3 Books I Wish I Read The First Year of My Twenties
The 3 Books That Created Shifts in My Thinking in My Early Twenties
This past year, I turned 25, and as I hit the halfway mark of my twenties, I found that this birthday pulled me into a state of reflection in a way that all my previous birthdays didn’t.
If you’re in your early twenties and you’re feeling woefully unprepared for adult life and relationships and work, you’re probably doing just fine. Your early twenties feel chaotic because you’re not only entering a more amorphous period of your life, where there typically aren’t set grades or goals to hit or chase, but you’re also learning about yourself all over again. Your early twenties are for uncovering your own ways of being in the world—your coping mechanisms and beliefs about yourself and others and what’s possible—and figuring out which of those beliefs or coping mechanisms have served their purpose in your life and are in need of an upgrade to something healthier and more sustainable.
As a writer, I turn to books and quotes more than anything or anyone else for advice and guidance, so here are 3 books I wish I read the first year of my twenties to get me through the ups and downs of my first few years of true adulthood.
The Defining Decade by Meg Jay
If there is one book that I think should be required reading for every twenty-something, it’s The Defining Decade by the Clinical Psychologist Meg Jay. You may have seen her popular TED talk, “Why 30 Is Not the New 20,” where Jay described her work with twenty-something clients to help them navigate this crucial decade where the seeds of mid-life contentment, or discontentment, are planted.
By describing situations that each of her twenty-something clients are facing—in love and work and personal growth—Jay takes us through research and anecdotes from her own work with her clients to prove how vital it is for you to embrace adulthood and all of its responsibilities in order to truly find the happiness, freedom, and love that we’re all searching for in this crazy decade.
Grab a copy for yourself or the twenty-something in your life.
I Thought It Was Just Me by Brené Brown
I would recommend Dr. Brené Brown’s books to everyone, but I think the sooner you delve into her body of work on shame and vulnerability, the better. This is Brown’s first book and she shares her research to reveal how vital vulnerability is to connect with others in our lives, and how to identify and then work through shame. I put this book down feeling like I had the tools to reconnect with others, and perhaps more importantly, to reconnect with myself.
Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed
To give you a sense of how impactful this book was on my life; when I finished it, I slept with it held to my chest for a week afterwards. Cheryl Strayed, the author of the memoir Wild, capturing her journey hiking the Pacific Crest Trail after her mother’s death, is also the author behind the Rumpus’ advice column, Dear Sugar, and is one of the hosts of the Dear Sugars podcast—and Tiny Beautiful Things is a compilation of some of the most impactful letters Strayed wrote as part of the Dear Sugar column.
Part of what makes Strayed’s writing so powerful in this book is the fact that she doesn’t just give advice and focus on the letter writer’s dilemma—she mines her own life and experiences for stories to share with the letter writer to provide context for her advice and to embrace vulnerability and share herself with her readers and the letter writer in just the way the letter writer does by writing to her.
If you are on any kind of healing or mental health journey, this book is essential. Strayed responds to each letter with such compassion and empathy, while also providing the hard truths that we tend to shy away from stating outright. I think this was the most important book I read in my early twenties—let me know what you think if you read this one!
Drop any other book suggestions in the comments below!
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