Being Hopeful

So I have lived on the West Coast for about 7 years now. I love it, but I can’t tell you how much I miss home. I come from a small town in the south. I miss every minute of it. I moved out here to be able to do something better for myself.

So I have been thinking alot about trying to find new ways to build myself up. My confidence isn't that great. I have been brought down my whole life. I feel like I'm not the perfect person everyone wants me to be. How do I strive to be a good person, the person everyone wants me to be?

Well, I've kinda figured it out. I can be perfect in my own way. I don't need other people's opinions to make me feel like myself. Why would I listen to what others tell me how to be me if half the time I don't even know how to be me. It took me a long time to figure that out. Mainly because, all my life I wasn't even sure why they wanted me to be that way. I hated listening to them, they made me feel like I couldn't do anything on my own. I get that having health issues is a big thing, but I really did try. In the end I needed to let the negativity go and finally be able to be myself.

I went to Art Institutes and got a duel Bachelors in Arts, and an Associates in Business Management. I worked my butt off to be where I am. I work so hard to strive to be confident in myself. To love the big woman I am today. I love the way I laugh, the way I can't help but dance to random music, and the fact that I absolutely will stop at nothing to make someone's day just so much better. To see the smile on their faces makes me feel like I have done everything right in the world.

I had an ex that never let me be myself and he always took over everything I ever did. I dealt with it for about five years and then I couldn’t. I had to get out of there so that I could be the person I was meant to be. He would try to control what I did, what I liked, and how I acted around people. I absolutely hated how I had to be. It made me feel like I was just a puppet in his side show.

I knew that I would have to change everything that was going on with me. I couldn’t stand the way my life was. So I did what I had to do. I left and it’s the best thing to happen to me. I am now able to work how I want, do what makes me happy, and I can finally do my hobbies again. I miss being able to draw and write. Honestly I may not be a great artist or writer, but it makes me happy. I’m in my own space and I can finally be my own person. I love my hobbies, I feel it’s the best version of me.

Whatever you do, don’t let other people try to control who you really are. I know that it’s a scary thing to finally be who you really are. Honestly just let the real you out. Be free! Dance how you want, be as silly as you want, love exactly who you are as a person. I can guarantee that the person you are is the most amazing person ever.