow into the best versions of ourselves.

With the support of my peers I was able to create a balance that helped me to maintain a healthy lifestyle. I finally felt proud and was able to live without shame. Though my health journey has a happy ending, many others do not. We need to raise the next generation in an environment that not only encourages healthy habits but also healthy spirits. We need to build each other up by sharing our success and our setbacks. We need to have honest and open communication about both elements of healthy living. Only by doing this can we create a better future for each other and our world.