A conversation between 19 year old me ,24 year old me and me now.

I found another one of the weird post that people use to do around ten years ago. You know, one of the post of what will you tell your future self.What will you ask and etc, but this one I found it interesting,cause it dug very deep. Knowing what In know now, I can see how much Ive grown ,yet at the same time,what was my thought process and feelings through out the years.

How to read by age the answers:

19 (Normal)

24(Underlined)

(29)(in parenthesis)

1.How do you see yourself currently?

-I see myself small, and frighten of the unknown.I start college soon, I wish I knew what is coming. So I see myself small and frighten. I have no purpose at the moment.

-I see myself stress and a little bit lost to be honest.I work from morning tonight.I am paying student loans and I wish my job was in the field that I actually study in. Im planing to move ,and just went through a break-up. So currently I see myself lost and a bit weak.

-(I see myself strong, resilient ,yet sad sometimes. If I would have known that I was going to make even small choices, that seem like nothing but now it has a big impact with me I would have changed decision.)

2.What advice will you give you future self?

-I will tell myself to be wise and to be strong. I will tell myself learn new instruments. Learn new languages and expand you mind. Spend time with you family,please live next to your family. Do not ever let a man put a hand on you. Find someone that will love you for you.

-I will tell myself , you can do this. Find yourself a job in your field of study. Try to pay all your school loan and don't wait to the end. Get married before you have kids. Stand up for yourself. Don't you dare go back with you ex, he is not good for you.Wait and find the right man,do not rush anything.

-(First hi, How are you? How you holding? What are you thinking of?How do you feel? I hope you are doing well .I hope your life is filled with blessing. I hope you are married, have at least one kid. I will tell you to keep having faith, to never doubt. That if you ever find yourself low, just remember all the times he has helped you. Wait for time to give you the right man.You know what happened with your last two long-term relationship. Wait ,cause you wont regret, and this is coming from single you lol. Have a job that makes you happy. If you haven't bought a car yet buy one already. Spend all the time with the family that you can. Be brave, be strong, you've been through alot,you can take what ever come your way.You have done it before, and they have been dark and brutal so chin up.)

3.What advice will you give your past self?

-You are strong enough to survive you parents divorce. You are strong enough to survive your rape.You are strong enough to survive all three of your family members death ,that came one after another.All the time you called yourself weak and ugly you weren't. All the time you thought you were alone, you weren't. All the time you saw yourself small you weren't. You can keep your friends, you don't have to let them go even if you will move several times,cause it will be several times and it will hurt but it is ok.

-First they told you not to date you ex, I wish you would of listen. It would have saved you so many headaches. I would have saved you so many nights of just pain and tears.I would of told you to stand up, be brave, don't coward just cause you feel like garbage, cause your not, you never been.If you only knew that you not believing in yourself stopped you from so many things. Why did you not put yourself first. At the end of the day it was just you, your ex wasn't there even do he said he was. I would hug you ,literally.

-( WHY DID YOU GO BACK WITH YOUR EX AFTER YOU TOLD YOURSELF NOT TO GO BACK WITH HIM. You knew better ,yet a chance to feel accepted you let your guard down. You accepted him back and he did the same thing to you. On top of that he did worst, and you suffered for it. Why did you, I know ,you felt alone and sad and angry and you just wanted to be loved, but he wasn't the answer. You could of went home with you family, instead of coming back and you would of been loved. You are worth so much more than you think. You are brilliant you are beautiful, you are talented. You stopped being who you were cause of him, left everything you loved,hopes and dreams ,just cause you believe his lies. Then you just had to go and date the one who is your current ex. You saw from the beginning that it was going to go south years down the line, you felt it. Yet just for you to feel love and accepted again you said yes. All you needed was to love yourself, that's it,but you said yes and you ended up hurt. The last bit of you that was out disappeared , for four years. Not one month or weeks, NO, four years. You gave up you for him. You gave him everything he wanted and he hurt you. You could have don't so much better, you just had to wait and that's it just wait.You are more than what you think you are, and if you saw it back then you would have not stayed and settle.Don't let anybody tell you something that your not if it is not positive. Anything negative ignore sweetheart all you had to do was ignore it.)