Constructive Conversation

Over the past few years, I have really struggled to engage in conversation with people. The reason being is that, as part of my personal development, and in order to continually better myself as a person, I have really distanced myself from gossiping. Gossip was something I would do naturally in most interactions with other people, as after all, it makes for spicy and interesting conversation, right? Perhaps, but the truth is that gossip is nothing more than unhealthy and destructive conversation that only reveals one's insecurities and a complete lack of subject matter in which they have anything interesting to talk about themselves. Because gossip was a part of my interactions with others, now that I have restrained from engaging in it, and encouraging it, I find myself a little lost on what to talk with people about. There's only so many times you can ask how someone is, what they've been up to, and what's on their agenda for the near future, before the conversation can hit that awkward dead end. I have always been someone that can converse fluently with anyone who has the ability to converse fluently in return, but if the other person also runs out of things to talk about, it does indeed become a little awkward. It's that moment where you end up doing anything to come up with some valid reason to depart the conversation, just to avoid continuing on the awkwardness of standing there with nothing to say. It's not to say that I don't have plenty to talk about positively in my life, however I would also prefer to listen to other people share some positives about their life. Is it no wonder that so many people struggle to do so though, considering the number of people who are living their life in unhappiness, and even depression? Continual and constructive conversation will continue being a huge focus for me, moving forward, despite how uncomfortable interactions may become, because it's an area I know I can have a massive positive influence on the life of others. I know that gossip is never a form of conversation to resort back to, as it offers no benefit to anyone, only destruction. After all, the saying does go "loose lips sink ships".

As much as I have been working on eliminating gossip from my life, for most other people though, they can't get enough of it. Whether it be about celebrities, their workmates, their boss, their friends, their extended family, their neighbors, or whoever, so many people love delighting in discussing other people's affairs, private matters, or even rumors. Why? Firstly, because it is conversation. It gives them something to talk about, whilst they also know that other people also love engaging in gossip. Secondly, as I mentioned above, it all comes back to one's insecurities, and the fact they have nothing positive or interesting to share about their own life, so they resort to talking about other people. Thirdly, out of pure jealousy. Some people cannot handle the fact that someone else is achieving success, or popularity, or fame, or wealth, and they believe if they personally can't have these rewards for themselves, then no one else should either, so they go about defaming them. They start creating rumors, they start to paint a picture to others that this particular person has massive flaws and issues, with the aim of taking that individual down, whilst creating popularity and attention for themselves. Finally, out of pure spite and hatred. Just because an individual dislikes another, for whatever reason, they will gossip about them in order to have others jump on the bandwagon in disliking them and hating them also. I'm not sure about you, but I can't find any positives in the above reasons as to why people love to gossip. Dragging other people down, defaming them, creating rumors, hating other people, and being insecure about oneself, none of these are in any way positive or beneficial. So why do it? Why engage in this destructive conversation when, in all honesty, there is no benefit or positive to come out of it? If tearing down other people in life is what gives you thrills and kicks, then you seriously need to question your character.

Gossiping about others only ever causes us destruction, because ultimately what results is that we often get found out. The person whom we gossip to, then goes on to gossip to someone else, and they to someone else, and it keeps on going until it ends up coming back around to the person we are gossiping about. This can lead to confrontation, the end of friendships, disciplinary action, and all other devastating results. As gossipers do so well, they try and backtrack, or deny having conversed in such a manner, again highlighting their lack of integrity and character. The conversations we should be having with others should always be constructive. It should be based upon compassion, generosity, support, encouragement, upliftment, inspiration, and kindness. Sure, we are always going to disagree with the views, opinions, and beliefs of others, but having a difference in these such things makes us all unique. We don't have to agree with them, nor them with us, but it doesn't entitle us to hurt them, or get angry. Like gossip spreads so easily, there's no reason why positive and constructive conversation can't either. If someone is on the receiving end of being spoken to by you with a manner of complete kindness, compassion, encouragement, and support, they are then filled with positivity and inspiration also. They all of a sudden understand the impact of what positive and constructive conversation has on them, and the emotions they experience as a result, leaving them compelled then to inspire others in the same manner. It feels good! When something feels good, and brings about satisfaction and happiness within us, we naturally want more of it. Most people operate from a negative mindset, so there will always be those who lack the mental strength and decency to disengage from gossip. They never see an issue with their actions or behavior. It's these such people we need to distance ourselves from. Surround yourself with people who are goals driven, motivational, encouraging, supportive, kind, caring, generous, and compassionate. By associating with these people more, we become less likely to engage in gossip. Gossiping only results in the lowering of our standards and character. Is that the person we really want to be? Is that what we want to be remembered and renowned for, a pathetic gossip? I challenge you, that from today, each conversation you have with other people, moving forward, will be constructive and positive, in which you completely avoid gossip. I also challenge you to disengage from anyone who gossips to you, even to part ways with those in your life who are serial gossipers. Start being constructive in your conversation, and start becoming an inspiration to others!

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