Behind the Black Cover

It was one of those days that started quietly, without hinting at any significance but ended up being one of the most important days. MaryAnn was lying on her bed and listening to the stillness of the room. In her mind she could hear the powerful play of the ocean waves as they collide with the shore and breakdown giving out majestic white foam before they disappear, and the new waves come with the same zeal and power before they meet the same fate. She pondered at the resemblance between life and the waves. Her eyes wide open as she discovered the meaning and purpose she has searched for so long. For a moment she felt peaceful and complete. Then she remembered Steve and their meeting tonight and a veil of slight darkness fell over her face. They have been together for over two years. Everyone including her thought they will end up in a marriage. However, for last few months she has not been happy in their relationship. Steve is a nice man, but he gets incredibly angry sometimes which truly scares her. The thought that she will have to live with this occasional outburst of extreme anger made her heart sink. She thought hard whether she should end her relationship with Steve. Finally, she made the decision. Everything was clear in her mind until this morning. She was hesitating now, and the doubts were emerging on the horizon of her soul. He loves her. Perhaps he will be willing to work on his behavior. She sighed, feeling heaviness building up in her chest. Then the stillness of her soul was coming back and her chest quietly depressed. But can people ever change? The thought interrupted her peace. Steve has a lot of wonderful qualities. He will sure make someone happy who truly loves him and can handle his personality. She was afraid that she is not that person. She felt this is the right time to break up with him. But now when only a few hours are left to do it, she is not completely sure. Her eyes fell on the little black notebook resting on her desk. She wrote all important moments and milestones in her little black notebook which knew her better than anyone else, maybe even better than she knew herself. She stood up and approached the little black notebook. She knew if she wrote it down it would be official. She opened it feeling tired and she could feel the weight of her impending decision. She knew that it is the right one, but something was causing her to hesitate.

She wrote down, “Meeting Steve tonight. My good Stevie… but I can’t…I just can’t please forgive me. I don’t know how he will take it. Maybe I am little afraid to think about it…”

Then a shiver went through her body. She looked back at her little black notebook and wrote, “I am hesitant… I don’t know what to do now. I am not so sure it is the right decision. Should I do it? I don’t know…”

She closed her little black notebook abruptly. She felt sorry. She did not want to be harsh to her little black notebook which has become her best friend over the years. This beautiful notebook knew more secrets about her than any of her best friends. She just stood there looking at the golden letters on the front cover of the notebook. These letters were her initials, MW, written in a nice royal font. Inside the notebook, her name was written with black sharpie ink. It read, “MaryAnn Winslet”. She didn’t like that it was written with a sharpie, but it is nearly like her signature. The color and intensity of the sharpie matches the cover of the notebook. She placed her hand gently on the black cover in an attempt to console the little black notebook.

“I will let you know soon,” she whispered. A gushing stream of thoughts prompted her to open the little black notebook again. She noticed that the address portion of the first page of the notebook was empty. She wondered why she never filled the page before. Perhaps it was because she never took her little black notebook out with her. She was always afraid that she might forget it somewhere or lose it. She would not survive such a big loss, so she made sure her little black notebook always stays home to wait for her to return. She grabbed a pen from her desk and wrote her address.

“Now it looks complete,” she thought. She closed the little black notebook, and glanced at its covers while putting it back on her desk.

“Pray for me that everything goes well tonight,” she whispered quietly. At that moment she did not realize how significant these words will be. She walked out of the room to start her day and thought about how she would get ready to meet up with Steve.

A couple years later, Bryan has landed a publishing deal for his first book. He was resting on the beach down the street from Maryann’s parents’ house. He was incredibly happy. He was filled with a sense of accomplishment from finally making it after so many years of struggling as a writer. He admired the vastness of the ocean. Seagulls were squawking in the background. A little breeze was bringing ocean mist. The sun was still beating down strong. He turned over and lay on his stomach. He briefly closed his eyes and enjoyed the gentle breeze. He was thinking about going back to his apartment to tell his family about the publishing deal. His family has lost all hope that he will ever publish any of his works. Inspired by his success, he wanted to write more. He will start on another adventure soon; he felt it in his veins. He thinks the life of a writer is exciting. Writers experience many different lives through their characters and stories. His family doesn’t know how fulfilling his life is as a writer. But unfortunately, his family measures success with money and not with fulfillment of the soul and joy. As he opened his eyes, he could see a little black cover peering out of the sand. He jumped up from his towel in sudden curiosity. He removed the sand and there was a little black notebook.

