A Life to Love

There is something terrifying about putting yourself out there for the first time. With writing, it is "This is me and these are my thoughts, my made-up or true stories, for anyone in the world to see".

I think at some point in your life, you have to take that first step in becoming your authentic self. It happens when you start to shed what your parents, friends, peers, or anyone you thought you needed to impress, tried to turn you into as a person.

When you start to embrace yourself and who you authentically are, it means not everyone will like you, and learning to be totally ok with that. In fact, quite a few may despise you. But by becoming "not everyone's cup of tea" you find the people who really rejoice when you win and who understand that growth means mistakes and ugly days.

Being authentic means you get to say "no" and realizing that you don't need to feel bad about it; you don't feel bad about it, because you are choosing to do what is best for you. When you honestly say "this is not for me", you open the door to so many other possibilities. Being authentic means you get to build a life you love!

This is your life that you can shape and mold however you wish. You start to choose not to waste time on people or places that leave you feeling empty. You become honest and unapologetic about how you feel. You don't hurt people by being brutal, but you don't feel bad telling them that you have other passions; that your time is too precious to waste on things that don't make you feel alive or closer to your goals.

None of this will happen overnight. You will have break downs and bad days and sometimes you will question your own sanity. But it all starts with one question: "Is this really the life I want to live?". It feels really selfish at first and, unfortunately for most of us, it comes at a time when things have happened that scream to us, "THIS is NOT how I want to live!"

Some people can't handle these changes. Some people don't want you to ever change or grow because it feels uncomfortable to them and that's ok. They are not your people. Your people are usually the ones who get it because they have been there, or they are in the thick of it themselves. They are the ones who support you, but also don't let you sit on your bullshit. They won't listen to your excuses and they will help you reach your goals by reminding you why you wanted this in the first place.

Sometimes, getting to to a good place requires a lot of therapy. Sometimes you need someone who is able to reaffirm to you that you, in fact, are NOT crazy and what happened was NOT okay. It's always ok to ask for help and therapists can be amazing at breaking down issues into smaller steps, or helping sort reality from your own feelings about a situation. They can also help you realize that you don't need to own what other people project, or even think you to be. You are not that person and it isn't your job to prove them wrong. Your job is to love yourself and to love the people who love you without expectation. Your job is to thrive, so that you can show others how to thrive too.

When you choose what is really best for you, you become healthier. You start focusing on things that actually feel good for lengths of time and not the things that are just a "quick fix". You realize you cherish the things that feel good to your soul. You cultivate healthy relationships and find yourself digging deep to break bad habits and cycles. You heal, you break generational curses and suddenly you realize, you are happy.