When it comes to personal development, not everything is all inspiring and motivating. That is so, because there are a lot of decisions we need to make, and a lot of actions that we need to take, that can quite often be extremely uncomfortable and challenging. They're not exactly things that we would like to do, yet they have to be done if we are to go on to achieve happiness, success, and prosperity in life. Personal development is indeed about encouragement, motivation, inspiration, drive, focus, progress, goals accomplishment, bettering ourselves, and the like, but there are another two crucial attributes to personal development that are so important for us to master, and they are courage and awareness. We are encouraged to be positive minded, but we cannot simply pretend that the negativity isn't there, and that's where awareness comes into play. We still need to have the awareness of what outlets of negativity surround us, in order to better repel its influence. That's also where courage comes into play, because naturally, many of the outlets of negative influence are people, often individuals to whom we associate with each day, or on a regular basis. Where does the courage part come into it, you may ask? Well, it's the moment we need to eliminate certain individuals from our life, and part ways with them because they are continually influencing us negatively through their beliefs, attitude, and behavior. Much of the time, these individuals are the likes of our partner, our parents, our siblings, our relatives, our friends, and our workmates. These are people we have known for much of our life, and to whom we have a close connection with, and yet they are having a massive negative impact on our life, our future, and our ambitions. The majority of people globally won't admit to being negative minded, yet the proof is in the pudding, courtesy of their actions, thoughts, behavior, attitude, morals, and mannerism. The truth is, the majority of people globally are indeed negative minded, highlighted by the number of people that we talk to each day, or who comment on social media, expressing just how unhappy they are in their life, constantly whinging and complaining in the process.
Negative minded and influential people are often referred to as being "toxic". A toxic person is considered to be someone who is "very harmful or unpleasant in a pervasive or insidious way". So why is someone considered toxic so bad for us? Simple, they have influence over our mindset, and not in a good way. We've all been a situation where one moment, we are feeling happy and content, but then next minute, someone comes along and perhaps sparks an argument or disagreement, or they start to criticize us, or they antagonize us, or they say something untoward, and then all of a sudden we find ourselves in a bad mood. It's like the happiness is just drained out of us. This is a classic example of toxicity. We are transitioned into a negative mindset ourselves, and it's common knowledge that when we are in such a mindset, we often make poor decisions, and even say things we live to regret. When we are in a negative mindset, we are naturally not going to be focused on achieving our goals, and effectively concentrating on the actions that are working towards them. We are not going to be thinking clearly, because our mind is overwhelmed with frustration and anger. We are naturally going to feel unhappy also, so there goes precious moments of our life wasted to unhappiness, rather than joy and gratitude. It's why we need to weed out these toxic people from our life, because we don't need that sort of crap. We want to be happy, we want to be successful, and want to achieve our goals, not constantly feel angry, miserable, depressed, and frustrated. So that takes us to the question, how do we determine if someone is toxic? The easiest way is to ask yourself these five questions: 1)- Do they mess with your head often? 2)- Do they repeatedly say and do things that upset you 3)- Do they expect you to prioritize them, but never the other way around? 4)- Do they ever see anything wrong with their actions? 5)- Do they act like a victim when confronted about their abusive, manipulative, and harassing behavior? Once again, this is where our awareness is paramount, because if the answer to any, or all, of these questions is "yes", it's time to rid of them from our life.
Here comes the courage part! How do we part ways with our partner or friend? How do we tell our parents, our siblings, or our relatives that we don't want to be around them? One thing that is for sure, you will encounter that fifth point above, that I stated. They will act like the victim, they will get angry, they will throw criticisms and insults at you, and they will attempt to guilt trip you. They will view as the one with the problem, not them! That will reveal the fourth point also, because they will fail to see that their negative attitude, behavior, and mannerism is the reason why you are looking to part ways with them. It's at this point you will completely understand how toxic this person really is. Expect that you are going to cop a barrage of criticism, insults, and verbal abuse, because no one likes to be told they are negative or toxic, but this is the discomfort you simply have to face and deal with. Stand firm, be bold, and prioritize your own mental health, mindset, happiness, and goals in life. Why should you be dragged down and denied success, happiness, goals accomplishment, and prosperity in life, all because others lack the courage and willpower to go for it themselves? You want to surround yourself with those who are also goals driven, who are motivated, and who are positive minded. These such people will also be supportive and encouraging of you, and your pursuit towards your goals. If you've ever experienced a moment in your life where you feel that a massive weight has just been lifted off your shoulders, guaranteed you will experience that same feeling when you remove those who are toxic from your life. Irrespective if you have known them for five weeks, five years, or five decades, no matter who they have been to you in the past, if they are toxic, they have no place in your future! Let go of toxic people, for your own sake! It may be a difficult, confronting, and uncomfortable action to have to do, but it's your own future and happiness that is on the line here. If they are family, and you cannot simply part ways with them, then completely minimize the time you spend with them. Disengage from conversation, and only ever speak positively. Develop the strength to repel their negativity, and walk away! How brave are you? Are you willing to part ways with the toxic people in your life?
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About the Creator
David Stidston
My name is David Stidston, and I am a single father to my 8-year-old daughter Mia. We live in the beautiful city of Hobart in Tasmania, Australia. I am currently self-employed, working as a freelancer and casually in market research.
