Being Well

The Way We Talk To Ourselves

Everything that our bodies do, is in an attempt to protect us and to keep us alive. Whether that be through inflaming a joint in response to pain or overuse, or making our head hurt when we haven’t had enough to drink that day. Our bodies are constantly trying to get us to slow down and pay attention to how we are feeling.

When we live busy lives, it can become hard to find time to slow down and pay attention to ourselves when the outside world is demanding so much from us. Maybe we try to ignore the pain and pretend it isn’t there, or maybe we attempt to mask it with medications or whatever else we can to distract ourselves. So instead of allowing our bodies the rest it needs to heal itself, our body learns to get used to that chronically stressed or in pain state of being.

➢ Our emotional worries and pain can just as easily manifest themselves through physical symptoms within our body (such as: feeling our stomach hurt when we are feeling anxious, or feeling our heart racing when we have to have an uncomfortable conversation with someone)

Our brain wants to believe everything that we tell it.. So it will take those sarcastic, self-deprecating comments that we make towards ourselves, and file them away as facts. The more we repeat those negative comments towards ourselves everyday, the more our brain will believe them to be true.

Let’s take the example of always feeling tired or in pain. Most of us are so preoccupied throughout the day that the only time there is an awareness of our physical body is when something is hurting or forcing our attention to it. So any time we actually do check in with our body, or perhaps more accurately, whenever our body forces us to pay attention to itself, it truly does feel like we are always tired or in pain.

This means that what we are feeling is real.

However, because we only consciously check in with our body when it is tired or in pain, these lower states of being become the ‘normal’ state of functioning to us. Since that IS what we are feeling when we check in with ourselves, we tell our brain and body that this is ALWAYS how we feel. Now suddenly, just like a Google search engine, our brain automatically fills in the phrase “I am..” with the first thought, feeling, or ‘suggestion’ that comes up when we think of that sentence. Which we have told ourselves is “always tired” or “always in pain”.

Since the brain knows what being tired feels like… and it remembers what being in pain feels like… telling ourselves that we are always tired or in pain gives our brain easy access to release the associated chemicals within our body that can cause us to feel that particular way. For example, a rush of adrenaline can make us feel scared or anxious, but it can also make us feel excited or passionate. So when we tell ourselves that we are tired or in pain, our brain releases the chemicals that make us feel that way, signalling to our body that we should maybe slow things down or protect ourselves by inflaming a joint or whatever the case may be.

We truly are what we think.

If we can change the way that we talk to ourselves, our brain will start to change the way that it talks to the rest of our body too. One of the simplest ways to start changing the way we speak to ourselves is to allow for conscious pauses throughout our day. This means intentionally choosing to remove ourselves from the chatter, and sitting alone inside of our brain without any other distractions. If we can do this throughout our day, during whatever emotion we may be feeling in that present moment… we may begin to see that maybe pain ISN’T always the first thing that we feel. Even if just for a moment, our brain was able to consciously file away another feeling. So just like our Google search engine example, it expanded our list of possibilities for how we may be feeling when we say “I am…”.

If we can take these pauses to check in with our body at times when we are feeling other emotions like happiness, or excitement, or curiosity… we can start to gain a larger awareness of all the different types of emotions and sensations that our body really feels.

Thus, our list of Google search results for how we may be feeling expands even further, and suddenly we no longer relate to our previously auto-suggested top results of being “always in pain” or “always tired”. Those suggestions start to get clicked on less and less, until they are pushed completely out of our top results to make space for newer ones that we relate to and click on more.

This is why repeating positive affirmations to yourself works. If we can speak to ourselves with understanding and compassion, those automatic suggestions of negative phrases describing ourselves start to get pushed back and replaced by more positive ones. In the same way that Google displays our most likely to click on suggestions at the top of our search bar… the more we think of and feel positively about ourselves or a situation, the easier it is for our brain to access those positive emotions and make us experience those feelings, just by thinking of them.

Some resources to help you pause:

Triple Flame - an app that reminds you to take 3 to 10 minute pauses throughout the day, with a live number count of how many people are pausing around the world with you.

Headspace - a guided meditation app with topics ranging from Creativity, Depression, Mindful Eating, Care-Taking, Focus, etc.

Use my referral link to get 30 Days Free of Headspace!

You Are The Placebo by Joe Dispenza - a fantastic book on how to rewire your brain and take control of your own health.

Try to be aware of each time you go from a sitting position to a standing position, or vice versa. See how many times throughout the day you can be present with your body movements, and how much of your day you live on autopilot.