satire

Workplace satire, comedy, and all things satirical in the Journal corporate culture digital space.

A Whole New Roach
So, I have already mentioned that I work for a hotel in my first published story, "Work Related Stress". Having said that, if you have already read it then you know I am not in the most comfortable position.
By Must Love Dogs 6 years ago in Journal
Walmart Owners Offer Employees 3% Discount On “Dumpster Diving Classes”
“Times are tough. Everybody knows that. I mean I think I heard that somewhere or something.” Ronnie Walton, one of the heirs to the Walmart fortune said Friday at a press conference called by the $130 Billion dollar Waltons, owners of Walmart. The U.S.’s largest employer is set to roll out a new plan to help Walmart employees with their household budgets.
By Diane Randle6 years ago in Journal
Do You Guru? 3 Secrets to Unlock/Reach/Master Etc Etc Etc
EXCLUSIVE OFFER: Only for people that have a social media account (or a pulse). I swear half my emails/messages start with "your photo/video/profile has been chosen/shortlisted/nominated/picked for blah blah blah"... Or I've become eligible to learn some of your "secrets you've learnt" via some all-enlightening epiphany you had one day.
By john harrison7 years ago in Journal
An Honest Cover Letter
Any one of you that have been in the throes of a job interview will probably have had to fabricate quite a few white lies in your time. "Why did you apply for this job?" The answer is most likely money. "Why do you think you'd be good for this job?" Well, you're an extra pair of hands? And do you really need to see my GCSE results to determine whether or not I can stack a shelf or scribble the phrase "X4 Diet Cokes" on a paper pad?
By Olivia Owens8 years ago in Journal
Work Stories - Easter Sunday
EASTER SUNDAY In my younger days, I was a head banger and it showed. I wore heavy metal shirts (always long-sleeved, never any other color than black), torn baggy jeans, steel-toed Doc Martens, had a chain wallet (with 3' chain), and had slightly longer than shoulder length hair and a goatee. I didn’t wear makeup because that shit is for posers. My attitude was metal and that is how I carried myself. When I was at work, the need to tone down the attitude was there. I would put on my work shirt, a maroon polo with the store logo… tucked in, my name tag, and pulled my hair into a pony tail. That was my “business” look, if you will.
By Dee Jay8 years ago in Journal
The Secret Life of a Serial Dreamer
Have you ever been so deeply inspired by something that you’ve done absolutely nothing? Have you dreamed so vividly that you forgot to wake up?
By Destiny McMillan8 years ago in Journal
5 Tips for a New Author
We've all been there. That amazing idea has been kicking around in your head for an entire 10 minutes and it's just way too great to not be shared with the entire world. You think — nay, you KNOW — that this concept will surely catapult you into the top echelon of great American novelists, and you are salivating at the chance to conquer the incredibly lucrative (and easy!) world of writing. Here is a list of things you should do before you begin.
By M.P. Laluep8 years ago in Journal
My Adventures as a Pizza Delivery Driver
Boy, the year sure did fly by again and once more upon us all is the holiday season. I guess that this had to be my favorite time of the year to deliver pizzas, driving along to all of my customer's houses and seeing all of their beautiful Christmas decorations neatly placed in their yards for everybody to see. Around the holiday season at the store, we are all busy like little elves, running here and there and hurrying here and hurrying there. Everybody is having and also attending Christmas parties, office parties, and family get togethers at this busy time of the year, oh yeah, and how could I forget the shopping? Plus decorating, gift wrapping presents, cooking and working.
By Rhonda Farley9 years ago in Journal
My Adventures as a Pizza Delivery Driver
The International Airport is located just a few miles down the road from the Store. Personally, I do not think that people that work at the airport should order pizza, there is nowhere to pull over to park once you get to the airport. The security at the airport has zero tolerance for delivery drivers. I did not know this until I got pulled over by the same Security Officer three times in one night.
By Rhonda Farley9 years ago in Journal
I'll Tell You the Secret to Entrepreneurial Success
Generally, I would consider myself to be a fairly pragmatic person. So much so that, in some circles, I'm alternatively labeled as "emotionally unavailable," "empathetically barren," or even "an apathetic void of ghastly intensity." That being said, over time I have proven myself to be a successful entrepreneur, and I'd like to think that it is due, at least in part, to these traits I hold. Because I hold an objectivity my distinct lack of emotional accord grants me, I've been able to navigate the consistently choppy waters of taking an idea or product from conception to market with a decent amount of success. Success that, barring any unforeseen investigation into matters long since rendered closed by the Attorney General's Office of Criminal Affairs, appears unlikely to abate anytime soon.
By Jeremy Timmons9 years ago in Journal
Millennials Are The Worst Generation
Hello. My name is Clark, and I was born on a frosty, winter afternoon in January of the ever-so-fleeting year of 1995. That makes me a Millennial, and therefore an expert on Millennials.
By Luis Ramos9 years ago in Journal
The Struggle of Being a Millennial
I googled "What have millennials...." and thanks to the power of Google, the first thing that came up was" What have millennials ruined...".
By Eleni T9 years ago in Journal