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Family Is Not Always Blood Relative
I am a massive advocate for spending quality time with one's family, and relishing in every moment with them, as family is undoubtedly one of the most precious blessings to have in life. One thing I have really learned in life though, over the past 12 months, is that family is not always blood relative. We can look in the dictionary to see that family is defined as being "all the descendants of a common ancestor", but in reality, to most people worldwide, family isn't defined by definition, it is defined by love. Although I wasn't personally raised as an adopted child, I'm sure many individuals who were indeed adopted, can agree with the fact that the parents who raised them, are considered to be true family, even though they are not blood related. Why? Because it was these certain people who took on board those adopted individuals born into a broken family, or who were given up, or who were abandoned, or whose birth mother was unfortunately incapable of providing a quality life desired for their child, and they accepted the responsibility to love, care, support, raise, educate, and nurture these children into their adult years. Irrespective of color, race, or religion, it took the act of love to bring in an unknown child into their household, raising them as their own, and accepting the responsibility of caring for them, to help them grow, develop, thrive, and succeed in life. That's love as it finest! When we think about family not always being blood relative, we naturally think of adoption as that classic example, but it extends further than this. As I mentioned above, I wasn't raised by adopted parents, but I have begun to see that being blood related doesn't guarantee you the love, support, care, and encouragement that we come to expect from our family. Don't get me wrong, I couldn't have asked for better parents, as they were fantastic in the way they raised me, and I will forever be grateful for everything they ever did for me, and provided me with. I miss them both dearly, and no words can express how much I wish they were both still alive. What I am talking about includes extended family, or anyone else to whom which we are blood related.
By David Stidston5 years ago in Motivation
“The Man Who Never Missed a Day”
When I was 17, I met a man who delivered newspapers in the rain. Not in a casual, half-hearted way—but fully committed, every single morning. He would leave his house before sunrise, his coat soaked, shoes falling apart, and the wind cutting through him like a knife. Yet, despite the cold and wet, he smiled at everyone on his route. To a teenager like me, it was both confusing and inspiring. I remember the first time I saw him struggle with a bundle of papers that seemed almost too heavy for him. He slipped on the wet pavement, muttered something under his breath, and kept walking. When he reached the next house, he knocked on the door, handed over the paper, and smiled as the door closed. That smile was strange to me—it wasn’t pride or satisfaction, it was… calm. Almost peaceful. Curious, I approached him one morning. “Why don’t you take a day off when it’s so hard?” I asked, shivering in my hoodie as the rain soaked me through. He laughed, a deep, gravelly sound that didn’t sound annoyed, only knowing. “Son, nobody cares about today,” he said, shaking his head. “What matters is tomorrow. You build your life the same way: one small effort, every day, even when nobody notices.” At the time, I didn’t understand. My life felt urgent, like it had to explode with success immediately. I was chasing big ideas, jumping from project to project, leaving most half-finished. I thought motivation was everything—without the spark of inspiration, nothing mattered. The idea of showing up every single day, even when tired, even when bored, even when invisible, felt almost insane. I watched him for weeks. Rain or shine, he was there. I started noticing small details I hadn’t seen before—the careful folding of the papers, the way he adjusted his wet coat to protect the bundle, the extra minute he took to smile at a child running out to grab the paper. Every morning, the same ritual. Every morning, the same effort. And yet, nobody cheered. Nobody noticed. Years passed. I went to college, chasing my own “big dreams,” my own versions of instant success. I started businesses, abandoned them; learned new skills, stopped halfway; made promises to myself I couldn’t keep. I told myself I was working toward greatness, but mostly, I was chasing the idea of success, not the work itself. Motivation was my fuel, and when it ran out, I stopped moving. Meanwhile, the memory of that man stayed with me. The quiet diligence, the smile in the pouring rain. I didn’t realize it at the time, but he had already taught me the most important lesson: consistency matters more than talent, and persistence matters more than inspiration. Years later, I found myself struggling. A career path crumbled beneath me, a relationship ended badly, and my confidence had hit rock bottom. I remembered the man with the newspapers. I thought about how small, invisible efforts can be the hardest to trust—because results are not immediate, and recognition is not guaranteed. Yet, he had shown me that those small efforts accumulate, slowly but inevitably, into a life that cannot be ignored. I started experimenting with this principle myself. Every morning, I wrote 500 words for my stories—even when tired, even when uninspired. I practiced my skills quietly, without posting or sharing. I did the work not for applause, but because it mattered to the person I wanted to become. Some days, it felt like nothing was happening. Some days, I wanted to give up. But then I remembered the man with the newspapers, and I kept showing up. It didn’t take long before I started noticing changes. The words I wrote flowed better, ideas connected in ways they never had before. People began noticing my work. Small victories became more frequent, and my confidence started to rebuild. What had seemed like meaningless, invisible effort had quietly transformed my life. That man never became famous. He never went viral. He had no thousands of followers, no awards, no recognition. But every paper he delivered, every smile he shared, every step he took in the rain—it all mattered. Each day of consistent effort built a life he owned completely, a life he could be proud of. I realized then that success is not a moment. It is not a sudden flash of recognition or a single lucky opportunity. Success is the sum of the quiet, consistent decisions we make when no one is watching. It’s the choice to wake up when it’s easier to sleep. It’s the decision to work when it’s easier to scroll on your phone. It’s the effort we put in when the world doesn’t applaud. And the truth is simple: showing up every day is more powerful than talent, motivation, or luck. Talent fades. Motivation fluctuates. But showing up—every single day, rain or shine—creates results you cannot imagine. Just like the man in the rain, your efforts may not be recognized immediately. People may overlook them, circumstances may feel unfair, progress may seem invisible. But over time, the cumulative effect of your daily effort will speak for itself. One day, the world will notice. One day, your consistency will transform your life. So, start today. Don’t wait for motivation. Don’t wait for inspiration. Show up. Every day. One small effort. One action. One step at a time. Let your grind be louder than your excuses. Because the man who never missed a day wasn’t special. He was ordinary. But through persistence, he became unstoppable. And so can you.
By Ihtisham Ulhaqa day ago in Motivation
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