Dancing For Life

I am more of myself when I am dancing. Liturgical, contemporary, Latin, ballet, jazz, hip hop, Soca, modern, African flare mixes together and causes me to be free. As a child my parents couldn’t afford the professional dance lessons I dreamed about daily. Shelter, food, and clothing were more pressing matters and rightfully so. However, I didn’t let that stop me from twirling and leaping around the house in my slippers. Any style of song would do, no matter how upbeat or gloomy the notes played. When the music hit my ears, I hit the floor. It always brought me peace and merriment. It has always healed me.

I can recall my journey of motion to sound starting around four years old. I would tourner from the chase to the loveseat and glisser from the living room to the kitchen. My mother and father let me be and my siblings continued to play and read. It felt natural and an automatic reaction when I felt happy or sad. Anytime a musical, a gymnastics floor routine, or similar program flashed across the television I became engulfed in the movement. I wanted to switch places with whomever was moving with such glorious freedom.

Friendships were difficult for me to form when growing up. I was often a loner and most times felt awkward in social settings. I was the shy, little, timid girl. But dance didn’t make me feel alone or strange. It was a close and loving friend. Even now as I write there is comfort in my heart when I think about dancing.

I was finally able to be in a dance class when I started high school. My high school instructor was amazing. He taught me ballet, modern, and jazz. The movements I only saw on stage in a theatre or a movie became movements I learned. The same year I was learning terms like plié, relevé, tendu, battement, and arabesque at school I started liturgical dance at my church. I discovered that dance not only was for me but it also became a way for me to worship God and enjoy that relationship.

By the time I got to undergrad I also found a dance group I could share in my gift and connect with others. I was able to choreograph and perform. I also became interested in various dances from around the world. I was introduced to the history of movements such as rumba, folk, capoeira, and West African. All of the cultures, relationships, and stories told through the dances intrigued me. I love the idea that despite a language barrier or lack of communication, dance could link people from all over the world.

As I grew into adulthood I slowed down. Life became harder and things I once enjoyed were difficult to grasp and hold onto. Working as an educator was stressful and tedious. I no longer had time for the things that made me happy. The past two years have been even more difficult on me physically and mentally. Two different viruses about six months apart attacked my immune system. Some days it was hard to breathe, some days walking a block made me out of breath, and many times it became hard to smile. After each recovery the viruses left remnants of themselves. My body was altered with new diagnoses; asthma, legions on organs, gastrointestinal issues. Then the pains created a depression bubble that was hard to blow out. Then there were whispers in my ear, “Get up and move, just move”.

Now, I am moving again. I am dancing again and it’s just for me. There are days that Contemporary sees me through reflection and Soca excites the party in me. My physical pain lessens with the consistent motion I have committed to again. My emotional pain calms with my body engaging with the music. Dancing has made me healthier.

Dance has seen me through my father’s death, broken heart, sicknesses, graduations, marriage, and health. It will continue to comfort and encourages me. It will continue to be a friend that teaches, entertains, and love me.