Age 23 vs Age 24: Some things are only understood through experience

Ages 20-23 passed by naively like an introductory passage, vibrant, and catchy in the symphony of youth. Age 24 is the transitional segment before reaching the climax - or perhaps - the sudden downturn of that symphony. It carries a sense of uncertainty. It's an unimpressive and somewhat flawed interlude that listeners would want to pause or skip. I was the same way until I sat here, lost in my thoughts, imagining a replay button and starting again from the phase at 23...

1. Self

Age 23: I feel really young. Especially, if we consider the work environment, I belong to the fresh graduate generation, the youngest group in the company. Everyone greets me as "sir" or "ma'am."

Age 24: Uh, well, not old yet. But not really young anymore either. In the work environment, there are close age groups, and even part-time students who are 4-5 years younger. Now, I'm addressed as "miss" or "ma'am".

2. Fear

Age 23: I feel like I don't know fear: not afraid of failure, not afraid of challenges, not afraid of not being able to do something. I only feel excited about the path ahead, knowing that I can accomplish anything. Time is still long, failures can be rectified, what is there to fear?

Age 24: Oh look, it's just an additional year, but society adds an "old age" label at 25. Friends are getting married, people have stable jobs, attending weddings and seeing younger kids now grown into young women. And suddenly, I'm promoted to... a young lady. I suddenly feel, why do I seem older? Why do I feel like I actually have to play the role of an adult? Why do I still feel uncertain? Why, is there a vague fear creeping in?

3. Job

Ages 22, 23: Work began even before graduation. Everything went smoothly. With some skills and knowledge accumulated from school and part-time jobs, I managed to adapt well to work. Additionally, the overflowing youthful enthusiasm somehow made me "suitable" for the job, gaining trust and somewhat high evaluations from superiors and colleagues.

I was aware of my youthful inexperience, but I also had some confidence and felt my own value. I felt steady on my own feet. And that was a wonderful feeling.

Age 24: Encountering the first setbacks in my career. For the first time, I personally experienced failure, regardless of what superiors or colleagues might say. I motivated myself to start over and do better, but for the first time, I felt discouraged. I felt helpless. I felt tired. I doubted myself. I felt worse than the times when sales declined, distributors returned goods, or demanded payments... - all of which were terrifying experiences at age 22. And that is a feeling that is not so great.

4. Friends:

Age 23: Few gatherings, everyone is busy with work. Every time we meet, there's someone who has changed jobs. Every time we meet, we talk about what we're doing now? Where did we travel? Are we in Hanoi or back in our hometown? Have we met someone special? How's love going? How romantic is life?...

Age 24: Perhaps more gatherings, but each gathering comes with someone's wedding invitation. Among our friend groups, more than half are getting married, some have a few, and some... still remain single. But regardless of the group, the conversation revolves around insurance, maternity leave, taking care of children, dealing with in-laws, saving money, and household matters.

Sitting there, watching everyone laugh and joke, brings joy to the heart. I appreciate those friends I've known since school, since the teenage years, when we used to just hang out together, and somehow it's easy to feel their sincerity.

It also feels nice, suddenly thinking that a group of 3 will become 6, a group of 8 will become 16... and it will grow even more. I can only hope that the future brothers-in-law will get along with each other, and our families will go on trips together, that would be truly enjoyable, wouldn't it?

5. Love

Age 23: Despite experiencing setbacks, the heart still radiates with warm passion. I feel that I can still love intensely and am willing to hold onto that until the end of life. But if a breakup is necessary, even though it may be painful, I know I can start again and give the best of myself to someone new. Because no one dies from missing someone, what matters is loving oneself and loving the new person, wanting fairness for them. So why can't I passionately start over once more?

Age 24: I still pour my heart into love, opening up and remaining receptive, but the accumulated wounds begin to dampen the enthusiasm. I still desire to love intensely and hold onto it until the end of life, but I gradually realize the need for self-control. For the first time, I experience the feeling of being "hesitant to love," knowing that if it's not right, I'm willing to step out of a relationship. And even though I know that I should never harbor hatred within myself because I love myself, and out of admiration and the desire for fairness to the new person, I will always treat them with the best qualities of myself, but I also feel that it's not easy to open my heart again.

I hesitate to open my heart, to start the chain of courtship, dating, happiness, and joy, only to give my love wholeheartedly and receive hurt in return. If I have to start over, I will surely wait for someone deserving, even though I feel afraid of loneliness myself.

6. Family

Age 23: Going through the early challenges of life, I realize that family is always by my side. Siblings are indeed siblings. No matter what, we share the same blood and will always be there for each other. I remind myself to treat them better.

