A Helpful Reminder

I remember hearing something quite some time ago….

It went something like this.

If someone asks you for help and you have the means to help them and you don’t, that says something about your character.

If you have helped and that person misuses it or lied about the help they needed, that says something about theirs.

I have become cynical lately. I no longer reach for the good and I assume everyone is lying to me. I’ve been burned so many times I flinch at a burner that isn’t even on. I am not as inclined to help people that I do not know because I have learned to always question their motives.

For a friend… I’d drop everything to help but for others. I tend to err on the side of… they’re probably lying to me. I don’t want to help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves.

When I was younger I would help everyone as much as I could and I always ended up with the short stick. I became afraid of being hurt again, I let that fear determine my footing and so I started heading toward the path of a bystander. This is somewhere I never wanted to be, to be frozen by fear and uncertainty.

My younger sister works at McDonalds and a mother and daughter came in. Someone was supposed to pick them up. They rode the bus down from San Marcos to Temecula and that’s a good distance, I discovered with a quick google maps search. The people waited all day and then it was too late to get the bus home. This other person was no longer able to pick them up. These people were now stranded and had no place to stay for the night. I was at the cross road again. I felt bad for them but I had not extended my hand and I probably wasn’t going to. My sister, without hesitation, offered them money. At eighteen years old she did not hesitate to hand over her last bit of money for the comfort of a pair of complete strangers. I offered what I could after she placed the first move and gave them a ride to a motel. I was a bit ashamed of myself at that moment. The mother had been crying when I first got there because the Mcdonalds was closing and they knew they had to get out soon. I had not been affected by someone’s ‘sob’ story in probably two years. I had my own problems to focus on and they seemed impossible at that point.

Until that moment, I had forgotten what it was like to help someone else. I had forgotten how small my problems shrank to when I assisted in solving another problem. This experience reminded me that all problems, no matter how large they seem or how much the world seems like it is ending. Things are manageable. Reaching out for help. Stepping away from a situation and re-evaluating it can help make the problem suddenly seem doable rather than feeling like you’re drowning or like you have to run away to save yourself.

If more time was spent helping each other, maybe the problems we all share wouldn’t feel so hard or at least wouldn’t feel so lonely.

My sister had just turned 18 and her abusive father(my step dad) kicked her out and she handled it so well and then still had the head and heart space to help someone else. I am honored to have the sister that I have. I’m thankful for relearning what it means to help someone despite my own struggles. She not only paid a kindness to that woman and her daughter but graced me with the warmth of witnessing that kindness. I hadn’t seen a kindness in so long I had lost hope in them, ceased to believe in them even. My sister reawakened that belief.

The pride I feel for her is immeasurable and I can’t wait to see where her path leads, because it’s looking pretty bright to me.

CREDIT: Photo by Anna Tarazevich from Pexels