Stop Telling People How to Feel

n I was younger I had a "Spiritual Teacher" tell me that my feelings were lying to me. I had no reason to be angry even though I was experiencing wage theft, my work stolen from me with no credit, a program that I created based on my educational background almost taken from me, having no days off because they kept scheduling me on requested days off. I could go on. I needed to let go and forgive was their spiritual bypassing advice.

I had a client come in whose mother told her she needed to "look at the bright side" when she finally found the courage to say she could no longer take the verbal abuse. As if there's a bright side to abuse. As if her pain needed to be wrapped in toxic positivity. As if standing up for herself was somehow wrong. The same mother who claimed, "All this crying is only going to make you sick" - as though expressing pain was more damaging than the abuse that caused it.

Enough with telling people how to feel.

Stop telling someone their anger isn't appropriate. Stop saying they're being too sensitive. Stop acting like rage in the face of injustice needs containment.

Stop telling grieving hearts they should be healed by now. Stop pushing recovery timelines on others. Stop acting like loss should have an expiration date.

Stop telling joyful souls their happiness is too loud. Stop trying to dim bright spirits. Stop suggesting that laughter needs a volume control.

Stop telling anxious minds they're overthinking. Stop dismissing legitimate fears. Stop pushing "just relax" as if it's a solution. Stop pretending mental health struggles aren't real.

Stop telling passionate hearts their love is too intense. Stop judging how people care. Stop measuring affection by outdated standards.

Stop telling tear-stained faces not to cry. Stop equating tears with weakness. Stop pushing people to "be strong" when they need to break.

Stop telling excited spirits to contain themselves. Stop dampening raw enthusiasm. Stop suggesting passion needs professional packaging.

Stop telling those in darkness their sadness is unnecessary. Stop pushing toxic positivity. Stop claiming happiness is always a choice.

Stop telling hopeful souls they're naive. Stop crushing optimism. Stop suggesting cynicism equals wisdom.

Stop telling wounded hearts their hurt isn't valid. Stop comparing people's pain. Stop using others' suffering to invalidate someone's struggles.

Stop telling empathetic souls what deserves their compassion. Stop limiting how much people can care. Stop suggesting some causes aren't worth emotional investment.

Stop telling healing hearts there's only one way through trauma. Stop pushing recovery timelines. Stop acting like healing follows a straight line.

Emotional guidance shouldn't be forced. Support shouldn't be imposed. Perspective shouldn't be demanded.

No one needs emotional judgment. No one needs their feelings questioned. No one needs approval for their internal world.

Everyone deserves to experience their own emotions. Process their own feelings. Sit with their own discomfort.

Each emotional landscape is unique. Every reaction is personal. All hearts beat their own rhythm.

Stop policing feelings.

The world carries enough judgment, enough criticism, enough attempts to reshape hearts into acceptable forms. People's emotions aren't clay to be molded by outside hands. Their feelings aren't mistakes to be corrected.

Already, enough voices are shaping emotional reality—societal expectations, family patterns, and cultural norms. No more voices are needed to dictate acceptable emotions.

Let people feel their own way. Let them process at their own pace. Let them experience their own truth.

Because feelings belong to those who feel them. Hearts to those who carry them. Souls to those who live them.

And they'll feel them their way.

Stop policing emotions.

Let. People. Feel.

About the author: Victoria is the co-founder of Healing Arts Center in Virginia Beach, offering somatic and mindfulness coaching, meditative writing, breathwork, anxiety-reducing hypnotherapy, and Reiki.

https://www.vagaro.com/healingartscenter