“Someone must have forgotten this cute notebook,” Bryan thought. Being a writer, he has deep respect for novels and notebooks. He picked up the notebook and looked around. There were a few people around, but he felt that the notebook did not belong to any of them. Still, he asked them if the notebook belongs to them. They looked at him with an empty gaze and then at the notebook and shook their heads. He returned to his towel and wondered if he should look inside. He opened it quickly and noticed that it is a diary. He quickly closed it and took it with him to protect it from the high tide.

“I will come back tomorrow and try to find the owner,” he thought. He noticed the initials, MW, engraved in the notebook in a beautiful gold royal font. He knew it was the owner’s initials. A nice, gentle breeze covered his face. It felt like an angel’s hug. He didn’t really know how that felt, but this breeze made him think of an angel. He drove home, grabbed a quick bite to eat, and stared at the little black notebook. He knew he could not resist for long. He totally forgot about calling his family and telling them about his book deal. He grabbed the notebook and started reading through the pages. It was written by a nice, pious girl. Her relationship with her boyfriend Steve filled the notebook pages. She was saving herself for a marriage. Towards the end, the stories became disturbing. She talked about Steve’s outbursts of anger that were genuinely concerning to her. Bryan was angry with Steve even though he did not know him.

“How can you be angry with such an angel?” he thought. He could not set the little black notebook down until he finished.

“What happened? Did she break up with Steve?” he pondered. Now, he could not wait to go back to the beach tomorrow and hopefully find the owner. It was too late to call his family. He could not stop thinking about the relationship he read about. He didn’t sleep very well that night. He woke up more tired then when he went to bed. He felt guilty for taking and reading the notebook. After breakfast, he went to the beach. He was waiting for someone to show up, but no one was in sight. Eventually, a couple families came but he saw no one looking for the notebook.

Bryan thought, “MW will miss her little black notebook. She is probably desperate now. Maybe she doesn’t know where she lost it?”

He noticed that there is an address written on the first page. He put the address on his phone. It was not far away from the beach. The name of the street is Ocean Avenue. As he was driving up the street he felt as if the ocean and heaven are connected by this street. He stopped in front of a beautiful house. He could sense sadness from the house. As a writer, he strangely perceived these things. He rang the doorbell on the gate and questioned if he is doing the right thing. A gate camera looked at him and a woman’s voice addressed him. His heart was racing.

“Uh… I was at the beach down the street and I found this little… uh…” he hesitated, “this little black notebook at the beach yesterday. I took it with me to save it from the tide. This address was written in the notebook, so I wanted to return it…” The gate opened.

“Please come inside. Thank you very much for bringing it,” the woman said. When he approached the house, a beautiful older woman dressed in all black stood in the front entrance. Her eyes were sad, but she was happy to see him. The color of her eyes reminded him of a beautiful ocean. “This notebook belongs to my daughter. I was at the beach yesterday. It would have been her 22nd birthday. She passed away two years ago. I have been carrying this notebook everywhere with me. It is like part of her still with me when I have this notebook,” she said.

Bryan did not know what to say. He just looked at her in disbelief. He just handed her the little black notebook. She handled it with an abundance of love and tenderness. The movement of her hands spoke louder than her words. He understood. He knew that this little black notebook meant more to this woman than anything in this world. He knew that the most important thing he has done in his life is bring this little black notebook to this grieving mother. She looked at him and he noticed a little tear caught in the corner of her eye.

“Thank you very much,” she was able to utter with a shaking voice. She handed him a check as a thank you for bringing the notebook to her.

Bryan was overwhelmed with emotions. It was a miracle she could smile given the tragedy that this woman has been carrying on her chest. Even though he will never know if MaryAnn broke up with Steve, he learned about her fate. This is going to be one of those books that writes itself, whose life story has deeply touched the writer. As he was walking away, he looked at the check and he could not believe his own eyes. The check was for $ 20,000!