Fear of Knowing Who You Are
Dealing with Our Inner Emo
On a rainy afternoon, I was crying beneath my blanket while feeling disappointed. When my frenchy-boston noticed my distress, she climbed in bed with me and tapped my head with her right paw. Like a tootsie-roll pop, she licked away my tears as if reassuring me that everything was going to be ok. How many licks did it take to finally get me centered? None! Nothing could shake off the sadness no matter how much anyone tried.
My boyfriend came into the bedroom next and sat on the edge of the bed.
"What's wrong?" he asked with a concerned look on his face.
It took me a few minutes to reciprocate; but after building the strength to share my feelings, I finally let my guard down and expressed to him that I couldn't accept who I was because I wasn't normal. This was the first time I've shared my insecurities to another human being. I truly felt that I was born abnormal, and therefore I was never going to feel accepted by anyone. This negative mentality dug me deeper in the black hole of depression, and I knew that if I didn't climb out of it, I would be stuck there for a very long time.
Most of us have dealt with some form of insecurity that caused us to feel worthless or unwanted. When we are going through a period of negativity, we tend to let our "inner emo" take control. Most of us carry an inner emo that takes us down a path of unfavorable thoughts whenever we are going through a low point in our lives; unless we make a conscious effort to stop it, these negative thoughts can run automatically. How do we stop it? PUNCH THE INNER EMO IN THE FACE WITH YOUR FISTS OF AFFIRMATIONS! That's right! Once you can identify that you are having a negative thought, yell out some positive affirmations and you will be able to switch your mindset in no time.
When looking back to that memory, I failed to realize that I had many friends in my corner. Instead, I let my inner emo take full control of my brain and fill my mind with self-sabatoging thoughts of loneliness and insecurity. Eventually, I made an effort to name a few of my friends out loud, which was not easy at all; I really had to force myself to think the opposite of what I was feeling. When I was feeling somewhat better, I took it a step further. I took action to disprove my inner emo by spending time with a friend at a coffee shop.
Did the experience of spending time with my friend change my mind about self-worth? Absolutely! Building relationships and socializing is a great way to build confidence. The fact that my friend spent her time driving to Balboa Park just to come see me was validation enough that I was worthy and accepted. Did going down the list of names also help? Of course! I didn't realize how many people had my back until I named a few.
Going back to the initial problem, I was wrapped-up in the delusion that I was abnormal in everyone's eyes. When we are feeling insecure, in some sense we are also feeling abnormal. But what is normal anyway? Is it the most common behavior exhibited by society as a whole? What if some of us sit outside the spectrum of normalcy? Well, then there's a chance we might face ostracization or rejection of some kind. But before you start flooding your mind with insecurity and distress, know that it is not you that failed society: it is society that failed you.
Embrace the fact that you are a unique individual with a sense of originality. Never allow yourself to feel embarrassed of your talents, quirkiness, and/or special personality traits. Instead, flaunt your unique traits with the mentality that society needs to be more open-minded. If you are one of those rare individuals who loves making funny low-budget music videos in front of a green screen, and others just don't understand, then just flip the bird and tell them they are too boring for your time. Have confidence in yourself, let go of others' judgments of you, and only seek validation within yourself.
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Fear of Knowing Who You Are
Part 1 While watching The Great Dictator--featuring Charlie Chaplin as Adenoid Hynkel (Adolf Hitler)—I am reminded by a memory of the past. North Plainfield, New Jersey is where I grew up and, as any child, I imagined it as a world of surrealism with strange characters. If you've ever seen the Nickelodeon cartoon called "Hey Arnold", then you can imagine how closely knit and eccentric the community was. Well, that was the gist of my surroundings growing up with neighbors of special interests. Did we have a crazy-cat lady to go along with that? Yes and, to this day, every time I see a cat, I think back to the swarm of cats that lived in my neighbors home. Thanks crazy-cat lady for ruining my view on cats. Anyways, going back to The Great Dictator, there was another strange character that taught me a lesson about self-acceptance.
By Maideline Sanchez5 years ago in Motivation
“He Kept Going When No One Was Watching — And That Changed Everything”
No one ever noticed the days he almost gave up. There were no messages asking if he was okay. No one wondered why he became quieter. No one asked how much effort it took just to keep going. To the world, he was just another ordinary man. His name was Ayaan. Ayaan’s life didn’t collapse in one dramatic moment. It slowly faded. Missed opportunities. Rejected ideas. Silent disappointments. Every failure was small, but together they became heavy. He had dreams once. Big ones. Dreams that kept him awake at night, imagining a future where his hard work would finally matter. But over time, those dreams began to feel unrealistic—almost embarrassing. People around him seemed to move forward effortlessly. They celebrated promotions, achievements, and milestones. Ayaan watched from the side, smiling politely while feeling invisible. At work, his efforts were ignored. Among friends, his voice faded. At home, expectations weighed heavily on him. Slowly, a dangerous thought settled into his mind: “Maybe I’m not good enough.” That thought followed him everywhere. It followed him on crowded buses. It followed him into sleepless nights. It followed him every time he tried again and failed. One night, after scrolling through endless success stories online, Ayaan closed his phone and stared at the dark ceiling. His chest felt tight, not because of pain—but because of exhaustion. He whispered quietly, “How long do I keep trying?” There was no answer. But that night, Ayaan made a decision—not a loud one, not a confident one. A tired decision. He decided to keep going, even if nothing changed. The next morning felt the same. The same routine. The same doubts. The same fear of wasting his life. But Ayaan showed up anyway. He worked when no one praised him. He studied when no one guided him. He practiced when no one believed in him. Some days, motivation disappeared completely. On those days, discipline took over. He reminded himself: “I don’t need applause. I need progress.” Weeks passed. Nothing dramatic happened. No sudden success. No recognition. No miracle. But something subtle began to shift. Ayaan became calmer under pressure. He learned to sit with discomfort instead of running from it. He stopped comparing his journey to others. The silence that once scared him now became his training ground. Months later, a serious problem appeared at his workplace. It was complicated, risky, and easy to blame on someone else. Most people avoided it. Some pretended it wasn’t their responsibility. Ayaan didn’t announce himself. He didn’t seek attention. He simply started working. Late nights. Mistakes. Corrections. Learning. There were moments he wanted to quit. Moments when fear whispered, “You’re not ready.” But he answered back, “I’ll learn.” Slowly, the problem began to disappear. Not perfectly—but steadily. People noticed, quietly. One afternoon, his manager called him into the office. Ayaan expected criticism. Instead, he heard a question that stunned him: “Where did you learn all this?” Ayaan paused. How could he explain years of silent effort? How could he explain working when no one cared? He simply replied, “I kept going.” That moment didn’t change his life overnight. He didn’t become famous. He didn’t suddenly become successful. But it changed something far more important. His belief in himself. For the first time, Ayaan understood that life doesn’t always reward effort immediately. Sometimes, it watches. It watches who continues without praise. Who improves without recognition. Who grows in silence. Years later, Ayaan looked back at the version of himself who almost quit. The man who felt invisible. The man who thought no one was watching. And he smiled. Because he finally understood the truth: Life was always watching. Not to judge. Not to rush. But to see if he would keep going when it was hardest. The world doesn’t reward those who only work when they’re seen. It rewards those who build strength in silence. And sometimes, the moment that changes everything doesn’t come with applause. It comes quietly. After patience. After effort. After consistency. That is when everything finally begins to change. Final Message Keep going—even when no one is watching. Especially then.
By Inayat khan5 days ago in Motivation
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