Childhood & Trauma: In Search of Healing

It’s unfair that we get hurt in the moments we most need to be cherished. That during the years when we are most trusting, the world fails us.

Childhood trauma is one of the most painful experiences a person can ever go through. Yet, many remember some of the worst events in their lives on par with something exciting, like getting gifts in winter or jumping into a puddle.

Trauma changes us. And not just metaphorically or mentally; it affects how our brains develop. We cannot reverse the past, but knowing how our brains work now can help us find ways to heal.

How We Develop

Even before we are born, a lot can impact our brain development — mothers’ health, most of all. If a woman is stressed or lacks access to proper resources, it can negatively impact her child.

Once the child is born, there comes physical and mental fulfillment of their needs. This means that caregivers should provide children with a sense of security and stability. If there’s stress, an unstable environment, and a lack of social support, brain development from these traumas can be negatively impacted.

There’s hope, however: positive factors can soften the blow of the negative ones.

How Our Trauma Changes Our Brain

I’ll add a few scientific words here, but they are important for your knowledge of this topic. I’ll try to keep it short.

When a child suffers from trauma (especially if it threatens their safety), it activates the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis, which is like the body’s alarm system. It releases cortisol, a hormone that helps regulate stress. It’s valuable in moments of danger: we can react better and understand how to move next. But if a child experiences it frequently, the entire structure falls into a disarray.

Slowly, cortisol changes a child’s brain architecture. Such a child becomes overly emotionally reactive and struggles to process their feelings effectively. In other cases, it influences memory; this influences not only high school homework, but also how they recollect integrative events in their lives. It’s common among trauma survivors. Some call it trauma-related amnesia, but it’s often a result of dissociation — a natural response when our mind escapes reality to protect us. This explains why some individuals recall sensations or emotions without a coherent timeline or why specific periods of life may appear blurry or lost altogether.

Some children may find it difficult to concentrate or make decisions rationally. In the worst-case scenarios, trauma leads to depression and anxiety, and kids go through this with even more difficulty than adults.

Each of these can bleed into adulthood as well. Even as adults, we often struggle to close these past gaps, and we continue to face the same issues, whether we have caregivers or have become them ourselves.

How to Spot This Pain?

Although every child, complex and fragile as they are, responds to trauma differently, some patterns are relatively standard. It can be helpful for educators who want to know why a kid in their care behaves a certain way. However, it can also enable parents or family members to understand how painful events can affect a child.

Alertness & Emotional Overload

What do we do when an unpleasant situation has affected us? Try to avoid it. Once you’re burned, you are more hesitant around fire the next time. The same goes for the traumatized child. They can constantly look around and seem very alert, as if scanning everything for possible dangers. Each minor inconvenience or issue makes them tense and emotional.

In some cases, trauma causes them to react too aggressively to conflicts that don’t call for it. At other times, they respond sensitively to communication or any discomfort and start crying. Or, they can escape from any places that fall outside of their familiar zone, which stops them from pursuing anything unknown.

Regardless of how such a child acts in nuances, they try to escape the repetition of trauma at any cost.

School Trouble

Many children need time to develop concentration and discipline for school tasks or to master skills at home. They learn how to behave and socialize with peers and authority figures. It’s a natural part of childhood growth. Nonetheless, children who were traumatized or abused often struggle at school more than their classmates.

It can manifest through difficulty concentrating on the teacher’s words or the task at hand. Such a kid forgets to do their homework, bring the textbook, or just come to the concert.

Trauma may lead to misbehavior (remember that emotional dysregulation I mentioned before?) and outbursts. One of the most frustrating things of all in this is that a child without social support and proper socialization doesn’t have access to the mitigating factors. So they are alone with their trauma.

How Can We Heal?

Here’s the hopeful side of it all, despite all the dark before: it’s possible to change one’s brain even if it’s different now because of abuse and harm.

While there are situations when we can cope on our own, trauma is something that can be reflected on best with a professional. Asking for help is strong. It’s resilient. So if you are thinking about it, know that you deserve all the support you can get.

If you are a parent who wants to choose the best option for your child, look for trauma-informed specialists. It’s a sensitive process, but sometimes, when we care a lot about the person, there’s a limit to what we can do for them. So, a mental health specialist can be better equipped and more objective in finding solutions. Typically, my clients prefer cognitive behavioral therapy or mindfulness-based stress reduction. Don’t take only my word for it, though — everyone has their preferences.

Progress depends on more than professional assistance, though. Trauma has influenced the entire life of a child, and so they need to adjust their lifestyle to compensate for it. Introducing meditation, mindfulness, and yoga can benefit people of any age. It does more than just stabilize mood — it allows you to feel your body better. Children might take a bit more time to get used to these new activities, but it’s totally possible.

Supporting Recovery

All healing starts from the core. We long to be protected. That’s why creating a secure environment should be a priority for you or those caregivers who want to give a child more support.

There’s also the role of parents in how a child expresses their feelings and how they can integrate stability into their lives. Provide a total no-judgment space where children have routines that signal that it’s safe to just be. Go with them through any difficult emotions and pay attention to their mood and behavior changes. Be there, and that is enough.

A holistic growth from the damage requires external help. Parents should consider collaborating with pediatricians, teachers, school counselors, and therapists. You know when they say, “It takes a village to raise a child?” Well, it takes no less to heal one.

Going From Here

Once a child is traumatized, it can seem impossible to come back from it. But it’s the intention that matters — and by rebuilding the world that once was shattered, you can find the way out of that dim place. Move through this with kindness, acceptance, and patience.