Dark life

Her name was subaila. She was only seventeen years old. This is what happened.. When she was alive. Her dad was a drunk her mom was an addict. Her parents kept her locked in a attic. Her only friend was a little toy bear. It was old and worn out and had patches of hair. She always talked to it when no ones around. She lays there and hugs it not a peep of sound until her parents unlock the door some more and more pain she will have to endure. A bruise on her

leg, a scar on her face. Why would she be in such a horrible place? But she grabs her bear and softly cries. She loves her parents but they want her to die. She sits in the corner quiet but thinking "God, why? Why is my life always sinking?" Such a bad life for a sad little kid. She'd get beaten for anything she did. Then one night her mom came home high, she was hit and slapped as the hours went by. Then her mom suddenly grabbed for a blade it was sharp and pointy, one she made. She thrusted the blade in her chest "you deserve to die you worthless pest! The mom walked out leaving the girl slowly dying. She grabbed her bear and again started crying. Police showed up at the small

house. They quickly barged in. everything was a quiet as a mouse, one officer slowly opened the door to find the sad little girl lying on the floor. It must have been bad to go through so much harm. But at least she died with her best friend in her arms.

I've wanted to drown in my tears since I was 7

Hated myself from the age of 8

Wanted to die before I turned 13

Tried to cut away the pain when I reached 16 Hoping life would seep from the wounds and evaporate into the nothingness I felt I was.

I felt depression manifest before I even knew how to spell it. Some people are naturally born sad I thought, never destined to turn that frown upside down but designed to frown from the inside

out.

Cried myself to sleep more times than I remember laughing. Wet my pillow with only water, no salt since I had no substance left within.

Rationalized love was not for me. Never meant for the sad girl who knew of more ways to kill herself than she did nursery rhymes. Love was so misunderstood that pain felt like a better substitute with no half time.

Once the tears have dried and the pieces have been glued together again. I will put back the mask of my existence. Maybe even paint a new face and artistically placing it infront of the sad girl nobody ever wants to see.

"It's so difficult to describe depression to someone who's never been there, because it's not sadness. I know sadness. Sadness is to cry and to feel. But it's that cold absence of feeling-that really hollowed-out feeling."

The True Story of Rudolph

A man named Bob May, depressed and brokenhearted, stared out his drafty

apartment window into the chilling December night. His 4-year-old daughter Barbara sat on his lap quietly sobbing, Bob's wife. Evelyn, was dying of cancer. Little Barbara couldn't understand why her mommy could never come home.

Barbara looked up into her ded's eyes and asked, "Why isn't Mommy just like

everybody else's Mommy?

Bob's jaw tightened and his eyes welled with tears. Her question brought waves of grief, but also of anger. It had been the story of Bob's life. Life always had to be different for Bob. Small when he was a kid, Bob was often bullied by other boys. He was too little at the time to compete in sports. He was often called names he'd rather not remember.

From childhood, Bob was different and never seemed to fit in. Bob did complete college, married his loving wife and was grateful to get his job as a copywriter at Montgomery Ward during the Great Depression

Then he was blessed with his little girl. But it was all short-lived. Evelyn's bout with

cancer stripped them of all their savings and now Bob and his daughter were forced

to live in a two-room apartment in the Chicago slums.

Evelyn died just days before Christmas in 1938. Bob struggled to give hope to his child, for whom he couldn't even afford to buy a Christmas gift. But if he couldn't buy a gift, he was determined to make one-a storybook!

Bob had created an animal character in his own mind and told the animal's story to little Barbara to give her comfort and hope. Again and again Bob told the story. embellishing it more with each telling.

Who was the character? What was the story all about? The story Bob May created

was his own autobiography in Lable form

The character he created was a misfit outcast like he was. The name of the character? A little reindeer named Rudolph, with a big shiny nose.

Bob finished the book just in time to give it to his little girl on Christmas Day.

But the story doesn't end there.

The general manager of Montgomery Ward caught wind of the little storybook and offered Bob May a nominal fee to purchase the rights to print the book