5 Questions that Will 10x Increase Your Self-Awareness

The biggest mistake you can make is going through the motions in life. As we venture into these most uncertain of times, it’s more important than ever we have clarity and definition for our purpose and direction. This comes from self-inquiry. Powerful questions that move the needle and get us to change our ways.

I asked myself these five questions several years ago, and continue to do so as I re-evaluate my own future. I encourage you to do the same. Here they are:

1. What Will Make Me Most Happy?

Isn’t this always the most important question? Then why do so few people ask it of themselves? Maybe they don’t know to simply look around them, observe and learn. Take this remarkable research from Harvard University professor, Daniel Gilbert:

“People believe that the best way to predict how happy they will be in the future is to know what their future holds, but what they should really want to know is how happy those who’ve been to the future actually turned out to be.”

So much of what enables us to understand what will make us happy comes from empirical observation and the stories of others. We may be drawn to certain things through our intuition and curiosity, but we also want to know what others experienced on their journey and how it made them feel. Here’s some further context from the Harvard Gazette:

“Previous research in psychology, neuroscience, and behavioral economics has shown that people have difficulty predicting what they will like and how much they will like it, which leads them to make a wide variety of poor decisions.”

Take the time to ask yourself this simple yet profound question.

2. Are My Goals and Desires Truly For the Benefit of Others?

For you to succeed, you must go “all in” with this. Otherwise, you’re only in it for yourself. And that never works out well. Live with a selfless mindset and watch the opportunities blossom around you. At the beginning of every venture, ask yourself why you’re doing it. If the only person to gain from it is you, then you seriously may want to think about another course of action.

This goes back to question #1 — if you only do things for yourself, will it really make you happy? As I’ve learned, the answer is a resounding no. Your mission is hopefully one for changing the world for the better. That’s focused on doing things for the benefit of others.

3. What Am I Doing to Have a Positive Effect On Others?

“You can spend your whole life imagining ghosts and worrying about the pathway to the future but all there will ever be is what’s happening here and the decisions we make in this moment.” — Jim Carrey

How can you be more positive and more adventurous in challenging yourself to do more for others, while simultaneously improving your own circumstances? The more you think about this and use it to guide you, the more likely you will feel compelled to take action and do things for the benefit of others. The results will add a fantastic richness and value to your life.

This can be simple acts of kindness and love for the people closest to you. It could be making dinner, picking up groceries, making the bed, getting a friend a coffee on Uber Eats. Doesn’t have to be grandiose measures. Maybe it’s giving someone you care about a book that changed your life — so that it can change theirs. Think deeper. Aspire to make a difference.

4. What Am I Willing to Give Up?

As a former college athlete and high school basketball coach, I use a lot of sports analogies. Life is all about playing both offence and defence. We’ve covered the offence parts in the first three questions. Now, let’s play some defence. What are the things in your life right now that are holding you back that you’re willing to get rid of?

Life is as much about the process of elimination as it is about addition. If you’re overeating, neglecting your mental health, being rude to people who care about you or sabotaging yourself — then you need to stop. This means giving up habits and behaviours.

Make a list of the things that are affecting your personal development. Take a close look at that list and make a conscious effort to start eliminating these habits and behaviours — one-by-one.

5. Am I Open to Change?

I bet there are more people than you think — who are in your life right now — whose lives you can influence and perhaps change forever. You may not think they’re open to it. But maybe the truth is that you’re not yet open to it. Walk through the door and begin by asking yourself what you can do to change your professional and personal environments for the better.

It starts with changing the way you think, feel and act. This is about emotional intelligence — it takes self-awareness and adaptability to recognize when you’re on the wrong path. Then, it’s the self-management component — what are you willing to do about it? And are you going to act?

I hope these five questions help you to rediscover yourself and plot a way forward that helps you to live your best life.

Check out more of my work: http://chrisdconnors.com