Concern and Control

Concern and Control: Understanding What We Can and Cannot Influence

Introduction

In both personal and professional life, we constantly face situations that demand our attention, energy, and emotional involvement. However, not everything that concerns us is within our control. Understanding the boundary between what concerns us and what we can control is one of the most powerful tools for effective living, emotional balance, and smart decision-making.

The Circle of Concern

What is the Circle of Concern?

The Circle of Concern includes everything we care about or feel affected by. This could range from personal matters like health, family, and finances to larger, external issues such as global warming, political conflicts, or social trends.

Characteristics of the Circle of Concern:

Broad and vast — It covers almost anything you think or care about.

Largely external — Many items here are influenced by external forces (other people, governments, economies, etc.).

Emotionally draining — Worrying about things in this circle often leads to frustration, stress, or even helplessness because you can do little to change them directly.

Examples of Concern:

Global economic downturn

A natural disaster in another country

Political instability in your nation

A family member’s health condition

Company restructuring or layoffs at work

The Circle of Control

What is the Circle of Control?

Within the broader Circle of Concern lies the Circle of Control, a much smaller zone that contains everything you can directly influence or change. This is where your personal power resides.

Characteristics of the Circle of Control:

Specific and actionable — These are things you can actively do something about.

Internal or close-to-you — Most of these are within yourself (attitudes, thoughts, actions) or your immediate environment.

Empowering — Focusing here builds confidence, resilience, and a sense of ownership.

Examples of Control:

Your mindset and attitude

How you respond to criticism

Your work ethic and personal habits

How you manage your health and well-being

Decisions you make about your career or relationships

Why Understanding This Matters

1. Emotional Well-Being

When you obsess over things you cannot control (like the economy, climate change, or others’ opinions), you experience chronic stress and anxiety. However, shifting focus to what you can control helps you reclaim peace of mind.

2. Effective Leadership and Management

Leaders who dwell on external factors (competitor actions, market shifts) may feel overwhelmed and reactive. Leaders who focus on their team's skills, innovation, and internal processes are far more proactive and solution-oriented.

3. Resilient Decision-Making

When you recognize what you can control, you take action instead of wasting energy complaining or blaming. This mindset shift moves you from being a victim of circumstances to becoming a creator of solutions.

The Circle of Influence: Bridging Concern and Control

There’s an interesting middle ground called the Circle of Influence—areas where you may not have full control, but you can influence outcomes through indirect actions, persuasion, or collaboration.

Examples of Influence:

You cannot control company policies directly, but you can suggest changes.

You cannot control a friend’s unhealthy habits, but you can encourage and support healthier choices.

You cannot stop climate change alone, but you can adopt eco-friendly habits and influence those around you.

Practical Approach: How to Apply This Concept Daily

Situation Circle it Belongs To What to Do

Your job has a toxic culture Concern Focus on what you can control—your skills, your network, your decision to leave or stay

Inflation is rising Concern Control your budget, savings, and spending habits

Your colleague is difficult Influence Communicate better, set boundaries, adjust your reactions

Your personal fitness Control Create and follow your own fitness plan

Mindset Shift: From Worry to Action

Mindset Trap Empowered Response

"I’m worried about the economy." "I will focus on improving my skills to stay employable."

"I can’t stand my manager." "I will manage how I respond and build my own professional reputation."

"The world is so unfair." "What positive action can I take within my reach?"

The Stoic Connection: Ancient Wisdom on Control

This concept isn’t new. Ancient Stoic philosophy emphasizes the importance of distinguishing between things within our control and things outside it. Epictetus, a famous Stoic philosopher, wrote:

“Some things are up to us, and some things are not.”

This timeless wisdom encourages us to let go of attachment to outcomes we cannot control and instead invest energy into our effort, attitude, and character.

Key Takeaways

✅ “Focus on what you can control, and let go of what you can’t.”

Concern is broad, control is focused—know the difference.

✅ Control what you can, accept what you can’t, and influence what you might.

✅ Action beats anxiety—doing something productive within your control is the best antidote to stress.

✅ Resilient people and strong leaders focus on their Circle of Control while staying aware of the Circle of Concern.

Final Thought

🌱 “You cannot control the wind, but you can adjust your sails.”