Dijana Erskine

Behind the Black Cover

It was one of those days that started quietly, without hinting at any significance but ended up being one of the most important days. MaryAnn was lying on her bed and listening to the stillness of the room. In her mind she could hear the powerful play of the ocean waves as they collide with the shore and breakdown giving out majestic white foam before they disappear, and the new waves come with the same zeal and power before they meet the same fate. She pondered at the resemblance between life and the waves. Her eyes wide open as she discovered the meaning and purpose she has searched for so long. For a moment she felt peaceful and complete. Then she remembered Steve and their meeting tonight and a veil of slight darkness fell over her face. They have been together for over two years. Everyone including her thought they will end up in a marriage. However, for last few months she has not been happy in their relationship. Steve is a nice man, but he gets incredibly angry sometimes which truly scares her. The thought that she will have to live with this occasional outburst of extreme anger made her heart sink. She thought hard whether she should end her relationship with Steve. Finally, she made the decision. Everything was clear in her mind until this morning. She was hesitating now, and the doubts were emerging on the horizon of her soul. He loves her. Perhaps he will be willing to work on his behavior. She sighed, feeling heaviness building up in her chest. Then the stillness of her soul was coming back and her chest quietly depressed. But can people ever change? The thought interrupted her peace. Steve has a lot of wonderful qualities. He will sure make someone happy who truly loves him and can handle his personality. She was afraid that she is not that person. She felt this is the right time to break up with him. But now when only a few hours are left to do it, she is not completely sure. Her eyes fell on the little black notebook resting on her desk. She wrote all important moments and milestones in her little black notebook which knew her better than anyone else, maybe even better than she knew herself. She stood up and approached the little black notebook. She knew if she wrote it down it would be official. She opened it feeling tired and she could feel the weight of her impending decision. She knew that it is the right one, but something was causing her to hesitate.