3 ways to get to know yourself better

I remember when the coronavirus pandemic had first started imposing new restrictions into law. Boredom and frustration began to consume the American people. People were finding themselves with all this empty time in their hands, and they had no idea what to do with it! When the public was notified that these restrictions may not be temporary, everyone was saying things like, "this is my opportunity to clean my house!" or "I can now finally catch up on my emails" or even "this is my chance to sleep until noon."

These are all great goals to have, don't get me wrong (this month marks the tenth month since the pandemic has started, and I am still sleeping until noon everyday). However, I feel that people are missing an opportunity of a life time, that they may never get a chance to do again.

Getting to know yourself better. Working on yourself. Fulfilling your own needs for once.

What do I mean by that? Let's think about this for a second. The American people are used to hustling. Work life and career have always been our number one priority. The idea of embracing the American Dream means that we work until we bleed because we appreciate the opportunities that this country gives us. Although this can be a great mentality to have, this mindset comes with a shortfall.

When was the last time you put yourself first? When was the last time you weren't worried about your family, trying to mend to you and your partner's relationship, or anxious about your boss thinks of you? When were you concerned about your own health and well-being? This is already a big hole in American culture, and it is now more than ever vital to take care of yourself.

You no longer have that simple walk between the car and work, where you can smell the autumn leaves and smile at a chipmunk running across the parking lot. You no longer can go out to brunch with your grandmother without the worry of her catching the virus. You are no longer able to embrace in human contact. How to you make up for these deficits?

Here are three ways you can start setting time aside for yourself:

Listen to instrumental music

You ever notice that music lyrics can be extremely influential to your mood? For example, when I listen to a love song in the style of country, I feel warm and smitten. I listen to vulgar rap music when I am doing my hair and make-up, because it makes me feel extremely confident in myself. Ed Sheeran is my go-to when I need a good crying session. Music has the ability to shape us and better help us in expressing our feelings. But what happens when the lyrics go away?

When there is no story-line to follow in the song, the story is now up to the listener. I learned this through my Dance degree. When choreographing a piece that is a genuine reflection of your own ideas, choosing a song with words will only suppress the choreographer's creative flow. A creator of dance should never rely on the lyrics to guide the piece, rather rely on their own creativity. I one danced for a piece in which the choreographer created an eight-minute long poem about pollution, read the poem out loud, recorded it, and used that audio for her own dance piece.

Create your own poem (and I mean this only figuratively). When trying to listen to your yourself and what it wants, put on a piece of instrumental music and allow for what your mind wants to pop up. Don't try to force a dialogue, and you will find that you might unlock a part of yourself that you have never heard from before. Trust me, you'd be surprised about the things you'll learn about yourself.

This oddly reminds me of that scene in Ratatouille when Remy eats a piece of cheese and a strawberry. He first eats the two foods separately, but when he combines them it creates a whirlwind and sensations and thoughts for Remy. Think of the instrumental music to be your fruit and cheese combo (or whatever snack you like, really!).

Authentic Movement practice

I recently just did a presentation on Authentic Movement in one of my college courses. The whole premise of the practice is to not force anything. You want to become mindful of your own bodies impulses and let your body react accordingly. This way of moving is supported by the idea that the mind and body are an interconnected system that are apart of one another. When I first started practicing Authentic Movement, I was in a place in my life where I was feeling extremely anxious. My movements were quick and awkward. As I began to feel less anxious within myself, I noticed my movements slow down. I became more appreciative of my body. I would even do things like kiss my arms, and tell my arms that I was grateful for them. As weird as this all sounds, it is extremely therapeutic in so many ways.

My current roommate will sometimes lock the door, put in her Air Pods, and dance around the bedroom. I think this alone goes to show that verbal expression is not always the best solution for everyone's problems.

My only comment for doing this is that it will definitely feel awkward at first. Even when you are completely alone, you feel like you are being watched and judged. The more you pay attention to this feeling, the more you realize that the person watching and judging is yourself! This begins to create that inner dialogue with yourself:

What are you doing? What are you judging? Why are you judging? What do you feel the need to express right now? How are you feeling?

Keep asking yourself why in this process, and I promise you that through this method, you can get to the bottom of any questions that you have about yourself.

Start writing in a journal

Okay, yeah, I know. This is a cliché one. But it is redundant for a reason! This is really the only way that you can see your inner dialogue in the physical world. You get to visually see how your mind works on paper, and then reflect on the process afterwards. Also, this is a great way of expressing your anger or sadness without hurting other people. It is also a great way to not engage in avoidant behaviors!

Of course you are not going to be rational when you are angry. For example, you will not write in your journal something like, "I am feeling irate because my boyfriend does not pick up on the subtle hints that I drop for him, but I am responsible for my own feelings."

Although that sounds great, you are not working through the waves of your emotions genuinely. There is a yin and a yang to everything, and you cannot reach a point of order without their being true chaos first. One does not come without the other. Ignoring your impulses will only lead to avoidance, and avoidance is just a really weak band-aid that you put on a gushing wound

An accurate depiction of your thought process in your journal would actually be, "MY STUPID DICKHEAD BOYFRIEND DOESN'T LISTEN TO A WORD I SAY AND I AM SUPER FUCKING ANNOYED RIGHT NOW." Maybe you'll punch a pillow afterwards. Maybe gossip to your pet. Maybe grab a pint of Ben and Jerry's so that you can engage in emotional eating. At least now you know how you are feeling, and at least now you know how to help yourself.

While restrictions are forcing us to stay at home, utilize this free time to learn more about yourself! If you do not feel like cleaning the bathroom or going out for a run, try engaging in some of these self-care techniques instead. 2020 has been a rough year for pretty much everyone, so why not use this free time for ourselves?