Age 24: I feel a stronger sense of kinship within the family. I notice how quickly time passes, and my parents are growing older, dedicating their lives to taking care of us, exchanging their prime years for a more uncertain old age. I feel that I haven't done enough for my parents. I also feel affection for my siblings and remind myself to make more effort so that we can support each other in the future.

Suddenly, I remember the days of childhood when our family was a small unit, with our parents as the adults, and during festivals, the entire family would gather at our grandparents' house. Now, my siblings have grown up, and some have children of their own. Our family has become a large one, and in the future, I and my small family will come here to reunite with them.

7. Management

Age 23: I realize that to be a manager, I need extensive knowledge and skills to effectively perform my job. To become a successful manager, I must have the courage to ensure the interests of employees, customers, and the company. However, at this stage, I only have a sincere heart, enthusiasm, some theoretical knowledge, and dreams. I lack practical experience and still have a long way to go before embodying the term 'competence.'

Age 24: My competence is still small, like a needle in a haystack. But I also understand that the higher the position, the more I need not only skills but also a large, inclusive heart. The more I care for others and the greater the responsibility entrusted to me, the larger it becomes.

It is human nature to be selfish, greedy, or envious. However, to be a manager, one must have a large heart and genuinely care about the well-being of others. If I only focus on myself, I cannot be an effective manager.

Similarly, to enter into marriage, one's heart must also be large. Because establishing a family means transforming the love between two individuals into a matter that concerns many people. Without a large heart, it is difficult to fulfill duties towards parents, show love to a spouse, foster camaraderie with siblings, and nurture the next generation.

8. Boys

Age 23: I see that girls face tremendous pressure: they have to focus on their careers, take good care of their families, be beautiful, and on top of that, they are expected to get married earlier than boys. And because they have to marry early, they must make extra efforts. Regardless, I feel that girls still face more "hardships" than boys.

Age 24: There are days when I feel tired, helpless, and burst into tears. Sitting alone by the lake, contemplating, I realize that if girls face this much pressure, then boys must undoubtedly face even more fatigue and pressure: their careers, homes, self-affirmation... Every gender wants and needs to strive, but society and their own expectations impose more demands and pressure on men. I can't help but feel sorry for them.

9. Comparison

Age 23: I feel truly comfortable. I have chosen my own path. I confidently turn down big opportunities to pursue the work I love. I believe that is what I should do and what is right. If there are mistakes, I am willing to pay the price for the experiences I have had and will have.

Age 24: I still support the perspective I had at 23 that life is too short to do what I don't enjoy and too long to not experience what I want. However, I realize the presence of comparison: walking my own path while also looking at the paths around me to see if I am falling behind.

I find myself comparing abilities, performance, and even... salary with friends of the same age. There seems to be an invisible pressure or self-imposed pressure to try to keep up with them. From one perspective, that may be good, but deep down, I believe it is losing my sense of authenticity. And that is something that needs to change.

…

—

Perhaps, compared to being 23, being 24 is not as great. I have unintentionally and deliberately created both positive and negative pressures for myself. At the age of 22 and 23, I was young and confident, graduating from university - but at 24, I feel inexperienced, just starting the "preschool" of life.

But regardless of age, the present self (and the future self) still wants to:

1. Be grateful, love life, and remind oneself to always appreciate and love the journey of personal growth. There were times when I felt really down, didn't want to do anything, and didn't want to think anymore. However, looking back, as I sit here today writing these lines, I realize that all those experiences were indeed valuable.

These experiences happened for a reason and they were necessary for me to become a better person.

I don't expect the path to be smooth, I only hope to always maintain a sense of gratitude and courage to see things more clearly

2. Feel happy because the heart still knows how to flutter: in front of a word, a cute gesture, a sincere emotion, a beautiful flower...; know to pause and think, to appreciate, to feel the beauty of life, of work... or even a dew-drenched moss on the wall of a neighbor's house.

3. Still (strive to) maintain belief in the inherent goodness of people, still believe that sincerity is the best approach to interact with others and work, still believe that through personal efforts, one can contribute good values to society, still believe in the power of kindness even if... it is beginning to be realized that one's kindness needs to be sharpened.

4. Realize that self needs to cultivate many things: The more exposed to chaos, the more important it is to cultivate inner calmness. The more encountered with wounds, the more important it is to cultivate treating others with compassion. The more faced with failures and difficulties, the more important it is to cultivate not easily giving up. The more feeling small and weak, the more important it is to cultivate not being discouraged from learning...

It is easy to say but not easy to do, but it is necessary to cultivate the ability to always think positively and have the courage to live beautifully as one envisions.

—

Writing for the past vulnerable days,

Writing for myself and those who are 24 and experiencing ups and downs, to continue striving, so that one day in the future, looking back, everything will seem so small, today's problems will also seem laughable... but we are happy because we once had a 24th year like that <3

Javis98

Hanoi, 1st November 2023