2020- a retrospective

2020; a year that will go down in infamy... Not very often you get to live through a section in a history text book, aye?

But that's not what I'm here to talk about, least not on such a global scale. 2020 was definately a years of highs and lows, for myself as well as many others. However, as we entre 2021- let's hope the sequal is better than the original- I felt the need to take a look back at 2020, and see how it was for me, and hopefully by doing so possibly help or entertain others who felt or experienced similar thing's.

So, 2020 started pretty meh all thing's considered, January at the time was pretty take it or leave it. The world was going on and on about various thing's that seemed worlds away from me and mine, I was entering the final semester of my last year at uni, and like most I was pretty chilled. Dissertation? Well that wasn't due for ages, so no need to worry about that just yet. I was in a small town, close to home but far enough away to have independance, I had a small but close group of friends, a job at the uni library and could generally smoke and drink whenever I fancied with said friends. So, all in all- pretty tidy.

Feburary was I guess the sign of thing's to come, my granddad on my dads side unfortunately passed away in a hospice near his home, a seeming case of "I'm bored, let's go" when all signs were pointing to him being released to go home- he always played by his rules, so major respect granddad for keeping to that all the way. I got to meet a relative that I had always heard of but hadn't had the chance to till this unfortunate situation. When granddad had been laid to rest, I went back to my uni life. So, Februrary sucked more than January, but still relatively managable.

March, oh boy, this is when 2020 showed it's real face. Covid, the disease that had once seemed so far away, another place's problem, was now impacting me and mine. The first lockdown was annouced, just after I doubted they'd act so quickly, and before I knew it my social circle was gone. This was not something I ever thought I'd miss, I was basically Miss Anti-Social, all the way up to uni but had decided I was gonna try and form connections while there, and I did... But even so, I was close enough to home to be alright but far enough to avoid parental worry and panic.

April, while the world was going on about covid, my body decided to screw me over and develop a stomach bug- relatively a year later, still no idea how I got it, at this point there was one other person in the flat with me, and they had not shown symptoms. After dealing with it alone for the first time, I got a ride back to my mothers, the relative self-isolation of my room and bathroom for three to four days had made me long for anywhere else. Didn't get to see my dad for his birthday, and had to postpone his prezzie- the one year it was a really decent one too, but what you going to do.

May and June kinda mixed together- mum and me were getting along alright ish, but with her schedule and mine being so different just stoked the fires our personalities already had going. I also remembered I had a disertation to finish, which I did but it could have been and should have been better, but ah well. Signed on for the dole for the first time in three years, so Covid had done me one solid so far- no job centres, so far alright.

July was alright; lockdown had lifted and it was my birthday month, so a pretty good month. Also mum was off work, and brothers off school so I no longer had to tipie toe through life at home for a bit. All and in all, quite a chilled month. Went to see one of my flatmates for the first time since March, which was cool- a bit of munch and smoke between good friends is always a must.

August, now this was the peak before the drop. Went on the last night out with friends I was going to have that year, spent more than I meant to and went Welsh accent wise, so definately a good night all thing's considered. The government had started this "eat out to help out" thing, and the reactions the following month were eyerollingly painful.

September- when you encourage people to socialise when a contagious virus is around, please do not act surprised when infection rates increased. I mean, that is something my brother could figure out and he is only in primary school. Anyway, so young people were blamed for the increased numbers, yet I went out and it was the younger generations trying to follow the rules where the older ones seemed to think it didn't apply to them. Of course, you had your teens who were just as bad, but honestly they're the kind that no matter what's happening, they'll always go on the side of stupid, so no surprise there really. This really started to get to me. Now, according to certain family 27 no longer classes me as one of the young, being closer to thirty and being a grown woman... But I'm a hell of a lot closer to that age range than the old ones who want respect but ain't willing to give- it's a tit for tat thing... Anyway, I was still in relative high spirits, my holiday season was coming up, and I was so ready for it.

October- Halloween... Well, that was a nice idea, shame the new tier system put a freak end to any ideas of having anything close to the usual. Expected and yet still stung, Halloween is my jam, always has been so yeah, safe to say I was royaly ticked off, but what ya gonna do? Christmas was coming, maybe that'd be alright? Well, as the year had gone on and I still hadn't been able to find my own place, mother and I were near constantly at each others throats, so a "family" celebration seemed like a huge joke to me. My mind had begun to go stagnunt too, I'm one of those who needs constant forms of mental stimuli or I become a right git. So, mix these three thing's together and my mood was going downhill fast.

At some point I lost one of my closest friends. They didn't die, just their parent thought it was okay to bully me for pulling out a holiday- nearly six months in advance- and still want/expect my remaining half of the money put towards it back. Luckily, they learnt that if you wanna upset me that much, my mum will show you up. I wanna take this moment to make clear- I love my mum, she just drives me insane to such a degree and with such skill, it's hard to remember she doesn't realise she's doing it most of the time.

November- Lockdown 2; because it worked so well last time? Either way, this one didn't bother me so much, mum and boys were in work in school, so once I'd done the few jobs mum asked me to do I vanished from the house and made my way to my closest, both geographically and otherwise, friends place. Avoided my mother so much it was just what I needed. I begun to plan and get gifts for family, still rubbish with money but some thing's never change. I also finally got onto the waiting list to be assessed for autism, something I had wanted for ages- I was assessed for it in primary school, but as I am no longer a child wasn't worth the paper it was written on- I was told it was a looong list, but considering I'd wanted to be assessed again since I turned 18, what was a bit longer onto nine years?

December- Well lockdown was lifted, London was finally treated like it was part of the country and not it's own special land, and I got to see most if not all of my immediate family over holiday; so yeah, it was shaping up to be a brill end, I was planning projects and ideas to get me away and out of my mental rut... Then January happened, but hey, it is still early days.

So, after that long winded encapsulation of what proved to be a year with more ups and downs, sharp turns and loop de loops than most decent roller coasters. Comparitively I got by pretty well. Apart from my mental health, this year just made every single issue or problem I have or possibly have join a choir and a marching band. I can only hope this year allows me to better adapt, or at least get the skills I need to cope and get on with my life outside of uni.

If you've read this, I appreciate it and hope it entertained or at least assured you that you're not alone. You may have gone through worse, you may have gone through better, but if you can't look at back at the madness and laugh even a little, then your face is on too tight.

To 2021, do not be The Rise of Skywalker to last years The Last Jedi, no one needs, wants or has time for that. Be the Deadpool to 2020's X-Men Origins: Wolverine... Just, don't do us dirty, we've had enough of that.