A lifetime phoenix

When you are young you get bullied, called unpleasant names and made to feel all sort of things. Some say its part of growing, they say " that's just how it is", you have to go through all that. Some call it stages of life but then you grow up and realise that the shadows of the past, your childhood, still haunting you each day of your life. You try to get past it, but it keeps weighing you down. You drown in your own sorrows and the next thing you are devoured by depression and pain.

It is not just one moment where I had to rise to the occassion. It is everyday of my life that I have to thrive, breathe into this 'worn out by the world's scrutiny' body of mine. My soul has long escsaped this physical body, mutilated by the world's stereotypes and stigmas. I have to feed this body life and rescutitate it so that it can take yet another serving of biased criticism, discrimination, judgement and animosity from this harsh world. I look at it wasting away and softly murmur " get up" , let's rebuild and face yet another day. I repeat," let's see what today holds for us". See, I had to defend my honor each day because I was constantly being stripped off my voice and dignity. NO more shall that be the case!

It's a hard-knock life ain't it? f it's not comments about the color of my skin, its about my weight, my physique, the way I speak, how I dress or the makeup I wear on my face. But I stand everyday and say " bring it on, take your best jab".I have been made to believe that I am not good enough countless times, doubt cast upon me, lost my self-worth and my confidence stripped bare infront of my eyes. I have trained this heart not to bleed at naysayers words but rather let them fall on rocky surfaces to be scorched and withered by the sun of my smile. I refuse to let this mind be infiltrated by negativity any more.

Now, I am my own motivation and my own cup of tea. I learnt to embrace parts of me that I never thought I could ever be at peace with. There was a time in my life; I thought I needed the world's validation but now I stopped seeking validation from the world and started living, blocked out noises and energies that aren't good for me. Even though they still come at me, sneaking up on me during my dark hours, I have learnt to live with everything that I am and surmount it all. I rise and reincorporate myself each day. I have seized to wear facades and began to believe and live life with my own terms. I rise and shine, on every occassion and I will do it endlessly.

I have been burnt many times but these ashes now rise to life like a phoenix.